The Grinch Quotes in How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)
The Grinch Quotes:
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The Grinch: All right, you're a reindeer. Here's your motivation: Your name is Rudolph, you're a freak with a red nose, and no one likes you. Then, one day, Santa picks you and you save Christmas. No, forget that part. We'll improvise... just keep it kind of loosey-goosey. You HATE Christmas! You're gonna steal it. Saving Christmas is a lousy ending, way too commercial. ACTION!
[Max knocks the red nose off]
The Grinch: BRILLIANT! You reject your own nose because it represents the glitter of commercialism. Why didn't I think of that? Cut, print, check the gate, moving on.
-- The Grinch -
The Grinch: The nerve of those Whos. Inviting me down there - on such short notice! Even if I wanted to go my schedule wouldn't allow it. 4:00, wallow in self pity; 4:30, stare into the abyss; 5:00, solve world hunger, tell no one; 5:30, jazzercize; 6:30, dinner with me - I can't cancel that again; 7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing... I'm booked. Of course, if I bump the loathing to 9, I could still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling and slip slowly into madness. But what would I wear?
-- The Grinch -
The Grinch: I tell you Max, I don't know why I ever leave this place. I've got all the company I need right here.
[indicates himself]
The Grinch: [shouts] Hello?
Echo: Hello.
The Grinch: How are you?
Echo: How are you?
The Grinch: I asked you first.
Echo: I asked you first.
The Grinch: Oh right, that's REALLY mature, saying exactly what I say.
Echo: ...Saying exactly what I say.
The Grinch: I'm an idiot!
Echo: You're an idiot!
The Grinch: [whispering] Alright fine! I'm not talking to you anymore! In fact, I'm going to whisper! So that by the time my voice reverbarates off the walls, and gets back to me, I won't be able to hear it.
[pause]
Echo: You're an idiot!
-- The Grinch -
[a taxicab passes him by]
The Grinch: It's because I'm green isn't it?
-- The Grinch -
The Grinch: MAX. HELP ME... I'm FEELING.
-- The Grinch -
Cindy Lou Who: Santa?
The Grinch: WHAT?
Cindy Lou Who: Don't forget the Grinch. I know he's mean and hairy and smelly. His hands might be cold and clammy, but I think he's actually kinda... sweet.
The Grinch: SWEET? You think he's sweet?
Cindy Lou Who: [nods] Merry Christmas, Santa.
[goes upstairs]
The Grinch: Nice kid... baaad judge of character.
-- The Grinch -
The Grinch: Any calls?
Grinch's Answering Machine: [computer voice] You have no messages.
The Grinch: Odd. Better check the outgoing.
Grinch's Answering Machine: [Grinch's voice] If you utter so much as one syllable, I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN AND GUT YOU LIKE A FISH! If you'd like to fax me, press the star key.
The Grinch: Hmm. Oh well.
-- The Grinch -
Cindy Lou Who: We're gonna crash!
The Grinch: Now you listen to me, young lady! Even if we're *horribly mangled*, there'll be no sad faces on Christmas.
-- The Grinch -
Narrator: The Whos young and old would sit down to a feast, and they'll feast, and they'll feast.
The Grinch: And they'll feast, feast, feast, feast. They'll eat their Who-Pudding and rare Who-Roast Beast. But that's something I just cannot stand in the least. Oh, no. I'M SPEAKING IN RHYME!
-- The Grinch -
The Grinch: Am I just eating because I'm bored?
-- The Grinch -
The Grinch: That's what it's all about, isn't it? That's what it's always been *about*. Gifts, gifts... gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts! You wanna know what happens to your gifts? They all come to me. In your garbage. You see what I'm saying? In your *garbage*. I could hang myself with all the bad Christmas neckties I found at the dump. And the avarice...
[shouts]
The Grinch: The avarice never ends! "I want golf clubs. I want diamonds. I want a pony so I can ride it twice, get bored and sell it to make glue." Look, I don't wanna make waves, but this *whole* Christmas season is...
[shouts again]
The Grinch: ...stupid, stupid, stupid!
[calmer]
The Grinch: There is, however, one teeny-tiny Christmas tradition I find quite meaningful...
[holds up mistletoe]
The Grinch: Mistletoe.
[puts mistletoe over his butt]
The Grinch: Now pucker up and kiss it, Whoville!
[wiggles mistletoe]
The Grinch: Boi-yoi-yoi-yoing!
-- The Grinch -
The Grinch: We're gonna die! We're gonna die! I'm going to throw up, and then I'm gonna die! Mommy, tell it to stop!
[continues to scream and yell, then chuckle as he gets the sleigh under control]
The Grinch: Whew... ha! Almost lost my *cool* there.
-- The Grinch -
The Grinch: Oh. Bleeding hearts of the world UNITE.
-- The Grinch -
Mayor Augustus Maywho: They nursed you. They clothed you. Here they are! Your old biddies!
The Grinch: Are you two still living?
-- The Grinch -
The Grinch: What's that stench? It's fantastic.
-- The Grinch -
The Grinch: [messing with peoples mail] Jury duty, jury duty, jury duty, black mail, pink slip, chain letter, eviction notice, jury duty.
-- The Grinch -
The Grinch: [after getting bit on the butt by Max] That is not a chew toy. You have no idea where it's been.
-- The Grinch -
The Grinch: One man's toxic sludge is another man's potpourri.
[Max barks]
The Grinch: I don't know, it's some kind of soup.
-- The Grinch -
The Grinch: I am the Grinch that stole Christmas... and I'm sorry.
[long silence]
The Grinch: Aren't you going to cuff me? Put me in a choke hole? Blind me with pepper spray?
Mayor Augustus Maywho: You heard him, Officer. He admitted it. I'd go with the pepper spray.
Officer Wholihan: Yes, I heard him all right. He said he was sorry.
-- The Grinch -
The Grinch: It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes, or bags.
Narrator: The the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before.
The Grinch: Maybe Christmas doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas...
Narrator: He thought
The Grinch: ...means a little bit more.
-- The Grinch -
Cindy Lou Who: [kisses the Grinch on the cheek] Your cheek's so...
The Grinch: I know. Hairy.
Cindy Lou Who: No.
The Grinch: Greasy? Stinky? Do I have a zit?
Cindy Lou Who: No. Warm.
-- The Grinch -
The Grinch: I'm all toasty inside. And I'm leaking.
-- The Grinch -
Narrator: So whatever the reason, his heart or his shoes, he stood outside his cave, hating the Whos.
The Grinch: [opens phone book] Alphabetically!
[looks into book]
The Grinch: Aadvarkian Abakeneezer Who, I...
[yelling]
The Grinch: HATE YOU!
[looks into book again]
The Grinch: Aaron B. Benson Who, I hate *you*.
[looking into book]
The Grinch: Hate, hate, hate. Hate, hate, hate. Double hate. LOATHE ENTIRELY!
-- The Grinch -
Cindy Lou Who: Santa, what's the meaning of Christmas?
The Grinch: [bursts through the Christmas tree] VENGEANCE!
The Grinch: [calmly] Er, I mean... presents, I suppose.
-- The Grinch -
The Grinch: Oh, no, the sleigh, the presents, they'll be destroyed, and I care!
[shouts]
The Grinch: What is the deal?
-- The Grinch -
Narrator: ...He slunk to the fridge...
[the Grinch tackles the refrigerator]
The Grinch: SLUNK!
-- The Grinch -
The Grinch: Blast this Christmas music. It's joyful and triumphant.
-- The Grinch -
The Grinch: Oh, the Who-manity.
-- The Grinch -
Narrator: And the more the Grinch thought of what Christmas would bring, the more the Grinch thought...
The Grinch: I must stop this whole thing!
The Grinch: Why, for year after year I've put up with it now. I must stop this Christmas from coming... but how? I MEAN... in what way?
-- The Grinch -
The Grinch: [Takes back his mask and barks at Cindy Lou] Give me that! Don't you know you're not suppose to take things that don't belong to you? What's the matter with you, you some kind of wild animal? Huh?
-- The Grinch -
The Grinch: Those Whos are hard to frazzle, Max. But, we did our worst, and that's all that matters.
-- The Grinch -
[Cindy meets the Grinch for the first time]
Cindy Lou Who: You're the... the...
The Grinch: [mimicking Cindy] The... the... THE GRINCH!
-- The Grinch -
The Grinch: [stops a tiny car] Evening, folks. Mind if I squeeze in?
[starts to sit on the car]
The Grinch: You might want to scooch over.
[the whos run away]
The Grinch: You did the right thing.
-- The Grinch -
Cindy Lou Who: Thanks for saving me.
The Grinch: [stops in his tracks] Saving you, is that what you think I was doing? Wrongo. I just noticed that you were improperly packaged, my dear.
[grabs wrapping paper and starts wrapping Cindy up]
The Grinch: Hold still.
[to Max]
The Grinch: Max, pick out a bow.
[to Cindy]
The Grinch: Can I use your finger for a sec?
-- The Grinch -
The Grinch: Who wants the gizzard?
Drew Lou Who: I do.
The Grinch: Too late. That'll be mine.
-- The Grinch -
The Grinch: [singing] Be it ever so heinous, there's no place like home.
-- The Grinch -
Lou Lou Who: Hello? Is my Subzero Chillibrator running? I suppose.
The Grinch: Well then you better go catch it.
-- The Grinch -
The Grinch: Are you having a holly, jolly Christmas?
-- The Grinch -
The Grinch: Well, pucker up and kiss it, Whoville.
[puts mistletoe up to his butt and makes a taunting noise as he shakes it around]
-- The Grinch -
Cindy Lou Who: [Lou standing in the way of the Sleigh] Daddy, move!
The Grinch: Dad, move it!
-- The Grinch -
The Grinch: [his plan to ruin Christmas for the Whos] The crescendo of my odious opus.
-- The Grinch
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