Taylor Quotes in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)

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Taylor Quotes:

  • Taylor: Mom, can I move back home?

  • Matt Farrell: Jesus Christ. It's a fire sale.

    John McClane: What?

    Matt Farrell: It's a fire sale.

    Deputy Director Miguel Bowman: Hey! We don't know that yet.

    Taylor: Yeah, it's a myth anyway. It can't be done.

    Matt Farrell: Oh, it's a myth? Really? Please tell me she's only here for show and she's actually not in charge of anything.

    John McClane: Hey, what's a fire sale?

    Matt Farrell: It's a three-step... it's a three-step systematic attack on the entire national infrastructure. Okay, step one: take out all the transportation. Step two: the financial base and telecoms. Step three: You get rid of all the utilities. Gas, water, electric, nuclear. Pretty much anything that's run by computers which... which today is almost everything. So that's why they call it a fire sale, because everything must go.

  • Taylor: Johnson, how is the Captain gonna authorize a surprise birthday party for himself?

  • Taylor: [as Nova slowly dies, gunned down by a gorilla] Well, that tears it. Maybe we should just let the world blow up. The gorillas, every damned... what it comes to.

    [with a dry little man-sob of despair]

    John Brent: [Intense, full of fury] Taylor, come on. Come on!

    Taylor: Yeah.

  • Taylor: [his final words to Dr. Zaius] You... bloody... bastard!

  • Taylor: That wasn't here. A minute ago, that wasn't here. I'm not the only one. She heard it too.

  • Hunter: Do you think I'm pretty?

    Taylor: Sometimes I want to kill you because you're so pretty. Seriously, I think of killing you a lot.

    Hunter: Aww, that's so sweet.

  • Taylor: [about Parker] I don't know whether he's a psycho or just crazy.

    Hardwick: He may be a psycho but he's definately not crazy.

  • Taylor: Why do you have to be so mean?

    Mia: Because it's fun!

  • Taylor: I got two words for you, bro. Where the fuck is my Elton John CD?

  • Taylor: Well, we should probably poke around in there anyhow, despite your astute, predator-like sense of hearing.

  • Taylor: You don't even watch football, sissy.

    Vaughn: I watch it, I just don't understand it. The merit of working that hard to carry a ball across a chalk line is completely lost on me.

  • Gil: What's the matter, honey? You don't feel so good?

    Taylor: Yeah.

    Gil: You feel like you wanna throw up?

    Taylor: Okay.

    [vomits all over Gil, and starts crying]

    Karen: Oh Taylor, baby... Gil, why are you standing there?

    Gil: Waiting for her head to spin around.

  • [In the car after the baseball game, Kevin is singing "The Diarrhea Song" while Taylor laughs]

    Kevin Buckman: When you're sliding into first and you're feeling something burst, diarrhea, diarrhea. When you're sliding into third and you feel a juicy turd, diarrhea, diarrhea. When you're sliding into home and your pants are full of foam, diarrhea, diarrhea. When you're driving in your Chevy and your pants are feeling heavy, diarrhea, diarrhea.

    Karen: Kevin, honey, where did you learn that song?

    Kevin Buckman: Last summer at camp, Mom.

    Gil: Ah, that was money well spent.

    JustinTaylorKevin Buckman: When you're sliding into first and you're feeling something burst, diarrhea, diarrhea.

  • Gil: [lights went out unexpectedly and have just been turned on. Gil thinks he has a flashlight but is holding a vibrator] What's this?

    [switches vibrator on]

    Gil: [lights come up, Gil laughs and leaves the room]

    Taylor: Mommy, what was that?

    Karen: That was... an electric ear cleaner.

    Taylor: It was kind of big.

    Grandma: It sure was!

  • Taylor: [Taylor is pretending the coffee he and Bill are drinking is champagne] I propose a toast.

    Bill: So what should we toast?

    Taylor: Oh, god... Paris, in the 1920's. Josephine Baker, the Moulin Rouge. Q'est-ce que c'est...

    [mutters, trails off]

    Bill: And also, New York, in the 70's. The late 70's.

    Taylor: Really? Oh, alright.

    Bill: [they touch cups] Cheers.

    Taylor: Cheers.

    [they sip their coffee]

    Bill: Mmm. Délicieux, isn't it?

    Taylor: Oh, champagne; nectar of the Gods.

  • Flash Harry: What's this then? A sweet? A mini cigar?

    [sucks on the end]

    Taylor: They're tampons Flash.

    [disgusted gagging noise as Flash spits it out]

    Taylor: Women don't just want to feel beautiful on the outside!

  • Taylor: I was left for another man. And not just any other man, a trainer. A trainer named Dash. I was left for a punctuation mark.

  • Cole: Thank God you're home.

    Dennis: Thanks to Mufasa here, it's now a Tunisian hut.

    Taylor: Why do I even try?

  • Dennis: Where is my living room?

    Taylor: Oh it's still here, I just shifted it around a little.

    Dennis: No, this is YOUR living room. You didn't shift my living room around, you shifted my living room out and your living room in. So, where is my living room?

    Taylor: Distributed evenly around the house.

    Dennis: Distribute it back.

    Taylor: It took me all day!

    Dennis: So now you'll be done in time to set your curlers for bed.

    Taylor: Okay Dennis, look at it this way: a new furniture arrangement is like a new hairstyle, you have to live with it for a few days before you can tell whether you really like it or not.

    Dennis: That is not true. I haven't had a shag, but I wouldn't have to live with one for a few days to know that I don't want one.

  • Taylor: I hear Kip Rodgers is a big fag.

    Dennis: Kip Rodgers is not gay, he's married.

    Taylor: Oh please, that's right up there with "He's not gay, he's in a fraternity."

  • Taylor: No Streisand, no Bette, no Judy? What the fuck's a fairy supposed to do around here in case of an emergency?

    Patrick: There's gotta be something.

    Howie: I'm looking.

    [pulls out a CD]

    Howie: Celine Dion?

    Taylor: In Hell!

  • Patrick: Oh great! This is what I get for trying to be a friend.

    Taylor: Well we obviously have two different interpretations of that word!

    Patrick: What's that supposed to mean?

    Taylor: It means that when it comes to men, you delight in being the bearer of bad news for all of us. You can disguise it all you want under the guise of 'Patrick's Good Advice' but it ain't shit but a pin... trying to pop all of our relationship balloons! Yeah, I knew Paul was sleeping with other people, but he told me we'd work it out. He promised we'd work it out.

    Patrick: He lied!

  • Cole: Is there a sentence that you don't start with "as a person in a long-term relationship"?

    Taylor: It speaks on my authority, in matters of the heart.

    Cole: It speaks of your boyfriend's insanity!

  • Howie: There isn't a movie in the cinema canon that depicts a gay character that we would aspire to be. What are our options... noble, suffering AIDS victims, the friends of noble suffering AIDS victims, sex addicts, common street hustlers and the newest addition to the lot, stylish confidantes to lovelorn women. Just once I would like to see someone who is not sick, hasn't been laid in about three months and is behind on his student loans.

    Benji: And that is someone you would aspire to be?

    Taylor: Right?

  • Taylor: I-I-if you're going to break up with somebody, at least have the decency to provide them with better lighting.

  • Flip: Yeah, I heard tell once dudes that a guy has about 4,000 times in him before he's all used up.

    Milo: It's fucking bullshit.

    Danny: More like forty thousand.

    Otis: In your dreams, stick man.

    Danny: Add it up, two times a day, seven days a week for what... I don't know 40 years?

    Taylor: Two times a day?

    Otis: Who the fuck gets to do it two times a fucking day?

    Danny: Me and Jess used to.

    Otis: Two times a day, seven days a week, 52 weeks a year...

    Danny: Me and Jess used to do it five times a day.

    Taylor: For forty years? What about hangovers? What about christmas day? How the fuck are you going to do it five times on a Christmas Day while the family is sitting around carving up the turkey?

    Danny: Make up for it at night with the wife.

    Taylor: Wife? What wife? You haven't had a wife in over six months.

    Danny: I haven't got a problem getting women. I've got this thing I do that make them go gaga.

    Otis: How exactly do you mean gaga?

    Danny: Gaga. Insane, beserk, talking in tongues, you know... gaga.

    Milo: What like some sort of secret weapon?

    Flip: Some kind of weird sideways movement?

    Danny: I can't really say flip, but its pretty special. Though it could be worth a lot of money.

    Taylor: Let's just get this straight. You're 20-something years old, you have no job, no money, very few prospescts. You haven't been seen in the vicinity of anything which even faintly resembles a member of the opposite sex in over 6 months. And yet you sit here and tell us that you have some kind of special thing that makes the other side go gaga. Well if it makes them go so fucking gaga what the fuck are you doing here with us losers?

    Flip: He's got a point there Danster.

    Danny: Well I didn't say it fixed all the emotional stuff did I?

  • Taylor: Do you reckon I should look at P for prostitue or E for escort?

  • Danny: Tyler, These friends of yours. They wouldn't be by any chance Nazi's would they?

    Taylor: ...I prefer to call them politically challenged.

  • Taylor: 500 fights, that's the number I figured when I was a kid. 500 street fights and you could consider yourself a legitimate tough guy. You need them for experience. To develop leather skin. So I got started. Of course along the way you stop thinking about being tough and all that. It stops being the point. You get past the silliness of it all. But then, after, you realize that's what you are.

  • Taylor: That's about the only thing you can count on in this life, there's nobody that wouldn't hurt you... if it helped them.

  • Storeowner: I got nothing for you my friend.

    Taylor: I checked the meter on my machines. Now they've had plenty of play. I gave you that key so you could borrow a little, float yourself for a few days. But half of that money is mine, and I want it.

    Storeowner: What can I tell you, Taylor? I run a business here. I have expenses. If I'm not paying fast enough for you, turn 'em off. Take them out of the store.

    Storeowner: [Taylor leaves and comes back with a crowbar] What the fuck are you doing? Are you crazy? They're your own fucking machines! Don't do this to me, por favor.

    Taylor: The milk guy's getting paid... the potato chip guy's getting paid... the beer guy's getting paid... every-fucking-body's getting paid, and you look through me? You fuck!

    Storeowner: I got it, I got it. It's right here.

  • Taylor: So this is 'The Daddy' - the 'ardcase. Carlin, is it? Don't look much to me, Carlin... you're the little toerag who thumped the officer at Rowley... fancy yerself do ya, Carlin? Thumpin' officers, eh?

  • Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Pickett!

    Pickett: Sir, yes, sir!

    Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: 0300. Infantry. Toe Jam!

    Toe Jam: Sir, yes, sir!

    Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: 0300. Infantry. Adams!

    Adams: Sir, yes, sir!

    Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: 1800. Engineers. You go out and find mines. Cowboy!

    Private Cowboy: Sir, yes, sir!

    Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: 0300. Infantry. Taylor!

    Taylor: Sir, yes, sir!

    Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: 0300. Infantry. Joker!

    Private Joker: Sir, yes, sir!

    Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: 4212. Basic Military Journalism. You gotta be shittin' me, Joker. You think you're Mickey Spillane? You think you're some kind of a fuckin' writer?

    Private Joker: Sir, I wrote for my high school newspaper, sir!

    Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Jesus H. Christ! You're not a writer. You're a killer!

    Private Joker: A killer, yes, sir!

    Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Gomer Pyle. GOMER PYLE!

    Private Gomer Pyle: [staring into space] Sir, yes, sir!

    Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: You forget your fuckin' name? 0300. Infantry. You made it.

  • Max: [Casey walks quickly into the hotel and knocks and Max's door] Hey.

    [she emotionally embraces him]

    Max: Everything alright?

    Casey Benson: No.

    Max: [Casey retracts from the hug and walks into the room] Well, I um, I wasn't really expecting you. I...

    [Casey sees a familiar fancy purse and sees shoes and a rumpled bed and Taylor chuckles]

    Taylor: [chuckles and emerges holding an alcoholic drink] Oh, hey Casey.

    [shrugs a little]

    Taylor: Gonna join us?

    Max: [softly] Hey, I thought you and I were gonna get together tonight.

    [disappointed and hurt, Casey throws in the towel and simply walks out, throwing her hands up in defeat. Max looks after her and quickly looks to a beautiful yet numb-looking lingerie-clad Taylor distracted on the sofa]

  • Taylor: Man, I'm so hungry I could eat my own ass.

    Alex: [laughs] We'll go halves.

  • Taylor: I'd say that the world holds better things for the both of us.

    Brody: Maybe. But all this would have been just fine with me.

  • Taylor: [talking about Robbie] He wants to be a man.

    Diane: Well, there are a lot of ways to be a man. I'm not sure wearing claw marks and warpaint is one of them.

    Taylor: How would you know?

    Diane: What?

    Taylor: You're not a man, are you?

    Diane: OK, I'm not a man. But you're not a mother. It is my job to do everything I can to make my children part of a normal world. A world of schools and friends and lovers and families of they're own someday.

    Taylor: Well, that's good.

    Diane: Right, I know. And I hope that they'll learn to forget all of this soon.

    Taylor: You can't learn by forgetting.

    Diane: Well, what would you have me do? I mean they're just children for God's sake.

    Taylor: Children have fought wars. They have built nations. They are strong and have courage. Don't treat them any less than that because they're young.

  • Steve Freeling: [to Taylor] You can stay in the house, OK. You can have my aura, my spirits, the ghosts, the whole deal, the whole casaba. But keep your hands off my car, OK. Hands off! Its worse than it was before.

    Taylor: Car's still angry, huh?

    Steve Freeling: Angry? That car is pissed!

  • [last lines]

    Taylor: Your car.

    Steve Freeling: Yeah, well its happy.

    Taylor: Not yet.

    Steve Freeling: How are we gonna make it happy?

    Taylor: It wants to come home with me.

    Steve Freeling: You asked it?

    Taylor: Yes.

    Steve Freeling: OK, its yours, take it.

    Diane: We thank you.

    Steve Freeling: It started right up.

    Robbie Freeling: Dad, you gave our car away?

    Steve Freeling: Yes.

    Diane: But Steven, we have no... we need a ride home.

    Steve Freeling: Taylor, whoa! That car needs me, Taylor.

  • Steve: Taylor! Taylor, where the hell were you? We're not safe here anymore. My son almost died and you just sit here.

    Taylor: I was protecting Carol Anne. It's her he's after, not Robbie, not you or Diane.

  • Taylor: Children have fought wars, have built nations. They are strong and have courage, don't treat them any less THAN that because they're young.

  • Steve Freeling: Are you in cahoots with the lady in there?

    Taylor: I cahoot with no one.

  • Steve Freeling: [Taylor is standing in the front door] Who the hell are you?

    Taylor: Name's Taylor.

    Steve Freeling: Great, good name!

    [to his family]

    Steve Freeling: Come on, let's go!

    Taylor: Tangina Barrons sent me.

    Steve Freeling: Oh yeah? Well say hello to the magic munchkin for us, will you?

  • Taylor: Your car?

    Steve Freeling: [sees smoke coming from the engine] Yeah?

    Taylor: Very angry.

    Steve Freeling: Uh huh.

    Taylor: I'll fix it.

    Steve Freeling: Make it happy?

    Taylor: Yes.

    Steve Freeling: OK.

  • Taylor: You feel like a leaf at the mercy of the wind, don't you?

    Steve Freeling: Yeah, that's right. That's me.

    Taylor: Since the day you were born one way or another, someone has been doing something to you.

    Steve Freeling: No I... I don't think that's true.

    Taylor: And they've been doing something to you against your will, and now you're feeling helpless, like a leaf in the wind.

    Steve Freeling: Taylor, it would help me out a lot if you just say what's on your mind so I can understand you.

    Taylor: You understand me. No matter how much you like to feel sorry for yourself, you have to change that. I'm a warrior. A warrior would rather be defeated and die, than act against his nature. That is the path you have chosen to take, whether you know it or not. You should assume full responsibility.

    Steve Freeling: Responsibility for what?

    Taylor: Responsibility for everything. Everything in your world.

  • Taylor: He's still here. He feels she belongs to him.

    Diane: But why?

    Taylor: I'm not sure, but he's used to getting what he wants.

    Steve Freeling: Taylor, who is he? What is he?

    Taylor: He's a man filled with the demon, lost in a dimension that surrounds our world. This entity believes that his world and ours are the same.

    Diane: But why doesn't he know he's dead?

    Taylor: Because he isn't.

    Steve Freeling: But how can that be?

    Taylor: Nothing really dies, like when a caterpillar becomes a butterfly. Death only transforms us into another state of being. This man was evil, and his soul remains evil, because he chooses not to see the light, and pass on to another state of consciousness.

    Steve Freeling: How are we gonna beat this thing?

    Taylor: Until we learn how to defeat him, we do not let him win.

    Steve Freeling: [sarcastically] That's a hell of a plan! That's a lot of crap!

    Diane: I suppose you have a plan of your own?

    Steve Freeling: THAT'S A LOT OF CRAP!

    Taylor: Listen, don't come apart now. This spirit is very clever. He knows your strength is your love, and he hates you for that. He's been trying to pull this family apart, and he will continue to try. If he succeeds, he will possess Carol-Anne... and destroy your spirit.

  • Taylor: [sees Steve laughing about something] Funny?

    Steve Freeling: Well, I love the health club I'm just wondering when I get the key to my locker.

    Taylor: Sense of humor, that's good. You're gonna need it.

  • Taylor: [after breathing an enchanted smoke into Steve's mouth] Smoke, make him one with power and knowledge.

  • Taylor: You must take your family back to Cuesta Verde.

    Steve Freeling: What?

    Taylor: The evil spirit that is stalking you. It knows who you are. Where you are. How to find you. What your weaknesses are. Your best bet would be to confront him, surprise him on his own ground.

    Steve Freeling: But Taylor, what about Diane and the kids?

    Taylor: They are your power, and you are they'res.

    Steve Freeling: Are things desperate Taylor?

    Taylor: What you see as desperate, I see as inevitable.

  • Taylor: Join together. The light of the family can defeat him. This is the moment you've been moving towards all your lives.

  • Tangina Barrons: [the Freelings have defeated Kane] Thank God, thank God!

    Taylor: [to Steve] Some battle, huh?

  • Taylor: This is an illusion. The Beast lies! Go through the flames, now!

  • Taylor: The trouble with me is I can never say what I really feel, what I really think. You do. It's one of the things I like about you.

    Marty: You're very nice.

    Taylor: I try not to be. I do try.

  • Marty: My mother always said I'd marry two men.

    Taylor: Ah, only two?

    Marty: Yes, but at the same time.

    Taylor: At the same time? She said that?

    Marty: No, it's my own idea. It's a secret desire, I confess it. I wouldn't live with both.

    Taylor: No?

    Marty: No, I'd divide my time. I'd have one one week and the other the next.

    Taylor: Very nice. I'm just thinking what my mother would say.

    Bert: She would find it... somewhat irregular.

    Taylor: Somewhat irregular? God.

  • Marty: Don't go.

    Taylor: If I don't go now, I never will... I mean it!

  • Taylor: What's more sexy than a man and his ironing board? Those perfectly pressed cuffs? Starch makes me horny. Mmm.

    Whitney: Are you a dirty little slut that needs dry cleaning?

  • Aldo: And how are the coupons, Mrs. Brady?

    Whitney: I already saved us ten bucks.

    Aldo: You are gonna make a great wife someday.

    Whitney: Is that a proposal, big guy?

    Taylor: Oh, no way. Aldo loves variety. He could never settle for just one guy.

  • Taylor: Just tell Whit I want to be left alone. I need a little Taylor time.

    Aldo: How about a goodbye rub?

  • Taylor: Booty call.

    Tara: Don't YOU know how to make a girl feel special!

  • Taylor: How are the tampons, Whit?

    Whitney: Why? You need one?

    Taylor: Do your shoes match your bag?

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Characters on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)