Tex Richman Quotes in The Muppets (2011)

[Tex and Uncle Deadly are atop the Muppet Theater with a pair of boltcutters about to shut off the power]

Tex Richman: To the end of the Muppets!

[Uncle Deadly grabs the boltcutters to stop Tex]

Tex Richman: Deadly! What are you doing?

Uncle Deadly: Enough! Just because I have a terrifying name and an evil English accent, does not preclude the fact that, in my heart, I am a Muppet, not a Moopet! Looks like it's I who will have the last laugh!

Tex Richman: What does that mean?

Uncle Deadly: It's an idiom, you idiot, because you cannot laugh! Ha ha!

[Tex falls off the roof and lands on the ground with a thud]

Uncle Deadly: Oopsie.

[he laughs]

Tex Richman: Deadly.

Uncle Deadly: Now *that's* a maniacal laugh for you!

Tex Richman: The show's over!

Fozzie Bear: But we were so close!

[bangs his head against the score board, which suddenly goes from reading, "$9,999,999" to "$99,999.99"]

Fozzie Bear: Or... not. Eh, kinda makes me feel better, actually. We were nowhere close at all!

[repeated line]

Tex Richman: Maniacal laugh... maniacal laugh...

Bobo: [singing] Together again.

[Deadly joins in]

Bobo, Uncle Deadly: Gee, it's good to be...

Tex Richman: [cuts them off] NO SINGING IN MY OFFICE!

Tex Richman: A hard, cynical act for a hard, cynical world.

Marvin Suggs: [singing] The movie's almost over, it's time to say "So long".

Tex Richman: Will you please stop singing? You've already sung this song.

Tex Richman: We'll be sending those Muppets running home with their tails between their legs. Some of them literally, because those ones have tails.

Statler: [the door opens, Statler, Waldorf, Uncle Deadly, Bobo the Bear, and Tex Richman enter the room] There, now this here is Kermit the Frog's old office.

Waldorf: Or so we've been 'toad'.

[Statler and Waldorf chuckle]

Tex Richman: Well, as you know, gentlemen, I've loved the Muppets since I was a boy.

Uncle Deadly, Bobo: Mm-hmm.

Tex Richman: And what better way to honor the Muppets than to make this beautiful studio a Muppet museum.

[Walter gasps while hiding underneath a table]

Tex Richman: I think I'll call this room the "Kermit the Frog's Old Office Room".

Uncle Deadly: Oh, good one, Mr. Richman.

Bobo: Oh, that is lovely.

Waldorf: Now, ahem, this here is the standard "Rich and Famous" contract Kermit signed 30 years ago that contains...

Tex Richman: The deed to this property.

Waldorf: Exactly.

Waldorf: Now, this contract is 100 percent iron-clad, with one minor exception: if the Muppets can raise the $10 million it would cost to buy the building before this contract expires, then they get their studio back.

Statler: You know, if I didn't know better, I'd say you were reciting some sort of an important plot point.

Waldorf: Well, I hope so; otherwise I just bored the audience half to death.

Statler: You mean half the audience is still alive?

[Statler and Waldorf chuckle]

Waldorf: It's nice doing business with you.

Statler: Yes, sir. Come on.

Waldorf: Good-bye.

Bobo: [to Uncle Deadly] I love geriatric humor.

Mahna Mahna: [sings] Mahna Mahna

Tex Richman: You're breaking the law! I own that name!

Snowth, Snowth: [the Snowths sing] Doo-doo, do-do-doo, do-do do do do do doo.

Gonzo: [with a bowling ball] Hey guys, I think I finally worked out how to - Whoo-ha!

[Gonzo throws the bowling ball and hits Tex Richman]

Fozzie Bear: 'Oil' bet that hurt.

[Tex Richman starts laughing]

The Newsman: This just in: Richman gives back Muppet theater and name. Change of heart, nothing to do with head injury.

Tex Richman: [sings] Mahna Mahna

Snowth, Snowth: [the Snowths sing] Doo-doo, do-do-doo