The Collector Quotes in Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

The Collector: These carriers can use the stone to mow down entire civilisations like wheat in a field.

Peter Quill: There's a little pee coming out of me right now.

The Collector: Carina, get away from that stone! CARINA!

Carina: I will no longer be your slave!

[grabs the stone and gets obliterated]

[During credits]

[Sif and Volstagg are guided by a red alien]

Carina: I present to you, Taneleer Tivan, the Collector.

[Sif and Volstagg meet Taneleer Tivan]

The Collector: Asgardians, it's an honor...

Sif: You know why we're here.

[hands the Aether over to the Collector]

The Collector: Of course. But if I may ask, why not keep it secure, in your own vault?

Volstagg: The Tesseract is already on Asgard. It is not wise to keep two Infinity Stones so close together.

The Collector: That's very wise. I can assure you, it will be absolutely safe here in my collection.

Sif: See that it is.

[Sif and Volstagg leave]

The Collector: One down, five to go...

[last lines]

The Collector: [after acquiring one of the Infinity Gems] One down. Five to go.

Aunty Entity: We call it Underworld. That's where Bartertown gets its energy.

Max: What, oil? Natural gas?

Aunty Entity: Pigs.

Max: You mean pigs like those?

Aunty Entity: That's right.

Max: Bullshit!

Aunty Entity: No. Pig shit.

Max: What?

The Collector: Pig shit. The lights, the motors, the vehicles, all run by a high-powered gas called methane. And methane cometh from pig shit.

Max: I've got skills, I could trade them.

The Collector: Sorry, the brothel's full.

The Collector: Perhaps you've got something to trade after all.

Max: Keep talkin'

The Collector: Twenty-four hours of your life, in return, you'll get back what was stolen.

Max: Sounds like a bargain.

The Collector: It's not. It's the law.

Aunty Entity: This is no enemy. It's almost family.

Max: Oh, I see, real civilized!

Aunty Entity: The reasons don't concern you, only the conditions. Do you want the deal or not?

Max: Mmm

[nods in agreement]

The Collector: The first is, no one knows you're working for Aunty. You hit him, you go. The second is, it's a fair fight. The third is, it's to the death.

Max: Who's the bunny?

The Collector: [Brayker has just burned his face with the Key causing him to jump off the window] HUMANS... You're not worth the flesh you're printed on...

[taking off his outfit]

The Collector: Fuck this cowboy shit! You fucking ho-dunk, po-dunk, well then there motherfuckers! All you had to do was give me the goddamn key! Then we could get on with our lives.

[cuts his hand to make new creatures]

The Collector: Alright... this house is hereby... condemned...

[the Collector holds up Irene's severed arm]

The Collector: You want your arm back, Irene? I can make it happen.

[Irene raises the stump of her arm]

The Collector: Is that a yes?

Irene: No. That's me giving you the finger, asshole!

The Collector: I'll get back to you.

[disappears]

Roach: Via con dios.

The Collector: And a via con diablos to you, too, sir.

The Collector: All right, I know what you're thinking. You give up your soul, you turn into a demon, you look like shit. Where's the payoff, right?

The Collector: Humans. You're not worth the flesh you're printed on!

The Collector: Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are? I know that sounds like a line - Lord knows I've used it - but I mean it.

The Collector: Do me a favor? Don't scream. Just hear what I've gotta say... and then scream.

The Collector: Poor Cordelia. Seems downright criminal to treat such a pretty girl that way... did I say pretty? I meant beautiful; 'cause you are, you are beautiful Cordelia, Inside and out. Maybe nobody here can see it, but I sure can. I understand you: I know what you want, I know what you need. Guys like Roach think just 'cause they're paying for it, that they can treat you like shit; and spend the same money on dinner and a movie so they can call you girlfriend instead of whore. Whore; what a horrible word that is to use on someone who's really just a sad girl who's looking for love. Tender, warm, unconditional Love. I can give you that love, as much as you take. All you have to do is let me in,

[fading]

The Collector: let me in, let me in, let me in, let me in.

The Collector: [singsong] Hello? Anybody home? Come on out, everybody, it's time to play!

The Collector: All right, this property... is hereby... condemned

The Collector: [to Uncle Willie who holds The Key] "Oh look, he's gone and put something AWFUL in there! Would ya mind dumping that out before ya place it inside?

[smiles]

The Collector: "Disturb not the harmony of Fire, Ice, or Lightning lest these three Titans wreck destruction upon the world in which they clash. Though the water's Great Guardian shall arise to quell the fighting alone its song will fail. Thus the Earth shall turn to ash. O, Chosen One, into thine hands bring together all three. Their treasures combined tame the beast of the sea." Now it begins.

[last lines]

Arkin: All those insects, you're quite the collector. In a 200-mile radius from where we last saw each other, there are 14 licensed entomologists. And you were number 12. Your daddy ran a museum, didn't he? Fucked you up real good. Turn around.

[Arkin presses a gun against the back of The Collector's head]

Arkin: Turn around.

[the Collector slowly turns around]

The Collector: Are you here to kill me?

Arkin: No. That'd be too nice. First I'm gonna make you feel everything that I felt. And then I'm gonna kill you. So that you can never hurt anyone...

[the Collector attacks Arkin, but is overpowered and thrown into a trunk]

Arkin: [slamming the trunk shut] Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!