The Newsman Quotes in The Muppets (2011)

Mahna Mahna: [sings] Mahna Mahna

Tex Richman: You're breaking the law! I own that name!

Snowth, Snowth: [the Snowths sing] Doo-doo, do-do-doo, do-do do do do do doo.

Gonzo: [with a bowling ball] Hey guys, I think I finally worked out how to - Whoo-ha!

[Gonzo throws the bowling ball and hits Tex Richman]

Fozzie Bear: 'Oil' bet that hurt.

[Tex Richman starts laughing]

The Newsman: This just in: Richman gives back Muppet theater and name. Change of heart, nothing to do with head injury.

Tex Richman: [sings] Mahna Mahna

Snowth, Snowth: [the Snowths sing] Doo-doo, do-do-doo

The Newsman: Muppet News Flash! Constantine, the world's most dangerous frog, has escaped from a maximum-security Gulag in Siberia, Russia. This move has leapfrogged Constantine to the number-one most wanted criminal in the world, one place ahead of the mysterious Lemur.

The Newsman: The scientific community is focusing on the phenomenon, specifically on that trance like state that seems to characterize the assailants. Clearly a behavioral disorder, but what could've caused so widespread and dramatic condition as the one we're facing tonight.

The Newsman: We've heard speculation, on everything from the Ozone layer and chemical weapons, to uh...

[laughs softly]

The Newsman: voodoo mysticism and organisms from space.

The Newsman: A biologist in Stockton, California, have released reports, stating the uh...

[puts glasses on]

The Newsman: bodies, of the recently dead, are returning to life. Driven by an unknown force which enables the brain to continue to function.

The Newsman: Doctors at the Center for Disease Control in Atlanta, reject that theory, calling it preposterous beyond belief. They feel that the only reasonable explanation is a germ, that has a mind altering effect on it's victims. Though how such a germ could've been spread so quickly and across such a vast area, does remain a mystery.

The Newsman: It's being called "Judgement Day" by religious leaders-

[Harry pulls the plug]