Ted Gunther Quotes in The April Fools (1969)

Ted Gunther: Do you type?

Naomi Jackson: You mean... with a machine?

Ted Gunther: [Looking at his piece of sculpture] What does it say to you?

Howard Brubaker: Oh, it's... shouldn't there be something on it?

Ted Gunther: The less that's on it, the more that's in it. That's art today. In any case, the safest response is, "It makes it's own quiet statement." And you can bet your ass it cost me a bundle.

Howard Brubaker: You don't understand. It was nothing like that. See, she's... she's a princess and I'm a frog who got changed into a prince.

Ted Gunther: Brubaker...

Howard Brubaker: Now I was a prince at first.

Ted Gunther: That's enough, Brubaker...

Howard Brubaker: But then I got changed into a frog until her kiss.

Ted Gunther: Brubaker, you're not a frog.

Howard Brubaker: Right.

Ted Gunther: As cruel as that may seem in your current state, I want you to recognize that as the truth.

Howard Brubaker: I'm not a frog now. I'm a prince. But I was a frog.

Ted Gunther: Brubaker, repeat this simple sentence after me. "I am not now nor have I ever been a frog."

Howard Brubaker: No.

Ted Gunther: Repeat, Brubaker. "I am not now nor have I ever been a frog."

Howard Brubaker: [Shakes his head and starts to leave]

Ted Gunther: Brubaker. You need some rest. You also need to consult a doctor. Either a psychiatrist... or a veterinarian.

Ted Gunther: Gunther's the name. Buy you a drink?

Catherine Gunther: It's too late. When there's no love...

Ted Gunther: Love? What's love got to do with it? This is the 20th century!