Terry Crabtree Quotes in Wonder Boys (2000)

Terry Crabtree: [after he lost Grady's manuscript] Naturally you have copies.

Grady Tripp: I have an alternate version of the first chapter.

Terry Crabtree: Let me get this straight. Jerry Nathan owes you money, so as collateral he gives you his car.

Grady Tripp: Only I'm beginning to think that the car wasn't exactly Jerry's to give.

Terry Crabtree: Ah, so whose car was it?

Grady Tripp: My guess? Vernon Hardapple.

Terry Crabtree: The hood jumper?

Grady Tripp: He said a few things that lead me to believe that the car was his.

Terry Crabtree: Such as?

Grady Tripp: "That's my car, motherfucker."

Hannah Green: James will know about George Sanders.

James Leer: George Sanders?

Hannah Green: Mr. Crabtree was saying how George Sanders killed himself, only he couldn't remember how.

James Leer: Pills. April 25, 1972, in a Costa Brava hotel room.

Terry Crabtree: How comprehensive of you.

Hannah Green: James is amazing. He knows all the movie suicides. Go ahead, James. Tell him.

James Leer: There are so many.

Hannah Green: Well, just a few. The big ones.

James Leer: Pier Angeli, 1971 or '72, also pills. Donald "Red" Barry, shot himself in 1980. Charles Boyer, 1978, pills again. Charles Butterworth, 1946, I think. In a car. Supposedly, it was an accident, but, you know, he was distraught. Dorothy Dandridge, pills, 1965. Albert Dekker, 1968. He hung himself. He wrote his suicide note in lipstick on his stomach. William Inge, carbon monoxide, 1973. Carole Landis, pills again. I forget when. George Reeves, "Superman" on TV, shot himself. Jean Seberg, pills, of course, 1979. Everett Sloane - he was good - pills. Margaret Sullavan, pills. Lupe Velez, a lot of pills. Gig Young, he shot himself and his wife in 1978. There are tons more.

Hannah Green: I haven't heard of half of them.

Terry Crabtree: You did them alphabetically.

James Leer: It's just how my brain works, I guess.

[Crabtree and a student drag James, hopped up on codeine, out of the auditorium]

James Leer: The doors made so much noise!

Grady Tripp: Is he all right?

James Leer: It was so embarrassing! He had to be carried out.

Terry Crabtree: He's fine. He's narrating.

James Leer: They were going to the restroom. But would they make it in time?

Terry Crabtree: [Looking at James Leer's book] The Love Parade... I've got a feeling about this, Tripp. I feel this kid in my bones.

Grady Tripp: ONLY in your bones?

Terry Crabtree: So is he any good?

Grady Tripp: No, not yet.

Terry Crabtree: Well, I'm going to read it, anyway.

Grady Tripp: Aw Crabs, C'mon will you? He's one of my students for Christsakes. Besides, I'm not even sure if he's...

Terry Crabtree: He IS. I'm sure, take my word for it, I see myself in him.

Grady Tripp: Oh, I'm sure you do.

Terry Crabtree: I just want you to know I heard everything the whole parents, grandparents, chinatown thing. I believe you. That's why we're here. Go get dressed.

Grady Tripp: She's a transvestite.

Terry Crabtree: You're stoned.

Grady Tripp: She's still a transvestite.

Grady Tripp: Where's the cake?

Terry Crabtree: Right behind you.

Grady Tripp: That's not what I meant.

Antonia "Tony" Sloviak: Oh, that's such a beautiful Greenhouse.

Grady Tripp: It's Mrs. Gaskells, it's her hobby.

Terry Crabtree: I thought YOU were Mrs. Gaskell's hobby.

Grady Tripp: Piss off, will ya Crabs? I lost a wife today.

Terry Crabtree: You'll find another one, you always do. She'll be younger,prettier, they always are.

Terry Crabtree: I hear you raided the Crabtree pharmacopeia?

James Leer: I just want to go home.

Terry Crabtree: Don't be ridiculous, no one your age just wants to go home. Besides, Faculty will be there, just call it a Field Trip.

Terry Crabtree: There must be two dozen windows, how do we find his?

Grady Tripp: I told you, they keep him "chained" in the basement.

Terry Crabtree: Music Coming From Within The Windows Of The Basement - Rodgers & Hart?

Grady Tripp: James Leer.