Tick Quotes in Strange Days (1995)

Tick: One man's mundane and desperate existence is another man's Technicolor.

[first lines]

Tick: you ready?

Lenny Nero: Yeah, boot it.

Tick: [to Felicia] Is it true when you were born the doctor turned around and slapped your mother?

Bernadette: No, I'll join this conversation on the proviso that we stop bitching about people, talking about wigs, dresses, bust sizes, penises, drugs, night clubs, and bloody Abba!

Tick: Doesn't give us much to talk about then, does it?

Tick: [Tick and Bernadette are discussing what it would be like to have children] What happens if they turn out like Adam?

Bernadette: You stuff 'em back in and ask for a refund.

Felicia: I mean who is the fish that runs this bloody hotel in the middle of nowhere, anyway? Your mother?

Tick: No, my wife.

Felicia: Ooh, don't tell me you've got an ex-boyfriend tucked away out here somewhere.

Tick: No, my wife! I'm married.

[the bus brakes screech and glass shatters]

Tick: Oh, fuck!

Tick: [to Felicia] Night, John Boy.

Felicia: There goes the transsexual, last seen heading south. We called her Bernie, but her real name was...

Tick: Adam?

Aboriginal Man: So... You actually make money by dressing up like a woman?

Tick: Oh, sure. You can make a fine living in a pair of heels.

[after their bus breaks down in the middle of the outback]

Tick: What's happening?

Felicia: Um, I don't know.

Bernadette: Oh, my God! Oh, Felicia. Where the Fuckawei?

Tick: What do you assume I do? Lie?

Marion: Assumption, my dear Mitz, is the mother of all fuck-ups.

Felicia: [after showing him the bus he had bought for their trip] Ta-da! What do you think?

Tick: When do we have to return it to the school?

Doctor: Mr. Belrose?

Tick: Yes?

Doctor: Congratulations. It's a boy.

Bernadette: Tony, Adam. This is Mr. and Mrs. Spencer.

Tick: Hello.

Felicia: Hello.

[the car drives off leaving them stranded]

Felicia: No, wait. Stop! Shit!.

Tick: [to Felicia and Bernadette] Aren't we fabulous?

Tick: [to Bernadette] I've um... been asked to do a show out of town.

Bernadette: How long is the run?

Tick: Four weeks. Equity minimum, two shows a night, accommodation included.

[last lines]

Tick: No that's enough. Oh, my tits are falling down.

[explosions]

Tick: Jesus! Thank you! Thank you, it's good to be home!

Tick: Well, listen to this one. After we did the ABBA show, Kevin had one of those liposuction penis enlargements.

Felicia: He didn't?

Tick: Yep. Do you know what they do? They siphon all the fat out of your love handles, and actually inject it into your wing-wang.

Felicia: Ugh! Yucky! I suppose it gives a whole new meaning to "cracking a fat", though, doesn't it?

[laughs]

Felicia: Who taught you to waltz?

Tick: My wife.

Felicia: Oh, how sweet.

Felicia: [after Tick passes out] Come on, snap out of it. You'll be fine. Come on, love.

Tick: [coming to] Oh...

Bob: That's it, mate. You scared us all for a minute.

Felicia: Just had to have that extra bit of attention, didn't you? Nice one, lovey. Nice one.

Tick: [to Felicia] What sort of bent-childhood... did you have, Adam Whitely?

Tick: [to Bernadette] Look, you're not helping, here. Just eat your hormones.

Tick: [to Felicia and Bernadette] I think we just crashed a party.

Tick: [to Felicia] You stupid bloody idiot! Drugs, for Christ's sake! Well, three cheers for you! I hope you're bloody well happy now! You bloody fuck wit!

Tick: [to Bob] Well, are we bunny-hopping all the way to Alice?