Tiffani Quotes in Eating Out (2004)

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Tiffani Quotes:

  • Caleb Peterson: I think you turned me gay.

    Tiffani: I did not "turn you gay!" How could you say that?

    Caleb Peterson: I mean, don't take it personally.

    Tiffani: I am a person! How else am I supposed to take it?

  • Gwen Anderson: [to Caleb's parents] You know, you guys seem really nice.

    Marc: Oh, my God. Gwen, don't.

    Gwen Anderson: Caleb, honey, I'm gonna do you a really big favor.

    Kyle: Oh, shit.

    Gwen Anderson: You'll hate me now but you'll love me later.

    Marc: Gwen, please.

    Kyle: Shit.

    Gwen Anderson: Mr. and Mrs. Peterson, your son is gay.

    Jamie Peterson: [punching Caleb's arm] Fag, you're it!

    Tiffani: I turned him gay, but I can turn him back.

    Jamie Peterson: No fag-backs.

  • Tiffani: My titties didn't "occur" to you? Look at them, Caleb! They occur to every man I meet, but not you!

  • [Tiffani stands in the doorway]

    Tiffani: I hear you have phone trouble, Miss Thing.

    Kyle: That's Mister Miss Thing to you.

    Caleb Peterson: Tiffani?

    Tiffani: You little hose huffer!

    Frank Peterson: Why don't you come join us?

    Tiffani: Gomez, Morticia, and little Wednesday.

  • Caleb Peterson: I waited twenty-four days to have sex with you.

    Tiffani: Well, I didn't want to seem like a slut!

  • [while sketching Troy in class]

    Tiffani: [drooling] I wanna hit that harder than Ike hit Tina.

    Kyle: [ditto] I wanna be wrapped in his arms forever and ever.

    Gwen Anderson: I wanna see him get it on with his boyfriend.

    Kyle: You think he's gay?

    Gwen Anderson: Does Whitney want crack?

  • Tiffani: [about whether Troy is straight or gay] He's an enigma, fucking a riddle, fucking a mystery.

  • [Troy drops his robe, ready to model nude for art class]

    Troy: [to Mr. Thompson] So, uh, w-where do you want me?

    Tiffani: [almost to herself] On my face!

    Neil: [to Troy, nervously] D-Right here on my desk and, uh, we'll get you in, um, several different positions.

    Kyle: [almost to himself] Missionary, reverse-cowgirl, sixty-nine...

  • Tiffani: Be proud, bi-boy!

  • Tiffani: I just... I just want to hear "I love you" instead of "Take it, you tight, little snatch."

  • Tiffani: Okay, just because we used to date the same loser doesn't mean we have to be all cunty to each other.

  • Tiffani: [keenly observant] You haven't fucked him yet.

    Marc: Hey, I don't treat people like pieces of meat.

    Tiffani: Well, you should. It's fun.

  • Kyle: This is war! Marc is gonna rue the day he ever messed with me!

    Tiffani: Wow, you almost seem like a top!

  • Tiffani: Oh, hi, yummy. I'm Tiffany.

    Octavio: The rhinoceros?

  • Tiffani: Now, I have a very loose throat, which is important in acting to get the good roles, if you know what I mean. No, I'm kidding. The only thing sucking off a casting director is gonna get you is a trip to the free clinic. I mean, if it worked, Brittany Murphy and I would star in everything.

    Genevieve: Brittany Murphy is dead.

    Tiffani: Really? That's hilarious. Girl knew how to suck a dick. She was like... the cock whisperer. All right, now everyone find a throat partner.

Browse more character quotes from Eating Out (2004)

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