Terry Doolittle Quotes in Jumpin' Jack Flash (1986)

[trying to decipher the lyrics to Jumpin' Jack Flash]

Terry Doolittle: Mick, Mick, Mick! Speak English!

[Trying to decipher Jumpin' Jack Flash's lyrics]

Terry Doolittle: I was raised by two lesbians? Come on, Mick. Fuck a duck!

Terry Doolittle: Do the world a favor! Get yourself an office! With a desk! And a lamp!

Terry Doolittle: Drag the river! There are killers running around the fucking city!

Detective: How would you like me to wash your mouth out with a wire brush?

Terry Doolittle: How would you like if I kicked you in the nuts so hard they get lodged in your fucking nostrils?

Marty Phillips: My, that's a vivid image, isn't it?

Terry Doolittle: [talking to a police detective who assumes she's a prostitute] What is it with you people? Every time you see a black woman there has to be a pimp or a john? What, do you think there's a lot of work down on the pier for hookers? Do you think I'm giving blow jobs down there to goldfish?

Marty Phillips: [noticing Terry's dress, which has recently been partially run through a shredder] Am I just square, or is there something wrong with your dress?

Terry Doolittle: [glares at him] I got moths. Big, mutant, junkie *moths*!

Marty Phillips: Jesus, Terry. You got a dead guy, you got cops, you got your apartment trashed... what are you getting involved in? What are you doing?

Terry Doolittle: I'm... winging it!

Marty Phillips: [exasperated] Oh, you're winging it!

Terry Doolittle: Yes, I'm winging it, Marty!

Marty Phillips: Well, that's great!

Terry Doolittle: Why, thank you!

[She herds him out the door]

Marty Phillips: Terry...

[She slams the door in his face]

Terry Doolittle: [typing and speaking aloud] What else can I do?

Jack, actual text: [NEED YOU TO CONTACT OTHER AGENTS]

Terry Doolittle: [reading aloud] "Need other c - " Are you crazy? You need more contacts? I work at a bank!

Terry Doolittle: [typing aloud] Who?

Terry Doolittle: [reading aloud] "First go to my apartment in New York and get something for me." God, what do you need? A trenchcoat? A camera? Microfilm! Ooh, ooh...

Terry Doolittle: [typing aloud] What?

Terry Doolittle: [reading aloud] "A frying pan." I'd have probably thought about that next.

Terry Doolittle: I'm a little black woman in a big silver box. On the top of it it says "phone".

Terry Doolittle: [screams] Help!

Terry Doolittle: [into phone] You want a quarter? Kiss my ass! Find me in New York for this fucking quarter!

[at a spa]

Terry Doolittle: What the fuck are you running here, Wild Kingdom?

Mr. Van Meter: Do you mean you're a civilian? You don't know anything about this, do you?

Terry Doolittle: I don't know *dick* about this! Except some guy calling himself "Jumpin' Jack Flash" taps into my computer! Tells me I gotta go to his house and get a frying pan! To call Van Halen... Van Morrison...

Mr. Van Meter: Van Meter.

Terry Doolittle: ...Van Meter!

Detective: Is she on some kind of medication?

Marty Phillips: Not that I know of. Are you on some kind of medication?

Terry Doolittle: Marty! You know, you can talk directly to me, asshole.

Terry Doolittle: Look, he's been shopping at Walgreens again. He's got his Brut collection.

Doug: Hey, at least I'm always ready for ladies.

Terry Doolittle: Hey man, try some soap, you know?

Doug: I did. It got lonely.

Terry Doolittle: I've just had several of the worst days in my young life, Mr. Page, and the last thing I need is some jighead like you to be screaming at me in a whiny voice. If you don't leave me alone, I'm gonna snatch this badboy off your head

[pulls off Page's toupee, he gasps]

Terry Doolittle: and ram it up your ol' chocolate whizway.

Terry Doolittle: Dog's barking, can't fly without umbrella.

Marty Phillips: [after shootout ensues and the criminals are apprehended] Anything you want me to tell Jack?

Terry Doolittle: Yeah. You can tell him not to forget our date.

Cynthia: All this is for a date?

Terry Doolittle: This is great. I mean, I'm down here at 1:30 in the morning on the docks. I should just pin a hundred dollar bill to my ass and scream "Victim here! Victim here!"

[Terry cuts off the Russian video from her computer monitor]

Fred, 1st National Bank: You should have left it on. It's almost time for "Leave it to Brezhnev."

Terry Doolittle: No, it's not. It's time for "Gilligan's Gulag."

Jeremy Talbott: [to his thugs] Don't kill her.

Terry Doolittle: No, no. Don't kill me. You're right.

Jeremy Talbott: She's worthless dead.

Terry Doolittle: Listen to the man.

Jeremy Talbott: We've got to be sure.

Terry Doolittle: That's right, Mr. Talbot.

Jeremy Talbott: So shoot her in the legs.

Jack: Knock knock.

Terry Doolittle: Leave me alone.

Jack: I'm sorry. Unavoidably delayed in London. Queen thanks you.

Terry Doolittle: [typing] Frankly, I don't give a shit about the queen. I did give a shit about you, however. I sat in that restaurant feeling stupid. And hurt.

Terry Doolittle: [stops typing] I mean, what happened to you? All you had to do was come and say "hi" or "thanks" or something. I mean you just left me sitting there. But no, you sent me to a restaurant with shitty bread sticks.

Jack: Sorry. I still want to to take you to dinner.

Terry Doolittle: [typing] Next time I'm in London, I'll look you up.

Terry Doolittle: There is a dead man, floating around in the river!

Terry Doolittle: Liz! Liz! Liz! KGB!

Liz Carlson: Not in front of the kids!

Kristi Carlson: Can I write "KGB" on the cake?

Liz Carlson: No, you may not.

Terry Doolittle: I didn't know that's what happens when you put Ex-Lax in tea.

Terry Doolittle: [while she is drugged with truth serum] Look what they did to this woman - she looks *terrible*!

Receptionist at Elizabeth Arden: It's a man.

Archer Lincoln: Do you know what a pawn is?

Terry Doolittle: [sarcastically] Yes, it's a shrimp.

Archer Lincoln: That's a prawn. A pawn...

Terry Doolittle: ...is the smallest piece on the chessboard!

Archer Lincoln: And the most expendable.

[while she is being chased by thugs]

Terry Doolittle: I got diseases... I got shit that will make your dick fall off!