Thief Quotes in The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie (2004)

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Thief Quotes:

  • Attendant #1: You two dipsticks wouldn't last ten seconds over the county line!

    SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh, yeah? We'll just see about that.

    [they drive over the line; a thief stops them]

    Thief: Out of the car, fellas.

    [thief drives off with Patty Wagon]

    SpongeBob SquarePants: How many seconds was that?

    Attendant #2: Twelve.

    SpongeBob SquarePantsPatrick Star: ...IN YOUR FACE!

    [start laughing hysterically at attendants before walking away over county line]

  • [first lines]

    Thief: [with gun] Open the register!

  • Thief: I have to apologize. I was born with a disfigurement where my head is made of the same material as the sun.

  • Thief: Each drink is better than the last, leaving you with the desire to have one more. Take a drink now.

  • Thief: There are two approaching armies: hunger and fatigue, but a great wall keeps them at bay. The wall extends to the sky and will stay up until I say otherwise.

  • Thief: The next drink must be earned and I'm going to tell you how. Focus closely on my instructions. I will ask you to repeat them from memory.

  • Thief: The water before you is somehow special. When you drink it you feel revived and full of energy. It is better than anything you've ever tasted. Take a drink now.

  • First Blind Man: He stole my car.

    Doctor: It doesn't matter, what are you gonna do with a car, you can't drive anyway?

    Thief: [referring to thief] He stole my sight!

  • Thief: That's the asshole who's responsible for all this, if I had my fuckin' eyes I'd kill him.

    First Blind Man: [to Thief] He's responsible for stealing my car.

  • Thief: Sorry, Kid! But my sister needs the money for a nose job!

Browse more character quotes from The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie (2004)

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