Syd Quotes in Bad Boys II (2003)

Marcus Burnett: [referring to the loose swimming pool ladder] Get my screwdriver! Damn bolts.

Theresa: Don't mind him. He's just upset because he was injured.

Syd: Is he okay?

Theresa: His wound is fine. It's, um... *other things* that were affected.

Syd: Oh... oh!

Marcus Burnett: [looks up at her] Theresa!

Theresa: What?

Marcus Burnett: [to Syd] It's just nerve damage.

[to Theresa]

Marcus Burnett: You not gonna spoil this... I'll talk to you about it.

Mike Lowery: [while driving] All right, everybody start shooting at somebody! Shoot! Shoot!

[everyone does, then]

Marcus Burnett: Shit, I'm out!

Mike Lowery: [checks his pistol] I got two rounds left.

Marcus Burnett: [checks his pistol] One in the chamber.

Syd: [checks her pistol] I'm out.

Mike Lowery: All these guns in here, and don't none of y'all got no bullets?

Tito Vargas: I got one, in my hip!

Syd: Oh God, he's hit!

Marcus Burnett: To the DEA you're nothing but a honeypot.

Syd: What did you say?

Marcus Burnett: It's no wonder you got the job because you look good in a bathing suit.

Mike Lowery: Vargas, abort, abort! We're not gonna make it to the tunnel! Go to Plan B! We're going to Plan B!

Marcus Burnett: What Plan B?

Mike Lowery: [pause] You don't pay attention to SHIT! That's your problem...!

[they start arguing in the middle of the gunfight]

Syd: Are you fucking shitting me? LET'S GO!

Mike Lowery: [to Marcus] Follow me, FOLLOW ME!

Detective Mateo Reyes: [in the escape tunnel] Plan B? What the hell is Plan B?

Mike Lowery: Marcus is not very happy with me right now.

Syd: Mike

Mike Lowery: No no, Syd, I'm telling you that is Scarface limping around in there. No, really we need to give that boy a few minutes to let his butt heal up good.

Syd: We like each other, what's the big deal? I'm just going to tell him right now because this is dumb.

Mike Lowery: Whoa, whoooo, hold up, hold up. I'm going to tell him, I mean it ain't like I'm going to tell him.

Syd: When?

Mike Lowery: I just need a minute. I mean we're not vibin' I just... need a minute.

Syd: Mike, he's my brother. Ok? Don't be scared. Toughen up, chief.

Mike Lowery: Oh hey. I didn't say I was scared. Just something wrong with your brother.

Mike Lowery: Remember when I went to New York? And I said, "Syd". I ran into Syd. I mean, Syd ran into me. In New York on the street. And I said, "wassup?" and we was hungry. So then she had fish. It was grouper. Then I had some chicken. I was supposed to come home, but I didn't.

Syd: We went out on a date. Five, actually. Now we're seeing each other.

Mike Lowery: Wait. Hold up. Out of respect for you, Marcus, nothin' happened.

Marcus Burnett: Hey Mike. Why are you trippin' man?

Mike Lowery: We wanted to make sure that you was cool with it.

Marcus Burnett: Doesn't matter what I think, you know? Hey, I had to find out like this, right? Don't matter. Let me ask you a question. Were you all gonna have babies? A little bunch of mini-Mikes? Huh, a bunch of little lyin' violent motherfuckers?

Mike Lowery: Marcus, nothing happened!

Marcus Burnett: I just want to say, momma's going to be thrilled.

Mike Lowery: You know what? You need to go 'woo-saw' something for a second.

Marcus Burnett: Woo-saw.

Syd: What do you look for in a woman?

Dex: Uh... Low Standards.

Dex: Doing stuff is overrated. Like Hitler. He did a lot. But don't we all wish he woulda just stayed home and gotten stoned?

Syd: Oh, I see. So you're only options are to get stoned or commit genocide?

Syd: Don Giovanni slept with thousands of women because he was afraid he wouldn't be loved by one.

Dex: Y'know, no one ever says, "Hey, God, how was your day? What can I do for you, God?" Or, "Hey, God, did you catch Letterman last night?"

Syd: Oh, and I suppose you talk to God like that?

Dex: Always. All the time.

Syd: And what does God say?

Dex: He says, "You know what? I saw Letterman and it sucked."

Syd: I made a schedule on my computer.

Dex: How Marcia Brady of you!

Dex: But I think seriously that most people want a composite of the opposite sex. Ya know, cuz you gals aren't ever going to find Antonio Banderas with the personality of Fred MacMurray. And I'm never going to get Rachel Welch with the personality of Lucille Ball.

Syd: What's wrong with just Lucille Ball?

Rick: What's wrong with just Rachel Welch?

Dex: Amen! I mean my biggest fear is that I'm gonna marry the woman that I want to hang out with and talk to in my golden years and then die in a fiery car crash when I'm forty and I miss all those years of having sex.

Maggie: [to Dex] But you've never been happy with any women you've dated.

Dex: Well, that's Male Insanity Syndrome. Ya know, that is just you're with a woman and no matter how cool she is, you're always thinking "Maybe I could do a little better or I could trade up somehow.

Syd: "Trade up?"

[Dex takes a substantial hit off a bong at 7:30am]

Syd: Would you describe this as a typical morning for you?

Dex: [Trying not to exhale] Hell no. Usually I spend this time cross-training.

Syd: So, you smoke pot for breakfast, you work part time, and you...

Dex: ...have limited potential.

Dex: You couldn't resist my powerful penetrating stare, could you?

Syd: No, I wanted to tell you, you had a huge glob of guacamole on your shirt.

Syd: Okay, so, if you're falling in love with me, you... why are you with all these other women?

Dex: Oh, come on. Am I supposed to remain celibate while I bask in like the warm glow of your annihilating contempt?

[At night, in their tents]

Dex: Good night, Rick!

Rick: Good night, Dex.

Dex: Good night, Maggie!

Maggie: Good night, John Boy.

Dex: Goodnight, Syd.

Syd: MY GOD DO YOU EVER STOP TALKING?

Dex: Did you just kiss my boo boo?

Syd: Did it help?

Dex: A little. You might have to do it again.

Syd: I don't want god to punish you.

Dex: Okay.

Syd: I wanna punish you.

Syd: If any part of you touches any part of me, I have a knife.

Dex: Why would I lie about a spider?

Syd: You lied about the spider so you could get in my tent, so...

Dex: So what?

Syd: So you could... you know, make a move on me.

Dex: You are such a self-aggrandizing, solipsistic ego queen, you don't even know.

Syd: Did you just say solipsistic?

Dex: I most certainly did.

Syd: I love that word.

Dex: I do too.

Syd: Don't even think about it.

Dex: ...solipsistic

Syd: Alright, yer 'fugees now. Show Syd the 'fugee face. Sad face.

[goofy frown]

Syd: Sad 'fugee face.

Syd: When that first wave of anxiety hits it's fucking terrifying because you're like fuck, "maybe I'm really going crazy. Maybe I've finally done enough drugs and fucked with my head enough that I've just detached from reality." You know? You know... you start having these horrible revelations.

Mallory: Like what?

Syd: Like I started freaking out about death. You know... I became obsessed with it. I just couldn't conceptualize not being here. Just not being here someday. One day, Mallory, you and I are gonna be dead. Buried. Gone. And you start thinking about religion. And how people are just blindly swallowing these concepts like God, and heaven, and afterlife... just to suppress our deepest most fears... which is that we don't know why we're here. Why are we here? It makes no sense!

Mallory: It totally makes sense! Okay. Because the same time as us people, the masses, to go on living their every day lives without constantly obsessing over these things you're talking about, man. You know... these realities: life, death; heaven, hell; existence; why we're here. You know... who knows... it's possible that a god does exist. You know... an energy, force, spirit... whatever you wanna call it.

Syd: Right. Sure.

Mallory: I believe that.

Syd: Fine. Fair enough. So what do you think happens when you die?

Mallory: I don't fucking know! You fucking die. Why does there have to be an answer to every fucking question? Why can't there just be mysteries in the world? You know what I'm saying? I don't know... your body dies! Your actual physical being dies! But your spirit, I do believe, lives on. It lives on in the world. Man, it's a continuing thing of... of existence, dude. It doesn't have to have a fucking perfect answer. Why?

Syd: Alright, fine. I buy that a little bit more than an invisible guy in the sky taking checks and balances on 6 billion people. I think that sounds like Santa Claus to me. You know.

Mallory: Yeah, yeah.

Syd: It's like a fairy tale for adults who can't handle death.

Bateman: You know, they say the greatest conversation you'll ever have is with a stranger?

Syd: Who says that?

Bateman: Some useless cunt.

Bateman: Motherfucker, you wanna know what it is? Pain, my friend is when the woman you love wants to fuck you four, five times a night and you can't!

Syd: Why?

Bateman: Why? Why? I'll tell you why, because I'm an impotent man! Motherfucker, that's pain! That's fucking pain! When your wife wants to fuck you four times a night and you fucking can't! You know that some fucker before you could. And you know that some fucker after you will! Well, I couldn't cope with that, could I? That sense of ruination. That insolvency that burns in your soul. I couldn't fuck my wife! Do know what that fucking means, mate? Do you understand what impotent rage really is?

Syd: I'm sorry.

Bateman: You're sorry? Oh, you're sorry, are you? You dare, you fucking dare ask me if there's a God? Well, man, I feel forsaken! I feel cheated, you cunt! I've lost in the big game, and nothing else fucking matters. It doesn't matter what you do. If you can't hack it in the sack, mate, if you can't hack it in the game of love and sex, then you are shit, my friend. Because you can't do what the other man can do to your fucking wife, mate!

Syd: I know what you mean.

Bateman: No, motherfucker, you do not know what I mean! You couldn't possibly know what the fuck I mean! I failed. I fucking failed, mate. And I'm still failing every fucking day of my life! Every day. Every fucking day.

Syd: Ever since you and I broke up, I've wanted to have a normal conversation, just a normal conversation with you. And I just feel like everytime I see you, it just gets like so wierd and chaotic and scrambles, and I can't organize my thoughts and I can't even express the most basic words I want to say to you.

London: I know. Me too.

Syd: Whatever we had when we were together, when we were in love that feeling of just being able to lie in bed for days and not give a fuck about the outside world... is gone. And I feel like there's nothing I can do to ever get it back. Do you know how painful that is?

London: Yeah, yeah I do. I cried for weeks when we broke up.

Syd: You cried for weeks?

London: Yes.

London: The hardest thing I've ever dealt with in my life.

Syd: How long did you go through that?

London: A long time. A long time. I mean, the first month, it was so fucking bad. And then you know, slowly, it gets better.

Syd: That's the difference between you and me London. I'm still going through it.

London: I've been calling you a dozen times today. I'm terrified. I'm - I'm afraid.

Syd: Of what? What are you afraid of?

London: I'm afraid of falling in love with you again.

Syd: [talking to himself] All right, all right, all right, come on. Come on, Syd. You gotta mellow out. You gotta mellow out. You need a beer. You need a bottle. Ok. Stop doing blow. You gotta stop doing coke. Don't grind your teeth. If she sees you grind your teeth, you're fucked. Come on, Syd. Mellow out, mellow out. Be a man. Be a man. There, get a drink. Go out there, get a drink. What's the worse that can happen, right? What's the worse that can happen? I can see London, so what? Fuck, fuck. Ok, you fuck up tonight, it's over. Ok.

London: And your ego, your ego is just huge! It's out of fucking control!

Syd: Why are you freaking out? There's no need to freak out.

London: Syd, because you don't know when to stop. You keep going and going and going, until people just wanna smash your face in!

Syd: Can I ask you something?

London: Yeah.

Syd: Do you love him?

London: I never that I was in love with him.

London: Syd? Its gonna be a really really long time before, you know, I fall in love with anybody the way that I was in love with you.

Syd: The bottom line, London, is that I have known you since you were ten fucking years old, we have been through everything together, and you don't even have the decency to tell me you're moving across the fucking country.

Lucy: What's wrong?

Syd: [crying] I think I'm kind of in love with you.

Syd: What's going on? Where's Lucy?

Arnie: Uh... she died this morning.

Syd: That is... a really fucked up thing to say to me. Now... I don't know what Greta told you or anyone else, but you don't know shit about me and Lucy!

Arnie: It doesn't fucking matter now! It doesn't matter.

Lucy: I haven't been deconstructed in a long time.

Syd: Yeah, I bet you hate that.

Lucy: I don't hate it at all.

Syd: It's like cultural studies or semiotics. Philosophy, you know? Foucault, Derrida, Kristeva, whatevah.

Syd: This is intense...

Lucy: Is it?

Syd: I'm not usually like this

Lucy: Like what?

Syd: Nervous.

Lucy: Can I take pictures of you?

Syd: Right now? No... I feel like shit right now, I'm kinda wrecked.

Lucy: You look really sexy, actually.

Syd: I did a line of heroin. I don't think I'm used to it...

Lucy: Hi. Are you running a bath?

Syd: [puzzled pause] No. Are you?