Switowski Quotes in The Longest Yard (2005)

+1
Share
Pin
Like
Send
Share

Switowski Quotes:

  • Switowski: He broke-ded my nose

    Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe: Let me try to fix that.

    [Crewe fixes his nose]

    Switowski: How do I look?

    Caretaker: Much better, like a young Michael Jackson.

    Switowski: I love little Michael.

  • Switowski: Will you teach me to football?

    Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe: Sure, I'll teach you to football.

    Caretaker: I'll teach you anything. Just don't eat me.

  • Guard Dunham: [after breaking off a long run, storms up to Megget] That's how a white man runs the football!

    Earl Megget: Man, you lucky I ain't on defense. I'd crack you in that egg-ass head of yours!

    Guard Dunham: Yeah, but you ain't on defense. Are ya, bitch?

    Earl Megget: Switowski! Come here!

    [he comes running over]

    Earl Megget: You know what he said in the library?

    [whispers to Switowski about Dunham calling Malcolm X then "N word", as Switowski's eyes about pop out of his head]

    Earl Megget: Yes. Him. Out!

    Switowski: [Destroys Dunham with a huge hit on the next play. Everyone gathers around to look at Dunham and sniffs] I think I made-ed him shit himself.

    Coach Nate Scarborough: I think he just shit himself.

    All Sportswriters: I think he just shit himself.

    Stretcher Guy: Good lord, this guy shit himself big time!

    Switowski: [jumps up and down celebrating] See! I told you i made-ed him shit himself!

    Earl Megget: [as Dunmham is being carted off the field on a stretcher] I'll be sure to send them books to the hospital, pimp!

    Deacon Moss: And some diapers!

  • Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe: [drinking a toast with Caretaker] Here's to the first friend I've had in I-don't-know-how-long

    Switowski: I thought I was your friend, Paul.

    Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe: You are my friend, Switowski. Just finish your coloring book and go to sleep.

    Switowski: OK.

  • Switowski: I'm sorry... I brokeded your toy.

    Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe: Oh, no, it's a good thing! you should share a victory hug with Caretaker.

    Caretaker: What?

    [Switowski lifts Caretaker in bear-hug and spins around laughing]

    Caretaker: [to Paul] Asshole!

  • Switowski: [after Turley breaks his nose] I think he did it on purpose!

    Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe: No, he didn't do it on puropse...

    [glances over at Turley]

    Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe: Okay maybe he did.

  • Switowski: I thought I was your friend, Paul.

    Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe: You are my friend, Switowski, just, finish your coloring book and go to sleep.

    Switowski: OK.

Browse more character quotes from The Longest Yard (2005)

+1
Share
Pin
Like
Send
Share