The Sheriff Quotes in
The Sheriff Quotes:
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Jonas: May I inquire just what it is you are looking for?
The Sheriff: Mass murders and what they stole.
Jonas: Not the roughies we heard about in Denton? The ones who destroyed the army convoy in Denton.
The Sheriff: They are somewhere around. We found some of their handywork in Denton's rocky hills. A woman's body... stripped clean.
-- The Sheriff -
Steve: You wouldn't call a man a white man that had Negro blood in him, would you?
The Sheriff: No, I wouldn't; not in Mississippi. One drop of Negro blood makes you a Negro in these parts!
-- The Sheriff -
Pete: [showing Julie's picture to the Sheriff] See that?
The Sheriff: Why that's Miss Julie LaVerne, ain't it?
Pete: Yeah, that's what she calls herself, ever since she got married to a white man!
The Sheriff: What d'ya mean?
Pete: Frank, come over here; I want you to hear this. You too, Ellie.
The Sheriff: Sit down and explain yourself. And you make sure you know what you're talkin' about.
-- The Sheriff -
Parthy: He's a murderer!
Magnolia: Mama!
Parthy: You're letting my daughter marry a murderer!
Cap'n Andy Hawks: Who's the murderer?
Parthy: That Ravenal! He killed a man.
Magnolia: Gay!
Cap'n Andy Hawks: Then why ain't he in jail, or hanged?
The Sheriff: The jury figured the gentleman he killed oughta went anyhow.
Parthy: Andy Hawks, are you going to stand there and let your only child marry a murderer?
Cap'n Andy Hawks: Oh don't be so narrow minded, Mrs. Hawks, I killed a man myself once.
Parthy: You killed?
Cap'n Andy Hawks: Yes, me. Now, are you comin' with us, or ain't you? They're going to be married.
Parthy: Married to a murderer! Oh!
[she faints]
Ellie May Chipley: She's fainted.
Cap'n Andy Hawks: Are you sure?
The Sheriff: She's out.
Cap'n Andy Hawks: Good! Now we'll go on with the wedding.
-- The Sheriff -
The Sheriff: Now, hold it there, Doc. How can we be sure you ain't possessed? I mean, hell, I just shot you and you're still standing.
Doc Riley: Ah, well, you ain't got me but on my shoulder.
The Sheriff: I guess that makes sense. All right, why don't you tell me who won last year's annual cow chip throwing contest.
Doc Riley: What?
The Sheriff: You heard me. If it is really you, you'd know.
Doc Riley: Well, shoot, sheriff, that's kinda a trick question 'cause Lovelock ain't never had an annual cow chip throwing contest. Uh-huh. It alternates every year with the greasy pig catching competition.
The Sheriff: Ah, he's okay. All right, Doc, get your ass over here.
-- The Sheriff -
The Sheriff: Well! Ain't you about as handy as a pocket on a shirt.
-- The Sheriff -
The Sheriff: That damn woman!
Monk: Yes, I know what you mean.
The Sheriff: What, you? You're a monk!
Monk: Well, I'm very well read... and I dream.
[smiles]
Monk: I dream a lot.
-- The Sheriff -
The Sheriff: You're a slick, cunning wolf, Zanti, but I finally got ya.
Pandro Zanti: You forgot, Señor Sheriff, wolves run in packs. And mine is not far behind.
-- The Sheriff -
The Sheriff: To Zanti after he shackles him to a bed frame: Reckon that'll hold ya.
John Tobin: I'm not so sure.
The Sheriff: This is my business. I ain't never lost a prisoner yet.
Dusty: Heh... You never had one to lose.
-- The Sheriff -
The Sheriff: I'm warnin' you, Tex. Don't start no trouble in town.
The Rich Uncle (Jim 'Tex' Preston): I don't want trouble. But I won't run away from it, either!
-- The Sheriff -
[when Tom Owens mistakes the Mesquiteers for the Cherokee Gang, the Sheriff arrests them]
Stony Brooke: Why he's crazy. The guys we plugged back on the road are the real Cherokees!
The Sheriff: I'll settle for the Cherokees we got. Head 'em for jail!
Lullaby Joslin: Your tombstones are gonna read, "Here lie the Cherokee Boys" and mine will read, "I Told You So!"
-- The Sheriff
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