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Tiger Quotes:

  • Tiger: Good to see you, Professor Tsun!

    Professor Tsun: Well, it's good to be here.

    Tiger: We've been waiting impatiently for your visit here.

    Professor Tsun: Well, I can certainly assure you, you won't be disappointed. I've just invented something superb. Heh-heh, heh-heh, heh-heh!

    Tiger: Well, that's good. Good.

    Professor Tsun: Mr. Chan, you mentioned... a change in plan, didn't you?

    Tiger: This is true. The original plan we had in mind for this type of bomb changed, which is why we requested you to, uh, re-design it as a time bomb instead.

    Professor Tsun: [putting briefcase on table] I'm sure that you'll be satisfied with what I have constructed.

    Tiger: Good, good.

    Professor Tsun: Eh-heh, eh-heh!

    [opens briefcase, revealing a large time bomb]

    Tiger: A fine piece of work!

    Professor Tsun: Thank you! This bomb is as easily as powerful as the others, and with remote control.

    Tiger: But will it blow my enemies up?

    Professor Tsun: Well, I'd say... sky-high, eh? Heh-heh, heh-heh, heh-heh!

    Tiger: It's just what I need. Thank you, Professor Tsun.

  • Tiger: There are two types of bugs in this world. One comes from dirt another comes from society. If the bugs from the dirt bite you, you go sick. But if bugs from society bite you, whole society gets sick. You can cill the bugs from dirt, but the society bugs you can't.

  • Tiger: We love one another, we always want to be together...

  • Tiger: Juma you had promised to kiss me next friday, today is friday, so come on and give me a kiss...

  • Stella: So, you got a name?

    Tiger: Yes. It is a Persian name, for I am Persian. I was born Prince Tigeriess Mahmood Shabaz.

    Stella: Ooh, that's a mouthful. Can I just call you Tiger?

  • Tiger: Shoo, go on, get away from here. My owner does not give scraps to common strays.

    Stella: Common strays? Alright, you asked for it...

    [turns and raises rear]

    RJ: [whispers] Get the collar!

    Stella: Gee, that's a nice collar you got on. Mind if I have a look?

    Tiger: No-no-no-no-no! Come no closer! I must not be so near a creature of the outdoor woods.

    [sneezes]

    Tiger: Away with your filth!

    Stella: My filth? My *filth*?

    Penny: Oh jeepers here we go.

    Stella: Okay, that's it. I'm sick and tired of everybody taking one look at me and running away 'cause they think I'm filthy. Well I got news for you: I didn't get primped and preened to have some overfed, pompous puffball tell me he's too good for me. I've got makeup on my *butt*, dude! And you don't even want to know about the cork!

    Tiger: Stop! No one has *ever* spoken to me like that!

    [others gasp]

    Tiger: It is bold... I like it.

    Stella: Yeah? Well, there's more where that came from, uh... puffball!

    [Leads him away from the door]

    Tiger: You're strong. Your essence is overpowering.

    Stella: [pushes tail down] Wh-what do you mean by that?

    Tiger: It is your eyes.

    Stella: My eyes?

    Tiger: They are... luminous.

    Stella: Luminous... Dang.

  • Tiger: [calling after Stella sadly] STELLA!

  • Tiger: Stella? Stella? Where are you going? Stella? STEEEELLLLLLAAAAAAA!

  • Stella: You mean you don't mind the smell?

    Tiger: This face was bred for Beauty. I cannot smell a thing.

  • Tiger: Stop! No one has ever spoken to me like that!

    [beat]

    Tiger: It is bold. I like it!

  • Tiger: [to the Mousican chief] How!... do you do?

  • Tiger: [escapes a dog by catching a train] I made it! What a stupid dog! Nah nah-nah nah-nah nah! Your mother was never housebroken! Ha ha! Toodle-oo!

    [He enters the caboose, only to come face to face with another dog]

    Tiger: He-he... Hi. Ahhhhhh!

  • [after Tiger falls off a cliff]

    Tiger: [as though nothing happened] I hurt myself.

  • Wylie Burp: [to Tiger on top of a cliff] Suck in you're paunch, boy.

    Tiger: [sucks in his paunch, causing his upper body to look like a balloon]

    Wylie Burp: Good. Now saunter on out there one leg in front of the other. Slow and easy.

    Tiger: [makes farting noises as he walks along the cliff, but falls off the side and flys around like a deflated balloon]

    Tiger: [sitting on the ground] I hoit myself.

  • Tiger: I will be tough. I will be brave. I will...

    [Sees Chula, the tarantula]

    Tiger: Ahhh! It's a spi... a spee... a spid-d-d-d... an arachnid!

  • [Fievel and Tiger are both lost in the desert; they see each other in the distance]

    Fievel: Tiger!

    Tiger: Fievel! I've been searching all over for you!

    Fievel: Tiger! Is that you?

    Tiger: Fievel!

    Fievel: Nope. Bet it's another mirage.

    Tiger: Oh, Fievel, I just can't tell you how much I wish... you weren't... a mirage.

    [They pass each other]

    Fievel: Hi, mirage of Tiger.

    Tiger: Hi, mirage of Fievel.

  • Wylie Burp: [to Fievel] It's too tough, kid. Get out while you still can.

    Tiger: Okay. Toodle-oo!

  • Tiger: I think a little endive went down the wrong tube.

  • Tiger: Dogs. I hate those guys.

  • Tiger: [Passes by a buffalo skeleton] Don't they ever dust this place? A guy can make a fortune out here selling...

    [the skeleton rises up and tries to attack Tiger; Tiger turns around and the skeleton goes back to where it was]

    Tiger: ... vacuum cleaners.

    [the skeleton rises up again, then back when Tiger turns; this happens repeatedly until the skeleton breaks into a tap-dance routine and collapses]

    Tiger: Dancing buffalo bones. Nah!

    [the skeleton suddenly jumps over Tiger, trapping him; Indian mice, which had been moving the skeleton in the first place, surround him]

  • Tiger: [lost in desert] I'm lost and all alone, in a million acre catbox.

  • Tiger: Can't we get an espresso and talk this over, please?

  • Tiger: It's funny how your appetite perks up when you find out you're gonna eat dinner, instead of BE dinner.

  • Fievel: Oh, Tiger, I almost forgot. How do I get to Green River?

    Tiger: Just grab a passing sagecoach.

    [a tumbleweed stops next to them, Fievel gets on it]

    Fievel: Thanks. See you later.

    [the tumbleweed tumbles away with Fievel]

    Tiger: Sagecoach, get it? Sage. Ha ha ha! Aw, never mind.

  • Tiger: [lands on a stagecoach] Mom always wanted me to be on the stage.

  • Tiger: This is the worst moment of my life. I wouldn't wish this on a dog. Maybe a dog.

  • Tiger: You lost your family? Oh, dear. That's terrible. I lost my family, too. Years ago, I mean.

    [Starts sobbing]

    Tiger: Eight brothers. Ten sisters. Three fathers.

  • Tiger: [playing cards] I got it! I got it! I got it! Rummy!

    Cat: Tiger, for the hundredth time, we're playing poker.

  • Gussie Mausheimer: I never dweamt this morning I'd be widing a fewine.

    Tiger: [laughs] A fewine?

    Gussie Mausheimer: A cat!

    Tiger: I knew that, I knew that.

  • Tiger: Listen, I like mice.

    [Fievel cries]

    Tiger: Oh, no. Not like that. You see, I don't eat red meat at all. I'm a vegetarian. Oh, a little fish now and then, but what I really like is a nice piece of... shh... broccoli.

  • Warren T. Rat: How did he get away, Tiger?

    Tiger: I let him take advantage of me.

    Warren T. Rat: You're fired, Tiger.

    Tiger: Good. I never liked you. And besides, your music stinks.

  • Tiger: I like butterflies with big, golden wings, and blue and green tips.

    Fievel Mousekewitz: Me too!

    Tiger: I like Swiss cheese ice cream.

    Fievel Mousekewitz: Me too! Me too!

    Tiger: You too-too? Wait a minute. What's your favorite book?

    Fievel Mousekewitz: Why, the Brothers Karamousov.

    Tiger: [laughing] The Brothers... I don't believe it!

  • Tiger: I'm your guard, Tiger. Don't make any sudden moves, 'cause I'm crafty and I'm quick. I've got the instints of a cat. What am I saying? I am a cat.

  • [Tiger has just let Fievel escape]

    Warren T. Rat: You're fired.

    Tiger: Good. I'm glad. I never liked you. And besides, your music stinks.

  • Tiger: [atop an observatory] ... And now, on the day I end it all, I'd like to leave Margaret the bearded lady my rhinestone collar and my wet-dry shaver. I'd like to leave Jack the midget nothing. It's too late for you, Jack. You're a short...

    [John's Range-Rover pulls up at the main entrance, far below. With John are Lucky and both of the Rats]

    Tiger: ... Hey, get out of there! You're in my landing space!

    Rat #2: [from the Range-Rover] See if you land on your feet, Road-Kill.

    Lucky: [following John up to confront the tiger] ... Coming right up - one order of man, side of dog.

    Tiger: Good-bye, cruel world. Oh no, I just remembered. I wanted to leave the whip to the baboon. One of the few animals which enjoy that kind of thing.

    Dr. John Dolittle: [attempts to talk the tiger out of jumping from the observatory] Hey, whoa. Take it easy now... Remember that song "Eye of the Tiger," from ROCKY 3? When Rocky was fighting Mr. T, couldn't beat him - then Apollo Creed played "Eye of the Tiger" for him. Rocky beat the snot out of Mr. T because of "Eye of the Tiger." Because that song moved Rocky inside...

    [He sings the song, way out of tune, to demonstrate]

    Dr. John Dolittle: ... Not Eye of the Moose, not Eye of the Bull, Eye of the TIGER.

    Tiger: That's it. I'm jumping.

    Dr. John Dolittle: Listen, I'm a doctor. Maybe I can help you. If I can't, then you can eat me AND Lucky.

    Lucky: Or just him.

    Tiger: All right. I just hope you're a better doctor than you are a singer.

    Lucky: Good job, Doc. Although, seeing a tiger jump 5 stories would have been really cool.

    Tiger: I heard that.

  • Tiger: [Jake the Tiger is about to be taken, by John and Lucky, to the hospital for an operation] ... Wait a minute. The dog gets to ride up front?

    Lucky: Stop looking at me like I'm a side dish.

    Tiger: Don't flatter yourself.

  • Dr. John Dolittle: [Trying to keep the Tiger from jumping off a tower] There's been plenty of great tigers.

    Tiger: Oh yeah? Name one

    Lucky: How about Tony?

    Dr. John Dolittle: Tony the cereal tiger?

    Lucky: Well I didn't hear you come up with anything.

  • Tiger: [John is about to operate on Jake, the tiger] Have you ever done this operation before?

    Dr. John Dolittle: Yeah, once in medical school. But it was to a cadaver. But my professor told me I did such a good job that, had my patient not been dead, he would've lived.

    Tiger: [sarcastically] Very comforting, Doc.

  • Tiger: I just might hang myself by my underpants! I can get underpants! Well, not really.

  • Sam: Maybe we should split up.

    Tiger: Totally.

  • Hando: What'd you run into me for?

    Tiger: I didn't mean it, mate, that guy pushed me.

    Hando: What'd you run into me for? What are you doing here? *What* are you doing here?

    [grabs Tiger by the shoulder]

    Hando: I'm gonna tell you something.

    Hando: I want you to listen to me now, OK? This... is... not... your... country.

    [proceeds to beat him up]

  • Nguyen's Eldest Son: Tiger! Fuckin' skinheads! They got my brothers!

    Tiger: [yelling at Vietnamese factory workers] Get the guys! Get the guys! Skinheads!

  • Youngest Son: Tiger! Fuckin' skinheads! They got my brothers!

    Tiger: [yelling at Vietnamese factory workers] Get the guys! Get the guys! Skinheads!

  • [first lines]

    Max: [in phone booth] Ted! Are you home? Ted! Are you there Ted? It's Max and Tiger on the prowl. Ya home? You out drinking, you waste product? What, are you screening your calls? Ted. Ted. Ted!

    Tiger: I'm going.

    Max: No wait, hold it! Hold it! Hold it! One more. Just. Just. Just stay.

  • Cliff: You don't seem like the princess bed type to me.

    Tiger: Bad marriage. She took our daughter.

  • Tiger: How are we going to involve a serial killer in the creative process?

  • Nikki Randall: Splice it together with what you already have. And then you can tell this guy of yours that you not only have the Costume Killer, but you managed to keep him from killing victim number six.

    Tiger: But we could never do that.

    Nikki Randall: I could. I've got all the editing equipment you need to use at school.

  • Tiger: [loudly] Bye Mrs. Koerner.

    Martha: [softly] Bye you little jerk.

  • Tiger: I'm supposed to kill you.

    Joe: I don't care about that.

  • Tiger: I'll kill him, and we'll be best friends again.

  • Tiger: So who did shoot J.R.?

  • Joe: Oh my God, how long can you get sent away for attempted armed robbery?

    Tiger: Not long, 6 to 12.

    Chris: Years?

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