Tiffani Quotes in Eating Out (2004)
Tiffani Quotes:
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Caleb Peterson: I think you turned me gay.
Tiffani: I did not "turn you gay!" How could you say that?
Caleb Peterson: I mean, don't take it personally.
Tiffani: I am a person! How else am I supposed to take it?
-- Tiffani -
Gwen Anderson: [to Caleb's parents] You know, you guys seem really nice.
Marc: Oh, my God. Gwen, don't.
Gwen Anderson: Caleb, honey, I'm gonna do you a really big favor.
Kyle: Oh, shit.
Gwen Anderson: You'll hate me now but you'll love me later.
Marc: Gwen, please.
Kyle: Shit.
Gwen Anderson: Mr. and Mrs. Peterson, your son is gay.
Jamie Peterson: [punching Caleb's arm] Fag, you're it!
Tiffani: I turned him gay, but I can turn him back.
Jamie Peterson: No fag-backs.
-- Tiffani -
Tiffani: My titties didn't "occur" to you? Look at them, Caleb! They occur to every man I meet, but not you!
-- Tiffani -
[Tiffani stands in the doorway]
Tiffani: I hear you have phone trouble, Miss Thing.
Kyle: That's Mister Miss Thing to you.
Caleb Peterson: Tiffani?
Tiffani: You little hose huffer!
Frank Peterson: Why don't you come join us?
Tiffani: Gomez, Morticia, and little Wednesday.
-- Tiffani -
Caleb Peterson: I waited twenty-four days to have sex with you.
Tiffani: Well, I didn't want to seem like a slut!
-- Tiffani -
[while sketching Troy in class]
Tiffani: [drooling] I wanna hit that harder than Ike hit Tina.
Kyle: [ditto] I wanna be wrapped in his arms forever and ever.
Gwen Anderson: I wanna see him get it on with his boyfriend.
Kyle: You think he's gay?
Gwen Anderson: Does Whitney want crack?
-- Tiffani -
Tiffani: [about whether Troy is straight or gay] He's an enigma, fucking a riddle, fucking a mystery.
-- Tiffani -
[Troy drops his robe, ready to model nude for art class]
Troy: [to Mr. Thompson] So, uh, w-where do you want me?
Tiffani: [almost to herself] On my face!
Neil: [to Troy, nervously] D-Right here on my desk and, uh, we'll get you in, um, several different positions.
Kyle: [almost to himself] Missionary, reverse-cowgirl, sixty-nine...
-- Tiffani -
Tiffani: Be proud, bi-boy!
-- Tiffani -
Tiffani: I just... I just want to hear "I love you" instead of "Take it, you tight, little snatch."
-- Tiffani -
Tiffani: Okay, just because we used to date the same loser doesn't mean we have to be all cunty to each other.
-- Tiffani -
Tiffani: [keenly observant] You haven't fucked him yet.
Marc: Hey, I don't treat people like pieces of meat.
Tiffani: Well, you should. It's fun.
-- Tiffani -
Kyle: This is war! Marc is gonna rue the day he ever messed with me!
Tiffani: Wow, you almost seem like a top!
-- Tiffani -
Tiffani: Oh, hi, yummy. I'm Tiffany.
Octavio: The rhinoceros?
-- Tiffani -
Tiffani: Now, I have a very loose throat, which is important in acting to get the good roles, if you know what I mean. No, I'm kidding. The only thing sucking off a casting director is gonna get you is a trip to the free clinic. I mean, if it worked, Brittany Murphy and I would star in everything.
Genevieve: Brittany Murphy is dead.
Tiffani: Really? That's hilarious. Girl knew how to suck a dick. She was like... the cock whisperer. All right, now everyone find a throat partner.
-- Tiffani
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