Ted Striker Quotes in Airplane! (1980)
Ted Striker Quotes:
[as the plane prepares to take off]
Hanging Lady: Nervous?
Ted Striker: Yes.
Hanging Lady: First time?
Ted Striker: No, I've been nervous lots of times.
Rumack: Can you fly this plane, and land it?
Ted Striker: Surely you can't be serious.
Rumack: I am serious... and don't call me Shirley.
Ted Striker: I flew single engine fighters in the Air Force, but this plane has four engines. It's an entirely different kind of flying, altogether.
Rumack, Randy: [together] It's an entirely different kind of flying.
Ted Striker: It's Lieutenant Hurwitz. Severe shell-shock. Thinks he's Ethel Merman.
Lieutenant Hurwitz: [singing] You'll be swell, you'll be great. Gonna have the whole world on a plate. Startin' here, startin' now. Honey, everything's comin' up roses...
Ted Striker: War is hell.
Ted Striker: Because of my mistake, six men didn't return from that raid.
Elaine Dickinson: Seven. Lieutenant Zip died this morning.
Rex Kramer: [talking to Steve McCroskey] Our only hope is to build this man up. We gotta give him all the confidence we can.
Rex Kramer: Striker, have you ever flown a multi-engine plane before?
Ted Striker: No, never.
Rex Kramer: [to McCroskey, with the microphone still on] Shit! This is a God damn waste of time! There's no way he can land this plane!
Ted Striker: [plane loses an engine] The oil pressure. I forgot to check the oil pressure! When Kramer hears about this, the shit's going to hit the fan!
[in the office, shit hits a fan and splatters all over the room]
Ted Striker: Mayday! Mayday!
Steve McCroskey: What the heck is that?
Johnny: Why, that's the Russian New Year. We can have a parade and serve hot hors d'oeuvres...
Ted Striker: It was at that moment that I first realized Elaine had doubts about our relationship. And that, as much as anything else, led to my drinking problem.
[pours Gatorade into glass and then pours onto left side of his own face]
Elaine Dickinson: You got a letter from headquarters this morning.
Ted Striker: What is it?
Elaine Dickinson: It's a big building where generals meet, but that's not important.
[Elaine is relaying what Ted is saying to Kramer]
Ted Striker: It's a damn good thing he doesn't know how much I hate his guts.
Elaine Dickinson: It's a damn good thing you don't know how much he hates your guts.
[Thinking to himself]
Ted Striker: I've got to concentrate...
[his thoughts echo]
Ted Striker: concentrate... concentrate... I've got to concentrate... concentrate... concentrate... Hello?... hello... hello... Echo... echo... echo... Pinch hitting for Pedro Borbon... Manny Mota... Mota... Mota...
[Flashback, about a bar he frequented during the war]
Ted Striker: It was a rough place - the seediest dive on the wharf. Populated with every reject and cutthroat from Bombay to Calcutta. It's worse than Detroit.
Elaine: It takes so many things to make love last. But most of all, it takes respect, and I can't live with a man I don't respect.
Ted Striker: [turns towards the camera] What a pisser!
[looking at the controls of the airplane as he begins to try to fly it]
Ted Striker: Let's see... altitude: 21,000 feet. Speed: 520 knots. Level flight. Course: zero-niner-zero. Trim and mixture: wash, soak, rinse, spin.
Ted Striker: My orders came through. My squadron ships out tomorrow. We're bombing the storage depots at Daiquiri at 1800 hours. We're coming in from the north, below their radar.
Elaine Dickinson: When will you be back?
Ted Striker: I can't tell you that. It's classified.
Rex Kramer: Don't be a fool, Striker, you know what a landing like this means, you more than anybody. I'm ordering you to stay up there.
Ted Striker: No dice, Chicago. I'm giving the orders and we're coming in. I guess the foot's on the other hand now, isn't it, Kramer?
Rumack: I won't deceive you, Mr. Striker. We're running out of time.
Ted Striker: Surely there must be something you can do.
Rumack: I'm doing everything I can... and stop calling me Shirley!
Rumack: Well, I don't have anything to say, you've done the best you could. You really have, the best you could. You can't expect to win em all. But, I want to tell you something I've kept to myself through these years. I was in the war myself, medical corps. I was on late duty one night when they brought in a badly wounded pilot from one of the raids. He could barely talk. He looked at me and said, "The odds were against us up there, but we went in anyway, I'm glad the Captain made the right decision." The pilot's name was George Zip.
Ted Striker: George Zip said that?
Rumack: The last thing he said to me, "Doc," he said, "some time when the crew is up against it, and the breaks are beating the boys, tell them to get out there and give it all they got and win just one for the Zipper. I don't know where I'll be then, Doc," he said, "but I won't smell too good, that's for sure."
Ted Striker: Excuse me doc, I got a plane to land.
Airport Steward: Smoking or non-smoking?
Ted Striker: Smoking.
[She hands him a boarding pass that is belching out smoke]
Rex Kramer: [points out the window] There he is. Striker, you're coming in too fast!
Ted Striker: I know, I know!
Elaine Dickinson: [relaying] He knows, he knows.
Elaine Dickinson: [Cutting room-floor scene: Flight #209 has gone into yet another nose dive] ... Ted, the altitude! We're falling, Ted! We're falling! *The mountains, Ted! The mountains!*
Ted Striker: What *mountains?* We're over IOWA!
Elaine Dickinson: The... THE CORNFIELDS, TED! THE CORNFIELDS!
[with Randy's help, and as Dr. Rumack looks on, Ted is attempting to figure out how the controls of Flight 209 work]
Elaine Dickinson: Ted! What are you doing here? *You* can't fly this plane!
Ted Striker: That's what I'm trying to *tell* these people!
Browse more character quotes from Airplane! (1980)
Characters on Airplane! (1980)
- Hanging Lady
- Elaine Dickinson
- Young Boy with Coffee
- Roger Murdock
- Captain Oveur
- Steve McCroskey
- Male announcer
- Tower voice
- Victor Basta
- Mrs. Hammen
- Striped controller
- First Jive Dude
- Second Jive Dude
- Jack Kirkpatrick
- Jive Lady
- Lieutenant Hurwitz
- Man in Taxi
- Rex Kramer
- Air Controller Macias
- Airport Steward