The Minister Quotes in The Muppets Take Manhattan (1984)
The Minister Quotes:
Kermit the Frog: [whispering] Piggy, I thought Gonzo was gonna play the minister.
Miss Piggy: [laughs]
The Minister: [singing] Do you, Piggy, take this frog to be your lawful wedded husband? Do you?
Miss Piggy: [singing] I do.
The Minister: [singing] Do you, Froggie, take this pig to be your lawful wedded wife until you die?
Kermit the Frog: [hesitantly singing] Well... I...
The Minister: [singing] Do you?
Kermit the Frog: [as everyone else listens intently for his decision; still singing] Well... I do.
The Minister: [singing] Then because you share a love so big, I now pronounce you Frog and Pig.
The Minister: Judge me, oh Lord, for I have lost in mine integrity. I have trusted also in the Lord, therefore I shall not slide. Examine me, oh Lord, and prove me. Try my reins and my heart, for Thy loving kindness is before mine eyes, and I have walked in Thy truth.
The Minister: If you're driving your chariot to Missouri, sir, you could deliver this child to her kinfolk.
Moses Pray: Well, I wouldn't exactly call it a chariot, Reverend.
Anna: Forgive those who only think of themselves. Forgive those who are greedy and cheap. And those who deceive and cheat or grow rich by paying miserable wages. Dear lord, forgive them. Forgive them. And Lord, forgive those who humiliate and desecrate. Forgive those who torture and kill. Forgive those who bomb and destroy cities and villages. Forgive those who are dishonest, those who lie and are false. Forgive governments who withhold the truth from the people. Dear Lord, forgive them. Forgive those who are heartless, merciless, and quick to pass judgment. Please Lord, forgive them. Forgive courts that pass sentences which are too harsh or convict the innocent. Forgive them.
The minister: Anna... We have to close and lock up now.
Anna: Forgive newspapers and TV channels that mislead. That distract attention from that which is important. Dear Lord, forgive them.
The minister: There now, Anna. We have to close and lock up now.
Anna: Dear Lord, forgive them. Forgive them.
The Minister: She's a truck. She'll need a forklift to get into heaven.
The Minister: Can you think of anything of real value that the outsiders have brought with them?
Bess McNeill: Uh... their music!
The Minister: We do not need bells in our church to worship God.
Bess McNeill: His name is Jan.
The Minister: I do not know him.
Bess McNeill: [coyly] He's from the lake.
The Minister: You know we do not favor matrimony with outsiders.
An Elder: Can you even tell us what matrimony is?
Bess McNeill: It's when two people are joined in God.
The Minister: I would say to you that if there is one of these commandments you do not love and do not obey, you have no business at the Lord's table.
The Minister: Yes, but you mustn't keep a dog and bark yourself, you know.
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