The Boss Quotes in Grindhouse (2007)

[Machete trailer]

Announcer: [voiceover] But they soon realize...

The Boss: He's coming after *us*!

[cut to Machete opening his jacket to reveal an arsenal of machetes]

Announcer: They just fucked with the wrong Mexican!

Announcer: [first lines, voiceover] They called him Machete.

Machete: [voiceover] Seventy dollars a day for yard work. Hundred for roofing.

The Boss: [car with The Boss pulls up] Get in.

Machete: [cut to Machete in car with The Boss] One-twenty-five for septic... sewage.

The Boss: Have you ever killed anyone before?

[Machete trailer: Machete sharpens a machete]

Announcer: [voiceover] He knows the score...

[cut to The Boss picking up a phone]

The Boss: Where are my wife and daughter?

[cut to Machete in a pool with The Boss's wife and daughter]

Announcer: [voiceover] He gets the women!

The Boss: Did the foot fungus pay up yet?

Thug: Nah, that guy's gettin' flaky on us.

The Boss: Bruiser, take this punk up to the face and bury him in a blackhead. When we're done, It'll take a Swedish facialist six steaming washcloths to get you out.

Thrax: Sounds like a gas, baby. Bring it on.

[the boss bursts into the room and breaks up a loud argument among his henchmen at the poker table]

The Boss: What the fuck is going on?

Ives: Somebody was cheating, boss.

The Boss: Yeah, well of course somebody was cheating, you're a bunch of fucking criminals. That is precisely why this always happens.

[the Boss sighs, and then pulls a large pair of shears out of his desk drawer]

The Boss: No, I don't think you fully appreciate your position here. 'Cause if you did, you'd be spilling your guts and praying to God that I kill you quick before I crush your balls like harvest grapes.

Joseph Koo: Oh God, please don't! It wasn't supposed to go this way!

Duncan: [calmly] Wrong, Koo. I think it WAS supposed to go this way.

[pause]

Duncan: Somebody sent you out in public knowing you'd get picked up. You've been set up. Now I know you're scared, but listen carefully, your situation has changed. You are going to be tortured more heinously than you can conceive of by the man behind this desk.

[pause]

Duncan: Only one way to avoid that.

[pause]

Duncan: Only one way out.

[pause]

Duncan: Whattaya gonna do?

The Boss: You know when I was young, I had this boss, Lazar. He used to talk a lot about getting taken out. He always used to say "You gotta see it comin', you gotta look for it where you think it is, you gotta look for it where you think it ain't, you gotta look hard, you gotta be fast. Because even seein' it comin' don't mean you can stop it."

Jimmy: So you killed him?

The Boss: Damn right.

[the Boss casually takes the gun from his son Jimmy's hand]

The Boss: Know anything about last night?

Jimmy: [surprised] I love you, dad.

The Boss: [playfully] I love you too, Jimmy.

[the Boss punches Jimmy viciously in the eye, knocking him to the ground]

The Boss: [screaming] Didja do it! Didja!

Jimmy: No!

The Boss: [calmly] Well, that's good. That's good, Jimmy.

[pause]

The Boss: Go pour yourself a shot of bourbon, you took that one like a man.

The Boss: We don't have one slot machine, one prostitute, or one still left in McNairy County... And with the trouble Buford Pusser's cost us, we don't want back in.

The Boss: [to his assistant after hanging up the phone on Witter] That contract on Witter... Go through with it.

Bartleby: I don't drive.

The Boss: You don't drive? Well, then how did you get here? Did you walk? There are no sidewalks!

[speaks into the intercom]

The Boss: Vivian, can you take a bus here?

Vivian: [speaking through the intercom] Ah... yes. From my house I would take the 36 to the terminal in town. Then transfer there to the 80 and get off at the shopping center then catch the 48. There's only one - at 7:10 AM. The ride is roughly an hour and a half from the mall, so to get here by nine, I have to leave the house by 4:45. My car was in the shop last week so I looked into the bus schedule but

[pause]

Vivian: , obviously, I took a taxi.

The Boss: [pause] Thank you, Vivian.

The Boss: The world needs to know!

Beatrice: Why?

The Boss: What?

Beatrice: Why does the world need to know how it feels to crash into the sea?

Newspaper editor: There's only one thing more, Mr. Governor - the marriage!

Gov. McGinty: What's the matter with the marriage? She's married to Norval Jones, she always has been! The guy married them, didn't he? The boy signed his right name, didn't he?

Newspaper editor: But he gave his name as Ratzkywatzky!

Gov. McGinty: He was trying to say Jones, he stuttered!

The Boss: What are you looking for, a needle from a haystack?

Newspaper editor: Then how about the first Ratzkywatzky?

Gov. McGinty: He's annulled!

The Boss: Shnook!

Newspaper editor: Who annulled?

Gov. McGinty: The judge, who do you suppose?

The Boss: Retroactive!

Gov. McGinty: Will you get Mendoza on the phone?

The Boss: I'm getting him.

Gov. McGinty: He's out of the picture!

The Boss: Was never in it!

Slevin: I'm sorry, who are you?

The Boss: I'm The Boss.

Slevin: I thought he was The Boss.

The Boss: Why? Do we look alike? So, Mr Fisher, you were gonna tell me something?

Slevin: I don't know, you brought me here.

The Boss: Yes I did. Back when you thought I was him.

Slevin: I didn't think you were him, I thought he was you. And I was trying to tell him - you that they picked up the wrong guy.

The Boss: The wrong guy for what?

Slevin: Whatever it is you wanna see me about.

The Boss: Do you know what I wanna see you about?

Slevin: No.

The Boss: Then how do you know I got the wrong guy?

Slevin: Because I'm not...

The Boss: Maybe I want to give you $96,000. In that case do I still have the wrong guy?

Slevin: Do you wanna give me $96,000?

The Boss: No, do you wanna give me $96,000?

Slevin: No, should I?

The Boss: I don't know, should you?

Slevin: I don't know, should I?

The Boss: [pause] Long story short.

Slevin: I think we're well past that point.

The Boss: I bet it was that mouth that got you that nose.

Slevin: Okay, I'm under the impression that you're under the impression that I owe you $96,000...?

The Boss: No, you owe Slim Hopkins $96,000. You owe Slim, Slim owes me. You owe me.

The Boss: I bet it was that mouth that got you that nose.

The Boss: [shows Slevin the body of Slim in his freezer] Hey, Slim? Do you know this cat? Slim?

[turns to Slevin]

The Boss: No use. Ever since somebody shot him, old Slim went deaf.

Slevin: What happened to make Slim go deaf?

The Boss: Why?

Slevin: Well, because I owe you $96,000, and I might have a slight problem coming up with the money.

The Boss: Oh, okay. Well, why don't we just make it an even 90?

Slevin: I... may have exaggerated the slightness.

The Boss: I hired you to do a job. It wasn't supposed to look like a job. So you take out the Israelis, bomb the damn building and now the job that was not supposed to look like a job is beginning to look very much... like a job.

Slevin: Who are you?

The Boss: I'm The Boss.

Slevin: I thought he was The Boss.

The Boss: Why? Do we look alike?

The Boss: [after Slevin has just told him he'll take the job killing the Rabbi's son] I knew you had sense.

Slevin: Sense is something you have when you have a choice.

The Boss: Sometimes. Sometimes it's when you know you don't.

The Boss: Yitzchok the Fairy.

Slevin: Why do they call him "the Fairy"?

The Boss: Because he's a fairy.

Slevin: What, he's got wings, he flies, he sprinkles magic dust all over the place?

The Boss: [annoyed] He's homosexual.

The Boss: You? You're the triggerman.

Slevin: Me?

The Boss: You.

Slevin: Aren't there professionals? People you can hire to do this sort of thing?

The Boss: [laughing] Of course there are. Yes. But you owe me $96,000. Why should I go out and pay someone else when I've already paid you?

Slevin: Anything else you want to tell me?

The Boss: I suppose I don't need to say anything as trite and cliched as "go to the police and you're a dead man".

Slevin: I think you just did.

The Boss: I guess I did.

The Rabbi: [whispering to Slevin] Whatever they're paying you...

[smiles slyly]

Slevin: [chuckles slightly] There is no "they... " I did this to you. Me.

The Rabbi: You?

Slevin: Me.

The Boss: Who ARE you?

The Boss: [showing a picture] That was my son. Notice how I said was?

Slevin: Yeah.

The Boss: That's because he's dead. Murdered. Relegated to the past tense. Sent from an is to a was before he'd had his breakfast.

Slevin: Bummer.

The Boss: Y-you? Nahh... You're dead. You're DEAD!

Slevin: Ok, I'm under the impression that you're under the impression that I owe you 96,000 dollars.

The Boss: No, you owe Slim Hopkins 96,000 dollars. You owe Slim, Slim owes me... You owe me.

The Boss: Are you familiar with the Shmoo?

The Boss: Look at me, look at me smile, your son is dead!

The Boss: That's all there is to it.

Slevin: Is that all there is to it?

Mr. Goodkat: Yup... That's all there is to it.

The Boss: What was on your agenda today? I can't remember.

John: We had to kill "Frankie Rubber Butt".

The Boss: Ah.

[opens a locker]

The Boss: *This* Frankie Rubber Butt? The one who steals the betting money? Oh, shut up!

[slams the locker]

The Boss: The arsehole who sold seven of our men to the FBI?

[holds up a photo of Frank Contropelo]

The Boss: Or was it this one?

Jack: That's him, boss.

The Boss: Frankie Backcomber. The barber on the 15th Street. You had to kill a spy! You killed a barber instead. I don't know what to do with you, guys. Two weeks ago you collected the protection money from the wrong shops! And today you killed a barber!

Jack: There's also the bourbon incident.

The Boss: What bourbon?

Jack: It was a bourbon we were supposed to deliver, but we downed it all at Billy Rotten Gum's party.

The Boss: What am I supposed to do? Come on - tell me!

Jack: Well...

The Boss: Jack! It's a rhetorical question, you're not meant to answer it!

The Boss: COUNTER, PAUL!