The Tumor Quotes in Kick-Ass 2 (2013)


The Tumor Quotes:

  • The Tumor: Eat a dick!

    Mindy Macready: You're going to eat yours if you don't start talking.

    The Tumor: Go ahead and shoot me, you little bitch. There's nothing you can do to make me talk.

    [Mindy pistol whips The Tumor]

    Dave Lizewski: Hold on. I can't do this right now. It's my dad's funeral.

    Mindy Macready: Dave, your father loved you... just like my daddy loved me. And I know it hurts but maybe... maybe that's the real meaning of being a superhero. It's taking that pain and turning it into something good. Something right. Remember what you told me? This is your life. You've got to live it. Now help me find some pliers. I'm going to make this guy eat his own dick.

    The Tumor: Seriously?

  • Colonel Stars and Stripes: [to Eisenhower] You have to stay in there till you calm down, you lunatic. Wonder what's bothering you.

    Mother Russia: I know. Tonight you die.

    Colonel Stars and Stripes: [draws gun] Ladies first.

    Mother Russia: You will not shoot me. You are super hero. You help people. You do not hurt them.

    Chris D'Amico: That's super villain territory or as I like to call my little gang, The Toxic Mega-Cunts.

    The Tumor: [waves] Hi.

    Colonel Stars and Stripes: [takes gun; clicks, Mother Russia realizes it's empty] Yeah, just like your head.

    Genghis Carnage: [Mother Russia overpowers Colonel, pulls out a machete and stabs him] Yeah!

    The Tumor: Ooh, that's gotta hurt.

    [Mother Russia uses Colonel's coat to wipe his blood off her blade]

    Chris D'Amico: I did my homework on you, Colonel. You used to be Sal Bertolinni, didn't you? Did a few jobs for my dad back in the day before you got born-again?

    Colonel Stars and Stripes: [dying] I used to hangout with a lot of losers.

    Chris D'Amico: Is this how you thought you would die, Sal? Dressed like an idiot?

    Colonel Stars and Stripes: Who are you supposed to be?

    Chris D'Amico: I'm the Mother Fucker! And I'm here to end Kick-Ass. Not just kill him. I am going to shit on everything that he loved. Let's trash this place guys.

    [picks up mail statement]

    Chris D'Amico: Miranda Swedlow. Who's that, Sal? She one of the whores on your team?

    [googles her name and matches her with her face on the poster]

    Chris D'Amico: Night Bitch. All snuggled up to Kick-Ass. Looks like our boy's got a new hot pocket.

    Mother Russia: Want me to kill his dog?

    Chris D'Amico: The dog, Jesus Christ, I'm not that evil. Cut the old man's head off. You guys hungry? I'm starving. Let's go get some pizza.

    Mother Russia: Don't worry, I kill you first.

    [wraps legs around Colonel's neck]

    Colonel Stars and Stripes: Justice Forever...

    [snaps neck; dies]

Browse more character quotes from Kick-Ass 2 (2013)