Tabloid Reading Customer Quotes in Clerks (1994)
Tabloid Reading Customer Quotes:
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Randal Graves: So, your argument is that title dictates behavior?
Dante Hicks: What?
Randal Graves: The reason you won't let me use your car is because I have a title and a job description, and I'm supposed to follow it, right?
Dante Hicks: Exactly.
Tabloid Reading Customer: I saw one, one time, that said, "The next week, the world is ending." And in the next week's paper, they said, "We were miraculously saved at the zero hour by a koala-fish mutant bird." Crazy shit.
Randal Graves: So, I'm no more responsible for my decisions here than, say, a Death Squad soldier in Bosnia?
Dante Hicks: Oh, now, that's stretching it. You're not being asked to slay children or anything.
Randal Graves: Yeah, not yet.
[takes a drink of water]
Tabloid Reading Customer: And I remember this one time-
[Randal spits water at him]
Tabloid Reading Customer: I'm going to break your fucking head! You fucking jerk-off!
Dante Hicks: Sir! Sir, I'm sorry! He meant to hit me.
Tabloid Reading Customer: Yeah, well, he missed!
Dante Hicks: Yeah, I know. Here, let me refund your money, and we'll call it even, alright?
Tabloid Reading Customer: I'll never come in here again.
[to Randal]
Tabloid Reading Customer: And if I see you again, I'm gonnna break your fucking head open!
[Randal salutes him as he leaves]
Dante Hicks: What the fuck'd you do that for?
Randal Graves: Two reasons. One, I hate it when people can't shut up about the stupid tabloid headlines.
Dante Hicks: Oh, Jesus!
Randal Graves: And two, to prove a point. Title does not dictate behavior.
Dante Hicks: What?
Randal Graves: If title dictated my behavior, as a clerk serving the public, I wouldn't be allowed to spit water at that guy. But I did. So, my point is that people dictate their own behavior. Even though I work in a video store, I choose to go rent movies at Big Choice. Agreed?
Dante Hicks: [gives Randal his car keys] You are a danger to both the dead and the living.
Randal Graves: I like to think I'm a master of my own destiny.
Dante Hicks: Please, get the hell outta here.
Randal Graves: You know I'm your hero.
Browse more character quotes from Clerks (1994)
Characters on Clerks (1994)
- Indecisive Video Customer
- Randal Graves
- Dante Hicks
- Customer with Diapers
- Blue Collar Man
- Veronica Loughran
- Caged Animal Masturbator
- Olaf Oleeson
- Cat Admiring Bitter Customer
- Bed Wetting Dad
- Video Confusion Customer
- Low I.Q. Video Customer
- Cold Coffee Lover
- Candy Confusion Customer
- Hubcap Searching Customer
- Caitlin Bree
- Burner Looking for Weed
- Willam Black
- Chewlies Gum Rep
- Angry Smoking Crowd
- Woolen Cap Smoker
- Smoker #1
- Smoker #2
- Sign Outside Quick Stop
- Sanford
- #812 Wynarski
- Offended Customer
- Dental School Video Customer