Thor Quotes in Thor: Ragnarok (2017)

Grandmaster: [from trailer] It's main event time. And now, I give you your Incredible...

[the Hulk bursts through the stadium door]

Thor: YES!

[everyone in the stadium looks confused]

Thor: We know each other. He's a friend from work.

[the Hulk glares at Thor]

Thor: Oh, come on.

[Thor is thrown into Muspelheim in chains]

Thor: I know what you're thinking: how did this happen? Well, it's a long story...

Thor: [sees residents of Sakaar] Hi there...

[they put him in a net]

Thor: [sees the Guardians for the first time] Who the hell are you?

Thor: So Earth has wizards now, huh?

Dr. Stephen Strange: Tea?

Thor: I don't drink tea.

Dr. Stephen Strange: What do you drink?

Thor: Not tea.

[Strange uses his powers to transform the teacup Thor is holding into a stein of beer]

Dr. Stephen Strange: So, I keep a watch list of individuals and beings from other realms that may be a threat to this world. Your adopted brother, Loki, is one of those beings.

Thor: Worthy inclusion.

Dr. Stephen Strange: Yeah. So... why bring him here to New York?

Thor: It's a bit of a long story. Family drama, that kind of thing. But, we're looking for my father.

Dr. Stephen Strange: Oh, okay. So if you found Odin, you'd all return to Asgard promptly?

Thor: Oh, yes. Promptly.

Dr. Stephen Strange: Great. Allow me to help you.

Natasha Romanoff: Thor, report on the Hulk.

Thor: The gates of Hel are filled with the screams of his victims!

[Natasha glares at him while Bruce groans and puts his head in his hands]

Thor: But not the screams of the dead, of course. No, no... wounded screams... mainly whimpering, a great deal of complaining and tales of sprained deltoids and... gout.

[Tony tries to lift the Mjölnir]

Tony Stark: If I lift it, do I get to rule Asgard?

Thor: Yes, of course.

Tony Stark: I will be fair, but firmly cruel.

Thor: No, I'm sure.

Thor: The girl tried to warp my brain! Take special care, I doubt if humans can keep her at bay! Fortunately, I am mighty...

[enters a vision]

Thor: [about The Vision] If he can wield the Hammer, he can keep the Stone.

[after fighting off Ultron drones]

Thor: IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO?

[Ultron laughs, and summons more drones]

Steve Rogers: You had to ask...

Ultron: [With his arms outstretched] THIS is the best I can do. This is what I've been waiting for. All of you against all of me!

[Battle ensues]

Thor: [about Asgardian mead] It is not meant for mortal men.

Stan Lee: Neither was Omaha Beach, blondie! Stop trying to scare us, come on!

Thor: All right.

[pours a glass for Lee - cut to Lee being carried off in a daze]

Stan Lee: Excelsior...

Thor: No one has to break anything.

Ultron, Tony Stark: Clearly you've never made an omelet.

Tony Stark: He beat me by one second.

[about Thor's hammer, Mjölnir]

Clint Barton: [drunk] "Whosoever, be he worthy, shall have the power", whatever man! It's a trick!

Thor: It is more than that, my friend!

Thor: [sees Thor laugh] You think this is funny? This could have been avoided if you hadn't played with something you don't understand...

Tony Stark: I'm sorry... I think it's funny, I think it's a hoot that YOU don't get why we need this!

Bruce Banner: Tony, maybe this might not be the time...

Tony Stark: Really? That's it? You just roll over and show your belly, every time somebody snarls?

Bruce Banner: Only when I've created a murder-bot!

Tony Stark: We didn't, we weren't even close! Were we close to an interface?

Steve Rogers: Well, you did something right, and you did it right here!

Ultron: [Loud ringing noise fades into Ultron's voice] ... worthy... No... How could you be worthy? Your all killers.

Steve Rogers: Stark.

Tony Stark: JARVIS.

Ultron: Sorry I was asleep... Or... I was a dream...

Tony Stark: [Tapping his phone] Reboot, we got a buggy suit.

Ultron: ...There was a terrible noise... And I was tangled in... in... strings... I had to kill the other guy... He was a good guy.

Steve Rogers: You killed someone?

Ultron: Wouldn't have been my first call. But, down in the real world we're faced with ugly choices.

Thor: Who sent you?

Ultron: [Replaying Tony's voice] "I see a suit of armour around the world".

Bruce Banner: Ultron!

Ultron: In the flesh. Or, no, not yet. Not this... chrysalis... But I'm ready. I'm on a mission.

Natasha Romanoff: What mission?

Ultron: Peace in our time.

Thor: [comes to Selvig for help] This may be dangerous...

Erik Selvig: I would be disappointed if it wasn't.

Ultron: [Thor has dropped Mjolnir while fighting Ultron, who is presently choking him] You think you're saving anyone? I turn that key and drop this rock a little early, and it's still billions dead. Even you can't stop that.

Thor: I am Thor, son of Odin. As long as there is life in my breast...

[He's losing oxygen]

Thor: I am running out of things to say. Are you ready?

[Looks past Ultron, and Ultron turns to see why]

Vision: [the Vision hits Ultron away with Mjolnir and returns it to Thor] It's terribly well balanced.

Thor: Well, if there's too much weight, you lose power on the swing.

Thor: [Regarding creating Vision] Stark is right.

Bruce Banner: Ooh, it's definitely the end times.

James Rhodes: [to Stark] So, no Pepper? She's not coming?

Tony Stark: No.

Maria Hill: [to Thor] What about Jane? Where are the ladies. gentlemen?

Tony Stark: Oh, Ms. Potts has a company to run.

Thor: Yes, I'm not even sure what country Jane's in. Her work on the Convergence has made her the world's most foremost astronomer.

Tony Stark: And the company that Pepper runs is the largest tech conglomerate on Earth. It's pretty exciting.

Thor: There's even talk of Jane getting a, um,

[pause]

Thor: Nobel Prize.

Maria Hill: Yeah, they must be pretty busy, because they'd hate missing you guys get together.

[coughs]

Maria Hill: Testosterone!

James Rhodes: Oh, my goodness.

Maria Hill: Excuse me.

Thor: Want a lozenge?

Maria Hill: Mm-hmm.

[Hill and Rhodey walk away, Stark and Thor both grin]

Thor: [to Tony] Jane's better.

Thor: If you believe in peace, then let us keep it.

Ultron: I think you're confusing 'peace' with 'quiet'.

Thor: [about Stark] With the exception of this one, everything can be explained.

Tony Stark: Alright then,so if I lift it, I then rule all Asgard?

Thor: Yes, of course.

Tony Stark: I will be re-instituting Prima Noctae.

James Rhodes: But, you know, the suit can take the weight, right? So I take the tank, drop it right off at the general's palace, drop it at his feet. I'm, like, "Boom. Are you looking for this?"

[Tony and Thor don't laugh]

James Rhodes: "Boom. Are you looking for..." Why do I even talk to you guys? Everyone else, that story kills.

Thor: That's the whole story?

James Rhodes: Yeah, it's a War Machine story.

Thor: Oh, it's very good, then. It's impressive.

Thor: [possessed] The stone draws you all to its brilliance, and you to your end!

Announcer: [the Avengers are in the process of infiltrating a HYDRA base in Sovokia] Report to your stations immediately. This is not a drill. We are under attack. We are under attack.

Tony Stark: [Tony hits the shield around the base] Shit!

Steve Rogers: Language! Jarvis, what's the view from upstairs?

Jarvis: The central building is protected by some kind of energy shield. Strucker's technology is well beyond any other Hydra base we've taken.

Thor: Loki's scepter must be here. Strucker couldn't mount this defense without it. At long last.

Natasha Romanoff: [Natasha knocks out some soldiers] At long last is lasting a little long, boys.

Clint Barton: [as some soldiers shoot at Clint] Yeah. I think we lost the element of surprise.

Tony Stark: Wait a second. No one else is going to deal with the fact that Cap just said "language?"

Steve Rogers: I know.

Steve Rogers: [Steve throws his bike at some soldiers driving up in their truck] It just slipped out.

Ultron: Stark is a sickness!

Tony Stark: Oh Junior, you are gonna break your old man's heart

Ultron: If I have to...

Thor: Nobody has to break anything

Ultron: Clearly you have never made an omelette

Thor: [after defeating a wave of Ultron drones] Is that the best you can do?

Steve Rogers: [Ultron summons the rest of his drones to fight] You had to ask.

Ultron: *This* is the best *I* can do.

Clint Barton: Gentleman, this is Laura.

Laura: I know all your names.

[All look at her awkwardly]

Clint Barton: Ooh, incoming.

[Clint's son and daughter run in]

Lila Barton: Dad!

Clint Barton: [Clint picks up his daughter] I see her!

Clint Barton: [Kissing the top his son's head] Hey, buddy! How you guys doing? Ooh...

Thor: These are... smaller agents.

Clint Barton: Look at your face! Oh, my goodness!

Steve Rogers: [Avengers go through the physical files they have on Strucker] Known associates. Well, Strucker had a lot of friends.

Bruce Banner: Well, these people are all horrible.

Tony Stark: [Banner passes him the photo he was looking at] Wait. I know that guy.

Tony Stark: From back in the day. He operates off the African coast, black market arms.

Tony Stark: [Steve gives him a accusing look] There are conventions, alright? You meet people, I didn't sell him anything.

[we see the photo is of a man named Ulysses Klaue]

Tony Stark: He was talking about finding something new, a game changer, it was all very "Ahab."

Thor: [Thor points to the scar on the back of Klaue's neck] This.

Tony Stark: Uh, it's a tattoo. I don't think he had it...

Thor: No, those are tattoos, this is a brand.

Bruce Banner: [Banner identifies the brand on Klaue's neck on the computer] Oh, yeah. It's a word in an African dialect meaning thief, in a much less friendly way.

Steve Rogers: What dialect?

Bruce Banner: Wakanada...? Wa... Wa... Wakanda.

Tony Stark: If this guy got out of Wakanda with some of their trade goods...

Steve Rogers: I thought your father said he got the last of it.

Bruce Banner: I don't follow. What comes out of Wakanda?

Tony Stark: [Looking at Steve's shield] The strongest metal in Earth.

Steve Rogers: [to Tony] Where is this guy now?

Party Guest: [Steve and Thor are having a drink amongst a few old men at the party] I gotta have some of that!

Thor: Oh, no, no, no. See this, this was aged for a thousand years, in the barrels built from the wreck of Brunhilde's fleet, it's not meant for mortal men.

[Thor pours the drink into two glasses and hands one to Steve]

Stan Lee: Neither was Omaha Beach, blondie. Stop trying to scare us. Come on.

Thor: [Thor looks at Steve, who shrugs] Alright.

[Thor pours some of the drink into the Stan Lee's glass]

Stan Lee: [Later Stan, looking extremely drunk is being carried off by two men] Excelsior.

[None of the Avengers can lift the Mjölnir, but Captain America moves it slightly]

Tony Stark: It's biometrics, right? Like a security code? "Whoever is carrying Thor's fingerprints" is, I think, the literal translation.

Thor: Yes, well that's a very, very interesting theory. I have a simpler one: You are not worthy.

[an attack occurs]

Ultron: [enters] Worthy? How could you be worthy? You're all killers. You want to protect the world, but you don't want it to change. There's only one path to peace... your extinction.

Steve Rogers: Thor, what's his play?

Thor: He has an army, called the Chitauri. They're not of Asgard or any world known. He means to lead them against your people. They will win him the Earth. In return, I suspect, for the Tesseract.

Steve Rogers: An army. From outer space.

Bruce Banner: So he's building another portal. That's what he needs Erik Selvig for.

Thor: Selvig?

Bruce Banner: He's an astrophysicist.

Thor: He's a friend.

Natasha Romanoff: Loki has them under some kind of spell. Along with one of ours.

Steve Rogers: I wanna know why Loki let us take him. He's not leading an army from here.

Bruce Banner: I don't think we should be focusing on Loki. That guy's brain is a bag full of cats. You can smell crazy on him.

Thor: Have a care how you speak! Loki is beyond reason, but he is of Asgard and he is my brother!

Natasha Romanoff: He killed eighty people in two days.

Thor: He's adopted.

Thor: Where is the Tesseract?

Loki: [laughs] I missed you too.

Thor: Do I look to be in a gaming mood?

Loki: Oh, you should thank me. With the Bifrost gone, how much dark energy did the Allfather have to muster to conjure you here, your precious Earth?

Thor: I thought you dead.

Loki: Did you mourn?

Thor: We all did. Our father...

Loki: YOUR father! He DID tell you my true parentage, did he not?

Thor: We were raised together, we played together, we fought together. Do you remember none of that?

Loki: I remember a shadow, living in the shade of your greatness. I remember you tossing me into an abyss, I who was and should be king!

Thor: So you take the world I love as recompense for your imagined slights? No, the Earth is under MY protection, Loki!

Loki: [laughs] And you're doing a marvelous job with that! The humans slaughter each other in droves, while you ideally threat. I mean to rule them. And why should I not?

Thor: You think yourself above them?

Loki: Well, yes.

Thor: Then you miss the truth of ruling, brother. A throne would suit you ill.

Loki: I've seen worlds you've never known about! I have grown, Odin's Son, in my exile! I have seen the true power of the Tesseract, and when I wield it...

Thor: Who showed you this power? Who controls the would-be-king?

Loki: I AM a king!

Thor: Not here! You give up the Tesseract! You give up this pointless dream!... You come home.

[pause]

Loki: ...I don't have it.

[Thor threatens Loki with his hammer]

Loki: You need the cube to bring me home, but I've sent it off, I know not where.

Thor: You listen well, brother. I...

[Thor is knocked off the mountain by Iron Man who tackles him in mid-flight]

Loki: I'm listening.

Thor: Do not touch me again!

Tony Stark: Then don't take my stuff.

Thor: You have no idea what you are dealing with.

Tony Stark: Uh, Shakespeare in The Park? Doth mother know you weareth her drapes?

Thor: This is beyond you, metal man. Loki will face Asgardian justice.

Tony Stark: He gives up the Cube, he's all yours. Until then, stay out of the way, tourist.

Steve Rogers: Does Loki need any particular kind of power source?

Bruce Banner: He'd have to heat the cube to a hundred and twenty million Kelvin just to break through the Coulomb barrier.

Tony Stark: Unless Selvig has figured out how to stabilize the quantum tunnelling effect.

Bruce Banner: Well, if he could do that, he could achieve heavy ion fusion at any reactor on the planet.

Tony Stark: Finally, someone who speaks English.

Steve Rogers: Is that what just happened?

[Stark and Banner shake hands]

Tony Stark: It's good to meet you, Dr. Banner. Your work on anti-electron collisions is unparalleled. And I'm a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster.

Bruce Banner: Thanks.

Nick Fury: [to Stark] Dr. Banner is only here to track the cube. I was hoping you might join him.

Steve Rogers: Let's start with that stick of his. It may be magical, but it works an awful lot like a Hydra weapon.

Nick Fury: I don't know about that, but it is powered by the cube. And I'd like to know how Loki used it to turn two of the sharpest men I know into his personal flying monkeys.

Thor: Monkeys? I do not understand.

Steve Rogers: I do!

[Stark rolls his eyes, while Captain America looks proud of himself]

Steve Rogers: I understood that reference.

Nick Fury: You think you could make Loki tell us where the Tesseract is?

Thor: I do not know. Loki's mind is far afield. It's not just power he craves, it's vengeance, upon me. There's no pain would prise his need from him.

Nick Fury: A lot of guys think that. Until the pain starts.

Thor: What are you asking me to do?

Nick Fury: I'm asking, what are you prepared to do?

Thor: Loki is a prisoner.

Nick Fury: Then why do I feel like he's the only person on this boat that wants to be here?

Thor: I thought humans were more evolved than this.

Nick Fury: Excuse me, did WE come to YOUR planet and blow stuff up?

Thor: I have unfinished business with Loki.

Clint Barton: Yeah? Get in line.

Thor: You people are so petty... and tiny.

[Captain America throws his shield between Iron Man and Thor, stopping their fight in the woods]

Steve Rogers: Hey! That's enough!

[Captain America looks at Thor]

Steve Rogers: Now, I don't know what you plan on doing here.

Thor: I've come here to put and end to Loki's schemes!

Steve Rogers: Then prove it! Put the hammer down.

Tony Stark: Um, yeah, no! Bad call! He loves his hammer!

[Thor knocks Iron Man back with his hammer]

Thor: [to Cap] You want me to put the hammer down?

[Captain America ducks and holds up his shield as Thor leaps at him, blocking Thor's blow. The impact of the hammer on the vibranium shield creates a massive shockwave, knocking Thor off his feet]

Steve Rogers: Are we done here?

Thor: We on Asgard pretend that we are more advanced, but we, we come here battling like Bilgesnipe.

Agent Phil Coulson: Like what?

Thor: The Bilgesnipe, you know; huge, scaly, big antlers. You don't have those?

Agent Phil Coulson: Don't think so.

Thor: They are repulsive, and they trample everything in their path.

Thor: You speak of control, yet you court chaos.

Bruce Banner: It's his M.O., isn't it? I mean, what are we, a team? No, no, no. We're a chemical mixture that makes chaos. We're... we're a time-bomb.

Nick Fury: You need to step away.

Tony Stark: Why shouldn't the guy let off a little steam?

Steve Rogers: You know damn well why! Back off!

Tony Stark: Oh, I'm starting to want you to make me.

Thor: Your work with the Tesseract is what drew Loki to it... and his allies. It is a signal to the Realm that Earth is ready for a higher form of war!

Nick Fury: Higher form? You forced our hand! We had to come up with some way that we could...

Tony Stark: A nuclear deterrent? Cause that always works well...

Nick Fury: Remind me how you made your fortune, Mr Stark.

Bruce Banner: I'd like to know why SHIELD is using the Tesseract to build weapons of mass destruction.

Nick Fury: Because of him!

[points at Thor]

Thor: Me?

Nick Fury: Last year, Earth had a visit from another planet that had a grudge match that leveled a small town. We learned that only are we not alone, but we are hopelessly, hilariously outgunned.

Thor: My people want nothing but peace with your planet!

Nick Fury: But you're not the only ones out there, are you? And you're not the only threat. The world is filling up with people that can't be matched, that can't be controlled!

Steve Rogers: Like you control the cube?

[Thor has his arms wrapped around Hulk's right arm and he is trying to fight back the Hulk's attack]

Thor: We are not your enemies, Banner! Try to think!

[Hulk lifts his arm up, to Thor's surprise, and he sends him flying as he punches Thor's face with his left fist]

Thor: Loki, turn off the Tesseract or I will destroy it!

Loki: You can't! There's no stopping it. There is only the war!

Thor: So be it!

Maria Hill: Thor, what's his play?

Thor: He has an army, called the Chitauri. They're not of Asgard or any world known. He means to lead them against your people. They will win him the Earth. In return, I suspect, for the Tesseract.

Maria Hill: An army. From outer space.

Pepper Potts: So he's building another portal. That's what he needs Erik Selvig for.

Thor: Selvig?

Pepper Potts: He's an astrophysicist.

Thor: He's a friend.

Bruce Banner: Loki has them under some kind of spell. Along with one of ours.

Maria Hill: I wanna know why Loki let us take him. He's not leading an army from here.

Pepper Potts: I don't think we should be focusing on Loki. That guy's brain is a bag full of cats. You can smell crazy on him.

Thor: Take care how you speak. Loki is beyond reason, but he is of Asgard. And he is my brother.

Bruce Banner: He killed eighty people in two days.

Thor: He's adopted.

Thor: [taking coffee for the first time] This drink... I like it!

Darcy: I know, it's great right?

Thor: ANOTHER!

Thor: [throws the mug on the floor and shatters it]

Jane Foster: [to the lady behind the counter] Sorry, Izzie, little accident...

Jane Foster: [to Thor] What was that?

Thor: It was delicious! I want another!

Jane Foster: You could have just said so!

Thor: I just did!

Jane Foster: I mean ask nicely!

Thor: I meant no disrespect.

Jane Foster: Alright, no more smashing. Deal?

Thor: You have my word.

Thor: [walking into a pet shop] I need a horse!

Pet Store Clerk: We don't have horses. Just dogs, cats, birds.

Thor: Then give me one of those large enough to ride.

Odin: You are a vain, greedy, cruel boy!

Thor: And you are an old man and a fool!

Odin: Yes... I was a fool, to think you were ready.

Loki: Father...

Odin: [to Loki] FIE!

Odin: Thor Odinson... you have betrayed the express command of your king. Through your arrogance and stupidity, you've opened these peaceful realms and innocent lives to the horror and desolation of war! You are unworthy of these realms, you're unworthy of your title, you're unworthy... of the loved ones you have betrayed! I now take from you your power! In the name of my father and his father before, I, Odin Allfather, cast you out!

[last lines]

Thor: So Earth is lost to us...

Heimdall: No. There is always hope.

Thor: Can you see her?

Heimdall: [chuckles] Yes.

Thor: How is she?

Heimdall: She searches for you.

Thor: My friends, have you forgotten all that we have done together? Fandral, Hogun, who led you into the glorious of battles?

Hogun: You did.

Thor: And, Volstagg, who introduced you to delicacies so succulent you thought you'd died and gone to Valhalla?

Volstagg: [chuckles] You did.

Thor: And who proved wrong all who scoffed at the idea that a young maiden could be one of the fiercest warriors this realm has ever known?

Sif: I did!

Thor: True, but I supported you, Sif.

Thor: You know, I had it all backwards. I had it all wrong.

Erik Selvig: It's not a bad thing finding out that you don't have all the answers. You start asking the right questions.

Thor: For the first time in my life, I have no idea what I'm supposed to do.

Erik Selvig: Anyone who's ever going to find his way in this world, has to start by admitting he doesn't know...

Loki: [hanging from the edge of the Bifrost] I could have done it, Father! I could have done it! For you! For all of us!

Odin: No, Loki.

[Loki stares for a moment, then loosens his grip]

Thor: Loki, no... NO!

[Loki falls into a wormhole]

Thor: Loki, this is madness!

Loki: Is it madness? Is it? IS IT? I don't know what happened on Earth to make you so soft! Don't tell me it was that woman?... Oh, it was. Well maybe, when we're done here, I'll pay her a visit myself!

[Thor gets mad]

Thor: Why have you done this?

Loki: To prove to Father that I am a worthy son! When he wakes, I will have saved his life, I will have destroyed that race of monsters, and I will be true heir to the throne!

Thor: You can't kill an entire race!

Loki: Why not?... And what is this new found love for the Frost Giants? You, could have killed them all with your bare hands!

Thor: I've changed.

Loki: So have I. Now fight me!

[Thor approaches the Destroyer]

Thor: Brother, however I have wronged you, whatever I have done that has led you to do this, I am truly sorry. But these people are innocent, taking their lives will gain you nothing. So take mine, and end this.

[while interrogating Thor, Coulson steps out for a moment... ]

Thor: Loki. What are you doing here?

Loki: [as a SHIELD agent] I had to see you.

Thor: What's happened? Tell me, is it Jotunheim? Let me explain to Father...

Loki: Father is dead.

Thor: What?

Loki: Your banishment, the threat of a new war... it was too much for him to bear. You mustn't blame yourself. I know that you loved him. I tried to tell him so, but he wouldn't listen. It was so cruel to put the hammer within your reach knowing that you could never lift it. The burden of the throne has fallen to me now.

Thor: Can I come home?

Loki: The truce with Jotunheim is conditional upon your exile.

Thor: Yes, but... couldn't we find a way...?

Loki: And Mother has forbidden your return. This is goodbye, brother. I'm so sorry.

Thor: No. I am sorry. Thank you for coming here.

Loki: Farewell.

Thor: Goodbye.

[Loki leaves, just as Coulson returns]

Agent Coulson: [having heard Thor] "Goodbye?" I just got back.

[Thor brings a drunken Selvig home]

Jane Foster: What happened?

Thor: He's fine! We drank, we fought - he made his ancestors proud!

Jane Foster: Put him on the bed.

Erik Selvig: [to Thor] Oh, I still don't think you're the god of thunder. But you ought to be!

Odin: You'll be a wise king.

Thor: There will never be a wiser king than you. Or a better father. I have much to learn. I know that now. One day, perhaps, I will make you proud.

Odin: You've already made me proud.

Loki: Look at you. The mighty Thor! With all your strength! And what good does it do you now? Do you hear me, brother? There's nothing you can do!

[Thor smashes the Bifrost]

Loki: What are you doing? If you destroy the Bridge, you'll never see her again!

Thor: Forgive me, Jane!

Jane Foster: So is this how you normally look?

Thor: More or less.

Jane Foster: It's a good look!

King Laufey: The house of Odin is full of traitors...

Thor: Do not dishonor my father's name with your lies!

King Laufey: Your father is a murderer and a thief! And why have YOU come, to talk of peace? You long for battle, you crave it! You're nothing more than a boy trying to prove himself a man!

Thor: Be warned, this boy grows tired of your mockery!

[Jotuns surround the Asgardians]

Loki: Thor, stop and think. Look around you, we're outnumbered...

Thor: Know your place, brother!

King Laufey: You know not what your actions would unleash... I do. Go now, while I still allow it.

[Loki has to restrain Thor]

Loki: We will accept your most gracious offer. Come on, brother...

[Thor turns to leave]

Frost Giant Sentry: Run back home, little princess.

Loki: Damn...

[Thor smashes down the Sentry]

Thor: Next?

Thor: You think me strange?

Jane Foster: Yes.

Thor: Good strange, or bad strange?

Jane Foster: I'm not sure yet...

Agent Coulson: Donald? I don't think you've been completely honest with me.

Thor: Know this, son of Coul. You and I, we fight for the same cause: the protection of this world. From this day forward, you can count me in as your ally, if... you return the items you have taken from Jane.

Jane Foster: Stolen.

Agent Coulson: Borrowed. Of course you can have your equipment back. You're going to need to need it to continue your research.

Thor: Would you like to see the bridge we spoke of?

Jane Foster: Uh... sure.

[grabs Jane, flies off]

Agent Coulson: Wait, we need to debrief you!

Thor: This mortal form has grown weak. I need sustenance!

Thor: [fighting hospital interns] You are no match for the mighty...

[an intern jabs a syringe into his butt, he passes out instantly]

Thor: Why don't you tell her? How you sent the Destroyer to kill our friends, to kill me!

Frigga: What?

Loki: Well, I must have been enforcing father's last command.

Thor: You're a talented liar, brother. Always have been.

Loki: It's good to have you back. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to destroy Jotunheim!

Thor: [to a doctor who put an IV on him] How dare you attack the son of Odin!

[Thor is knocked down by a gargantuan SHIELD agent]

Thor: You're big. I've fought bigger.

[Loki appears in front of a fuming Thor]

Thor: It's unwise to be in my company right now, brother. Today was to be my day of triumph!

Loki: It'll come, in time. If it's any consolation, I think you're right. About the Frost Giants, about Laufey, about everything. If they were able to slip past Asgard's defenses once, who's to say they won't try again? Next time with an army.

Thor: Exactly!

Loki: There's nothing you can do without defying Father.

[Thor looks at Loki]

Loki: No! No, no, no, no! I know that look!

Thor: It's the only way to ensure the safety of our borders!

Loki: Thor, it's madness!

Thor: Hammer! Hammer!

Darcy: Yeah, we can tell you're hammered.

[from trailer]

Jane Foster: Describe exactly what happened to you last night.

Thor: Your ancestors called it magic...

[Thor skims through a book on Norse mythology]

Thor: ...but you call it science. I come from a land where they are one and the same.

Thor: You! What realm is this? Elfheim, Nilfheim?

Darcy: [frightened, pulls out a taser] New Mexico?

Thor: You dare threaten Thor with such a puny weapon...?

[Darcy tasers him]

Darcy: [to Jane] What? He was freaking me out!

Thor: Sif, you've done all you could.

Sif: [wounded from fighting the Destroyer] NO! I'll die a warrior's death! Stories will be told of this day!

Thor: Live, and tell those stories yourself!

[struck by the Destroyer]

Thor: [near death, to Jane] It's all right, it's over... You're safe...

Thor: I will not fight you, brother!

Loki: I'm not your brother! I never was!

[Thor, Loki, Sif and the Warriors Three meet Heimdall]

Loki: Leave this to me. Gatekeeper, we seek...

Heimdall: You're not dressed warmly enough.

Loki: I'm sorry?

Heimdall: You think you can deceive me.

Loki: You must be mistaken...

Thor: Enough! Heimdall, may we pass?

Heimdall: NEVER has an enemy escaped my watch until this day. I want to know how it happened.

Thor: And tell no one where we have gone until we return. Understand?

Volstagg: [to Loki] What's the matter, silver tongue turned to lead?

Thor: My friends, I've never been happier to see you! But you should not have come.

Fandral: We've here to bring you home!

Thor: You know I can't come home. My father is... is dead, and I must remain in exile.

Sif: Thor, your father still lives!

[about the burglary]

Thor: The Jotuns must pay for what they have done!

Odin: They have paid, with their lives. The Destroyer did its work, the Casket is safe, and all is well.

Thor: All is well? They broke into the weapons vault! If the Frost Giants have stolen even one of these relics...

Odin: They didn't.

Thor: Well I want to know why!

Odin: I have a truce with Laufey, king of the Jotuns.

Thor: He just broke your truce! They know you are vulnerable!

Odin: What action would you take?

Thor: March into Jotunheim as you once did! Teach them a lesson! Break their spirits, so they would never dare try to cross our borders again!

Odin: You're thinking only as a warrior.

Thor: This was an act of war!

Odin: It was the act of but a few, doomed to fail.

Thor: Look how far they got!

Odin: We will find the breach in our defenses and it will be sealed.

Thor: As king of Asgard...!

Odin: BUT YOU'RE NOT KING! Not yet.

Thor: Why did you bring us back?

Odin: Do you realize what you've done, what you've started?

Thor: I was protecting my throne!

Odin: You cannot even defend your friends! How can you hope to protect the kingdom?

Thor: How do I look?

Loki: Like a king.

[Loki's clones surround Thor]

Thor: ENOUGH!

[strikes Mjolnir and sends the real Loki tumbling]

[from trailer]

Thor: For the first time in my life, I have no idea what I'm supposed to do...

Thor: Once I retrieve Mjolnir, I will return to you the items they stole from you. Deal?

Jane Foster: No. You think you're gonna just walk in and walk out ?

Thor: No. I'm gonna fly out.

Thor: I would have words with my brother...

Thor: We're going to Jotunheim.

Fandral: What? This isn't like going to Earth, where you summon a little lightning and thunder and the mortals worship you as a god! This is Jotunheim!

Thor: You're very brave, for helping me.

Jane Foster: They stole my life's work, so I don't have much to lose.

Erik Selvig: [about Jane] I've seen the way she looks at you. If you hurt her...

Thor: I swear to you, I mean her no harm.

Thor: Jane, you have to get everybody out of here!

Jane Foster: What about you?

Volstagg: Thor's going to fight with us!

Thor: My friends, I am just a man. I'd only get in your way or worse get one of you killed. But you can help me get everyone to safety.

Jane Foster: Well, if you're staying, then so am I!

Thor: We'll need some time!

Fandral: You'll have it!

Thor: What you seek, it's a bridge.

Jane Foster: Like, like an Einstein-Rosen Bridge?

Thor: More like a Rainbow Bridge.

Jane Foster: God, I hope you're not crazy.

Thor: There won't be a kingdom to protect if you're afraid to act! The Jotuns must fear me, just as they once feared you!

Odin: Have you forgotten everything I taught you? A warrior's patient!

Thor: While you wait and be patient, the Nine Worlds laugh at us! The old ways are done, yet you stand and give speeches while Asgard falls!

Thor: Thank you, Jane.

Agent Coulson: Dr. Selvig, keep him away from the bars!

Thor: Where are we going?

Erik Selvig: To get a drink!

Thor: At least make it a challenge for me!

[More Frost Giants enter the fray and put up a harder fight]

Thor: That's more like it!

[Thor is smashing down Frost Giants]

Sif: Thor!

Loki: WE MUST GO!

Thor: Then go!

Thor: You must return to Asgard! You have to stop Loki!

Fandral: What about you?

Thor: Do not worry, my friends. I have a plan.

[everyone falls back, Thor walks towards the Destroyer]

[from trailer]

Thor: [waking up in the middle of nowhere] Oh, no... this is Earth... isn't it?

[from trailer]

Thor: [to Jane Foster] The answers you seek shall be yours, once I claim what is mine.

[from trailer]

Jane Foster: Who are you?

Thor: You'll know soon enough!

[from trailer]

Thor: [to Jane] I will return.

Thor: Heimdall, open the Bridge! Heimdall, we need you now!

[a wounded Heimdall collapses]

Thor: Get him to the Healing Room! Leave my brother to me.

[Thor wakes up strapped to a hospital bed]

Thor: It's not possible...

[in Jotunheim]

Sif: Where are they?

Thor: Hiding! As cowards always do!

Jane Foster: I am sorry, I cannot take you.

Thor: Then this is where we say goodbye! Jane Foster, Dr Selvig, Darcy: farewell.

Heimdall: Be warned, I shall uphold my sacred oath to protect this realm as its gatekeeper. If your return threatens the safety of Asgard, my gate will remain shut and you will be left to perish on the cold waste of Jotunheim.

Volstagg: Couldn't you just keep the bridge open for us?

Heimdall: Keeping the bridge open would unleash the full power of the Bifrost and destroy Jotunheim, with you on it.

Thor: I have no plans to die today.

Heimdall: None do.

[Odin appears in Jotunheim]

Thor: Father, we'll finish them together!

Odin: SILENCE!

[Thor and Loki commandeer a Harrow]

Loki: Look, why don't you let me take over? I'm clearly the better pilot!

Thor: Is that right? Out of the two of us, which one can ACTUALLY fly?

[the Harrow takes out a building]

Thor: Not a word...

Dr. Erik Selvig: Your brother isn't coming, is he?

Thor: Loki is dead.

Dr. Erik Selvig: Thank God... I'm so sorry.

Loki: [turns Thor into Sif] Mmm, brother, you look ravishing!

Thor: It will hurt no less when I kill you in this form.

Loki: Very well. Perhaps you prefer one of your new companions, given that you seem to like them so much.

[turns into Captain America]

Loki: Oh, this is much better. Costume's a bit much... so tight. But the confidence, I can feel the righteousness surging. Hey, you wanna have a rousing discussion about truth,honor, patriotism? God bless America...

Loki: [tries to steer the boat into a tiny crevice in the mountain wall] If it were easy, everyone would do it.

Thor: Are you mad?

Loki: Possibly.

[last lines]

Odin: One son who wanted the throne too much, and other who will not take it. Is this my legacy?

Thor: Loki died with honour. I shall try to live the same. Is that not legacy enough?

[offers the hammer]

Odin: It belongs to you, if you are worthy of it.

Thor: I shall try to be.

Odin: I can not give you my blessing, nor can I wish you good fortune.

Thor: I know.

[turns to leave]

Odin: If I were proud of the man my son has become, even that I could not say, it would speak only from my heart. Go, my son.

Thor: Thank you, Father.

[leaves]

Loki: [appears from Odin's guise] No... thank you.

Loki: [aboard a Dark Elf ship] I thought you said you knew how to fly this thing.

Thor: [looking at the controls, clearly lost] I said 'how hard could it be.'

Thor: [about Frigga] You had her tricks, but I had her trust!

Loki: Trust? Was that her last expression, trust? While you let her die?

Thor: What good were you in your cell?

Loki: Who put me there? WHO PUT ME THERE?

Thor: YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHO! YOU KNOW DAMN WELL!

[pins Loki]

Thor: [lets go of Loki] She wouldn't want us to fight.

Loki: Well, she wouldn't exactly be shocked.

Thor: [smiles] I wish I could trust you.

Loki: [whispers] Trust my rage.

[Thor arrives in Vanaheim to help Sif]

Sif: I've got this completely under control!

Thor: Is that why everything's on fire?

Loki: [holds up his shackles] You still don't trust me?

Thor: Would you?

[releases Loki]

Loki: ...No, I wouldn't!

[stabs Thor]

Thor: I will tell Father you died with honour.

Loki: I didn't do it for him.

[from trailer]

Loki: After all this time, now you come to visit me, brother? Why? To mock?

Thor: I need your help. And I wish I could trust you...

Loki: If you did, you'd be the fool I always took you for.

Loki: You can at least furnish me with a weapon. My dagger, something!

[Thor puts something in Loki's hands... ]

Loki: At last, a little common sense.

[Thor handcuffs him]

Thor: [grins] And I thought you liked tricks.

Loki: Did she suffer?

Thor: I did not come here to share our grief. Instead I offer you the chance of a far richer sacrament...

Loki: Go on.

Thor: I know you seek vengeance as much as I do. You help me escape Asgard, and I will grant it to you. Vengeance. And afterward, this cell.

Loki: You must be truly desperate to come to me for help. What makes you think you can trust me?

Thor: I don't. Mother did. You should know that when we fought each other in the past, I did so with a glimmer of hope that my brother was still in there somewhere. That hope no longer exists to protect you. You betray me, and I will kill you.

Loki: Hm. When do we start?

Loki: [on Jane] Say goodbye.

Thor: Not this day!

Loki: This day, the next, a hundred years, it's nothing! It's a heartbeat. You'll never be ready. The only woman whose love you prized will be snatched from you.

Thor: And will that satisfy you?

Loki: Satisfaction's not in my nature!

Thor: Surrender's not in mine!

Loki: Thor! After all this time now you come to visit me! Why? Have you come to gloat? To mock?

Thor: Loki, enough! No more illusions.

[illusion fades, everything in sight is broken, Loki is sitting on the ground looking devastated]

Loki: Now you see me, brother!

Loki: This is so unlike you, brother. So... clandestine. Are you sure you wouldn't rather punch your way out?

Thor: If you keep talking, I might.

[a megalith appears to fight Thor]

Sif: All yours...

Thor: [walks up to the monster] Hello

[Monster roars]

Thor: I accept your surrender.

[Crowd howls with laughter. Thor smashes up the monster]

Thor: Anyone else?

[the Marauders all surrender]

Fandral: Perhaps next time you should start with the big one!

Loki: [looks at Jane] What I could do with the power flowing through those veins...

Thor: It would consume you.

[from trailer]

Darcy Lewis: Look at you. Still all muscly and everything!

Thor: ...Thank you.

Thor: [arrives at the prison breakout] Return to your cells, and no harm will come to you! You have my word!

[gets struck]

Thor: Very well, you do not have my word.

[attacks]

[from trailer]

Jane Foster: I saw you with the Avengers in New York!

Thor: I was defending the Earth!

Jane Foster: Is that your excuse?

Thor: Yes!

[pause]

Jane Foster: It's not terrible...

Jane Foster: [Jane's phone rings on Svartalheim with a rap song coming from it and Jane looks confusedly at Thor]

Thor: It's not me.

[council of war]

Heimdall: We need to find a way out of Asgard, to the Dark World. There are paths between the realms known only to a few...

Thor: Known only to ONE, actually.

Thor: How is she?

Heimdall: She's quite clever, your mortal. She doesn't know it yet, but she studies the Convergence as well. Even...

[Stops short]

Thor: What?

Heimdall: I can't see her

Loki: I am a fool...

Thor: Stay with me. Stay with me!

Jane Foster: It's all my fault. If I hadn't found the Aether, your mother and brother would still be alive...

Thor: But if you hadn't come across it, Malekith would have found it quicker.

Malekith: You think you can stop this? The Aether can not be destroyed!

Thor: But YOU can!

[strikes Malekith with Mjolnir]

Thor: Let me take Jane away from here. Malekith is sure to follow, capture her and draw out the Aether from her. But in doing so, he will be vulnerable, and then I can defeat him!

Odin: Malekith is sure to return, we have what we wants. And when he does, we will defeat him.

Thor: We can not fight an enemy we can not locate! Malekith could be right over us now, and we'd never know! How many Asgardian lives must we sacrifice?

Odin: AS MANY AS IS NEEDED! Till the last Asgardian falls, till the last drop of blood is shed!

Thor: What makes you so different from Malekith, then?

Odin: [mirthless laugh] The difference, my son, is that I will WIN.

Thor: Who's Richard?

Jane Foster: ...Really?

[from trailer]

Thor: [to Jane] I gave you my word, that I would return.

Hogun: Where do we go next?

Thor: Hogan, the peace is nearly won across the Nine Realms. You should stay here. Be with your people, where your heart is. Asgard can wait.

Hogun: You have my thanks.

Thor: As you have mine.

[from trailer]

Thor: Every 5000 years the worlds align, allowing an ancient darkness to strike...

Heimdall: The universe hasn't seen this marvel since before my watch began. Few can sense it, even fewer can see it. But while its effects can be dangerous, it is truly beautiful.

Thor: I see nothing.

Heimdall: Or, perhaps that is not the beauty you seek.

Dr. Erik Selvig: We can't get close to Malekith!

Thor: I can!

[heads towards Malekith with Selvig's devices]

[from trailer]

Thor: I will find a way to save us all...

[from trailer]

Thor: If we do nothing, they will destroy us!

Thor: [to Count Zarth Arn] Soon I will join you as your prince of darkness.

Thor: [to Stella Star] You can drop the rifle ray. Now turn around.

Max: Thor, were you fighting with the Narrator?

Thor: Well, he started it.

Narrator: Did not.

Thor: You did too.

Narrator: Did not.

Thor: You did too.

Narrator: Did not.

Thor: You did too!

Max: Thor, stop it.

Thor: I'm chafing, Max. I'm chafing big-time.

Max: Didn't I tell you not to wear twenty pounds of black leather in the jungle? Didn't I tell you? Cotton, I said. Cotton breathes.

[Max and Thor arrive at the tree house to capture a talking ape]

Thor: There's five stinking apes out there. Which one are we taking to Vegas?

Max: The one who's playing chess!

[as Thor takes aim at Shep, Ape jumps to the ground]

Ape: Run, Shep! Run for your life!

Max: Did that monkey just speak?

Thor: That monkey just spoke!

Ape: I'm hungry!

Thor: Oh, shut up. You've been yakkin' for two days straight, and I'm gettin' mad enough to...

Ape: You know, you really should work on your anger. Have you tried Brankowski's "Cage the Rage" technique?

Max: Don't let him get to you, Thor. He's just an ape.

Ape: That's a fine way to talk to your meal ticket. You keep that up, it's liable to affect my stage performance.

Max: Give him a banana, Thor. It won't be long now.

Thor: That's what you said yesterday! This trail is taking us to the middle of nowhere!

Max: The sign at the trail head said "Short cut to Ape River." Now, why would it say "short cut" if it wasn't a...

Max: [pause] Wait a minute. Maybe it's a fake, a decoy trail.

Ape: Very good, Max. Actually, the trail is a fake. It circles Ape Mountain six times before heading right back to the tree house.

Thor: [groaning in frustration] Ohh! Oh, I knew we was lost.

Max: Don't listen to him, Thor. He's just tryin' to trick us, lead us off the short cut so we take twice as long on the regular trail.

Thor: We're already taking twice as long!

Max: Are you gonna let a monkey make a monkey out of ya?

Thor: What?

Ape: Duh!

Max: Let's go. If he tells us the short cut leads to the tree house, then that's exactly where it doesn't lead.

Thor: [discovering George through his telescopic sight] Hey, It's a dude.

[to Max his sidekick]

Thor: I told you there weren't no white ape. You dragged me all the way up here to look at some guy in a leopard skin bikini. If I wanted to see that, I could've stayed in Miami.

Thor: George of the Jungle must be halfway to 'Frisco by now.

Narrator: But our plotting poachers were only half correct for at that very moment, our handsome hero was all the way to San Francisco.

[reaching the end of a long trail]

Thor: Max, look! We're back at the tree house!

Ape: Well, I tried, but you fellas are just too smart for me.

Max: Oh, no!

Narrator: "Oh, no" was right! Because even at that moment...

Thor: [looking up] Hey! Why don't you say something constructive for a change, like what we should do now?

Narrator: Because I don't like you.

Thor: Well, I hate you, you snotty son of a...

Narrator: I'll pretend I didn't hear that.

[there is a thunderous bang, and both Thor and Max stagger, as though hit]

Narrator: Having some fun now, huh?

Thor: I've been reading on the Internet that if you do these flexibility exercises twice a day, you'll be able to give yourself a blowjob in three weeks. I'll e-mail you the link.

Thor: [about a beanbag] What colour would you say that chair is?

Frank: That's a chair? I had no idea!

Violet: What would you say are the most effective means to fight depression?

Thor: Beer?

Frank: No, beer's a downer! Cocktails! Hard liqueur and spirits is what really gives you a lift.

Thor: [Looking out on the rainy day] Would you say today is *very* gray?

Jimbo: More like blue-gray

Thor: [to himself] Damn!

Thor: [in pain on the hospital bed, and being surged] The captain should have let me kill you when I had a chance!

Derek: And why didn't he? I saw him stop you when you fired at me.

Thor: Because... because he just learned that... that you are the son of our leader.

Thor: I will find you. I will find you. I will find you. I will find you. Ahhhhhhggg.

Captain: Morrow! Go below and bring up the young gargon specimen. Now the decision depends on its reactions.

Derek: Wait, Captain. I have found evidence of intelligent beings on this planet!

Thor: Of what concern of foreign beings?

Derek: Of none to you, Thor! Just as you were so unconcerned when you destroyed this small creature, so bravely!

Thor: It was no more than an insect.

Derek: But it had life. And that life you had to take to satisfy your endless hunger for killing.

Thor: Are you alone?

Alice Woodward: Could be...