Templeton Quotes in Charlotte's Web (1973)

Templeton: [reading the clipping] It says "Crunchy."

Charlotte: No, that's wrong. It could start Zuckerman thinking about crunchy bacon.

Wilbur: Ohhh!

Charlotte: [sternly] Wilbur, I forbid you to faint!

[when Templeton sees all the food on the ground at the fair]

Templeton: The goose was right, this fair is a rat's paradise! Bye-bye, my "humble" Wilbur. Fare thee well, Charlotte, you old schemer! This will be a night to remember!

[Templeton returns from a night of overeating]

Templeton: [hiccups] I'm back.

[Charlotte and Wilbur glare at him]

Templeton: What a night! Never have I seen such leavings! Everything well ripened, seasoned with the passage of time and the heat of the day... Oh, it was rich, my friends, riiiiiich!

[hiccups]

Charlotte: You ought to be ashamed of yourself. It would serve you right if you had an acute attack of indigestion.

[Templeton hiccups agains and pats his stomach]

Templeton: My stomach can handle anything.

Wilbur: Templeton, if you weren't so dopey, you would have noticed that Charlotte's made an egg sac.

[Templeton gazes toward the ceiling and sees Charlotte's egg sac]

Templeton: [hiccups] Hooray for Charlotte.

Wilbur: She's going to become a mother. For *your* information, there are 514 eggs in that peachy, little sac.

Templeton: [sarcastically] This *has* been a night.

[Templeton crawls over to Wilbur's pen and hiccups again]

Templeton: What are you doing?

Charlotte: Working.

Templeton: Why so late?

Charlotte: I'll be lucky if I'm finished by sunup. Go to sleep, Templeton.

Templeton: Good night, Charlotte.

Charlotte: Good night, Templeton.

Fern Arable: [Templeton's rotten egg has been squashed under Wilbur's trough, and Fern thinks her brother has passed gas] Ooh! What did you DO, Avery?

Avery Arable: [running away] Good night! What a STINK!

Templeton: Lucky for you I saved that egg, Charlotte.

Charlotte: [reluctantly] Er, yes... and I'm grateful to you, Templeton...

[after the goose's eggs have hatched]

Wilbur: Congratulations! How many are there?

Goose: There are seven.

Charlotte: Seven is a lucky number.

Goose: Luck has nothing to do with it! It was good management and hard work!

Templeton: [looking at a solitary unhatched egg] Why didn't, uh, this one hatch?

Goose: [gloomily] It's a dud, I guess.

Templeton: What are you going to do with it?

Goose: [sternly] You can have it. Roll it away and add it to that nasty collection of yours! Be careful - a rotten egg can be a regular stink bomb!

Templeton: [patting the egg] I know what I'm doing. I handle stuff like this all the time.

[Templeton rolls the egg away and buries it in his hole]

Charlotte: [after Templeton ignored and distracted Charlotte's meeting, he continues to look for food as a cat approaches the fence] Why don't you try over by the fence, Templeton?

Templeton: Huh?

Charlotte: [innocently] Lurvy dropped half a sandwich from his lunch there.

Templeton: Why, thank you, Charlotte!

[goes over to the fence, the cat sees him and tries to pounce over the fence; he flees and the cat leaves]

Templeton: [calling] That wasn't nice, Charlotte!

Charlotte: Perhaps next time I call a meeting Templeton, you'll see fit to attend.

Templeton: You're a pig! Pig equals slop. The rat is happy!

Wilbur: My name's Wilbur! Do you have a name or is it just 'The Rat'?

Templeton: Did you say 'just the rat'? For your information, pig: The rat rules! We were here long before your kind and we'll be here long after. So, you just keep that in mind next time you feel like reducing me to just 'the rat'.

Wilbur: You called yourself 'The Rat'.

Templeton: I can call me that. You can't.

Templeton: Look at her! Don't you think she's a little... uh... what's the word? EW!

Wilbur: I think she's beautiful.

[repeated line]

Templeton: The rat rules!

Charlotte A. Cavatica: You're very kind.

Templeton: Don't go spreading it around.

Wilbur: Templeton, Charlotte is very sick.

Templeton: Yeah, and twisted.

Charlotte A. Cavatica: Templeton, haven't you ever heard that good things come to those who wait?

Templeton: No. Good things come to those who find it and shove it in their mouth!

[Templeton is being chased by two crows and finding shelter inside a tin can]

Templeton: The rat... is not... uh, uh, enjoying this! All this for slop? The rat is desperate. The rat is trapped. The rat needs to stop calling himself "the rat".

Wilbur: [about Charlotte] She's dying! She can't go home with us. So I need you to help me take her egg sac with us.

Templeton: Did you say "eggs"?

Wilbur: It's an egg *sac*, and it's right up there, and it has her children in it. And I can't just leave it here. What if something happened to them? Now, I can't reach it, so I need you to get it for me. And I need you to do it now!

Templeton: I don't think I like your tone.

Wilbur: Can't you just once in your life think of someone other than yourself?

Templeton: Once? Once?

Wilbur: Come on.

Templeton: No, you come on! Who got his hindquarters pecked to make you "radiant," huh? Templeton, that's who. And who interrupted the gorging of a lifetime so you could be "humble"? Why, I think it was... Templeton! Templeton, Templeton, Tem-ple-ton! And do I get thanked? No! Well, has it ever occurred to you that even a rat might like a little appreciation? A little, dare I say, love?

Wilbur: Do it and you'll get dibs on my slop for the rest of my life.

Templeton: Done.

Templeton: [after an egg has smashed over him] Guess the yolk's on me!