Ticket Taker Quotes in South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (1999)
Ticket Taker Quotes:
[the boys have just watched an edited version of "Asses of Fire" and are leaving the theater with the other kids, past the ticket booth again]
Kyle: Man, this movie gets better every time I see it!
Ticket Taker: Hey!
Cartman: Yeah, but you know what? That whole part about lighting farts is bullshit. You can't do that.
Kenny McCormick: [muffled] Yeah, you can!
Cartman: [stops and turns] No way.
Kenny McCormick: [muffled] Yes you can. You can *too* light a fart on fire.
Cartman: Okay, Kenny. I'll bet you a hundred dollars you can't light a fart on fire.
Kenny McCormick: [muffled] Yes you can. Check it out.
[he lights his fart on fire and laughs; his parka suddenly erupts in flames and he screams in horror; the boys are shocked]
Stan: Holy shit, dude!
Cartman: Ah! Oh my God! Hey!
[begins beating Kenny with a stick]
Cartman: Aw, shit! Aw, shit!
Stan: [steps forward and yells] Help! Somebody do something!
[he steps back and the stick lights up]
Cartman: Aahh! This stick is on fire!
[an ambulance rushes up and stops, but a Russell's Salt truck rushes up and bumps it away; the truck bed lifts up at the front end and dumps the salt on Kenny; if the fire was injury, this is insult]
Kenny McCormick: [muffled] Ooowww!
[the ambulance siren dies and the salt doesn't move; the boys stare at the truck]
Stan: Oh my God, you killed Kenny!
Kyle: You bastard!
Cartman: Wow, I guess you *can* light a fart on fire, huh?
Ticket Taker: Hey wait a minute, where is your guardian?
Ticket Taker: I knew it! You paid a homeless guy to get you in. Didn't you?
Cartman: Fuck off, you donkey-raping shit eater.
[all hyped and ready after singing a song]
Stan: Can I have FIVE tickets to Terence Phillip: Asses on Fire, please?
Ticket Taker: No!
Stan: What do you mean no?
Ticket Taker: Terrance and Philip: Asses of Fire has been rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America, you have to be accompanied by a parent or guardian.
Stan: But why?
Ticket Taker: Because this movie has naughty language! Next please.
Tommy Spinelli: I need a flight to Bethesda University.
Ticket Taker: I'm not sure the university has its own airport but we can fly you to Baltimore, will that do?
Tommy Spinelli: Hey don't get cute with me, asshole, huh?
Browse more character quotes from South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (1999)
Characters on South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (1999)
- Mr. Garrison
- Mrs. Cartman
- Sheila Broflovski
- Dr. Doctor
- American Representative
- Canadian Representative
- Dr. Vosknocker
- Terrance, Phillip
- Kenny McCormick
- Brian Dennehy
- Bill Gates
- Mr. Mackey
- Big Gay Al
- The Mole
- Eric Cartman
- Canadian Ambassador
- Jimbo Kearn
- Ned Gerblanski
- Billy Baldwin
- Stan Marsh
- George Burns
- Sheila Broslofski
- Voice on Radio
- Woman in Theatre
- Man in Theatre
- Man in Chorus
- Wendy Testeberger
- Sharon Marsh
- Ike Broflovski
- Winona Ryder