Thick Kevin Quotes in Pirate Radio (2009)

Angus: The way I look at it, the world couldn't survive without my comedy, and who's going to have the moral backbone to play the Seekers when the mood is right?

Dave: They've split up.

Angus: I intend to celebrate the back catalogue.

Dave: I intend to stop you doing so.

Mark: [silently stands up and lights a cigarette]

Simon: As some of you know, my wife left me after 17 hours of marriage, but I survived that because I live for music. And now, with nothing else to live for, I'm willing to die for it as well.

'On-The-Hour' John: I've always lived for news and weather. Happy to die for them, too. Especially the weather.

Bob Silver 'the Dawn Treader': I've got nowhere else to go.

Harold: I have somewhere else to go, but it's Peckham. So I think I'll stick around.

Felicity: Can't let everyone starve. And I'm slightly worried where my increasingly powerful sexuality will take me when I return to normal life.

Thick Kevin: I've got a very strong suspicion that Felicity fancies me. Not about to go anywhere, just when I'm in with a chance.

'Young' Carl: Obviously, I'm in. You're the only people in the world who like me.

Thick Kevin: It's type of bird, but it's wearing a hat. Not so much a hat. Something that's at the top of a coat and attached to the coat and covers the head, but is not a hat.

'Young' Carl: A hood?

Thick Kevin: Yes, and now the first name, type of bird. It's a something hood.

'Young' Carl: Robin Hood! Why didn't you just say he lived in Sherwood Forest and has a bow and an arrow?

Thick Kevin: Yeah? What? Who are you talking about?

'Young' Carl: Robin Hood.

Thick Kevin: I didn't know that.

Quentin: Gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. Which would you prefer?

Thick Kevin: Good news.

Quentin: Okay. The good news is the engine has exploded and we're all going to die.

Dave: Hello, Dr Dave, Radio Rock. How is that good news?

Quentin: I haven't yet told you how we're going to die. That's the bad news.

Simon: How are we gonna die?

Quentin: We're going to drown in the freezing waters of the North Sea.

Felicity: Dearie me.

Quentin: There is a huge hole in the side of the boat and in an unfortunate development, it transpires that the lifeboats are useless.

Thick Kevin: [to Angus] Actually, that's quite good for you, isn't it? 'Cause you can't swim, so you'll die quicker.

Quentin: Sorry.

Thick Kevin: My theory is that you're here because it's exactly the right time for a young man like you to get to know his dad.

'Young' Carl: And?

Thick Kevin: I therefore think that your dad is on this boat. And since he's definitely not me, I think he's probably Quentin.

Thick Kevin: I find alcohol rather sharpens my mind...

Simon: I think we're actually going to die.

Thick Kevin: Why?

Simon: I'll explain later.