Switowski Quotes in The Longest Yard (2005)
Switowski Quotes:
-
Switowski: He broke-ded my nose
Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe: Let me try to fix that.
[Crewe fixes his nose]
Switowski: How do I look?
Caretaker: Much better, like a young Michael Jackson.
Switowski: I love little Michael.
-- Switowski -
Switowski: Will you teach me to football?
Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe: Sure, I'll teach you to football.
Caretaker: I'll teach you anything. Just don't eat me.
-- Switowski -
Guard Dunham: [after breaking off a long run, storms up to Megget] That's how a white man runs the football!
Earl Megget: Man, you lucky I ain't on defense. I'd crack you in that egg-ass head of yours!
Guard Dunham: Yeah, but you ain't on defense. Are ya, bitch?
Earl Megget: Switowski! Come here!
[he comes running over]
Earl Megget: You know what he said in the library?
[whispers to Switowski about Dunham calling Malcolm X then "N word", as Switowski's eyes about pop out of his head]
Earl Megget: Yes. Him. Out!
Switowski: [Destroys Dunham with a huge hit on the next play. Everyone gathers around to look at Dunham and sniffs] I think I made-ed him shit himself.
Coach Nate Scarborough: I think he just shit himself.
All Sportswriters: I think he just shit himself.
Stretcher Guy: Good lord, this guy shit himself big time!
Switowski: [jumps up and down celebrating] See! I told you i made-ed him shit himself!
Earl Megget: [as Dunmham is being carted off the field on a stretcher] I'll be sure to send them books to the hospital, pimp!
Deacon Moss: And some diapers!
-- Switowski -
Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe: [drinking a toast with Caretaker] Here's to the first friend I've had in I-don't-know-how-long
Switowski: I thought I was your friend, Paul.
Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe: You are my friend, Switowski. Just finish your coloring book and go to sleep.
Switowski: OK.
-- Switowski -
Switowski: I'm sorry... I brokeded your toy.
Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe: Oh, no, it's a good thing! you should share a victory hug with Caretaker.
Caretaker: What?
[Switowski lifts Caretaker in bear-hug and spins around laughing]
Caretaker: [to Paul] Asshole!
-- Switowski -
Switowski: [after Turley breaks his nose] I think he did it on purpose!
Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe: No, he didn't do it on puropse...
[glances over at Turley]
Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe: Okay maybe he did.
-- Switowski -
Switowski: I thought I was your friend, Paul.
Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe: You are my friend, Switowski, just, finish your coloring book and go to sleep.
Switowski: OK.
-- Switowski
Browse more character quotes from The Longest Yard (2005)
Characters on The Longest Yard (2005)
- (prisoners team)
- Brucie
- Cheeseburger Eddy
- Guard Dunham
- Earl Megget
- Coach Nate Scarborough
- All Sportswriters
- Stretcher Guy
- Deacon Moss
- Guard Lambert
- Punky
- Captain Knauer
- Joey Battle
- Warden Hazen
- Guard Engleheart
- Turley
- Big Ears Cop
- Big Tony
- Skitchy Rivers
- Baby Face Bob
- Chris Berman
- Ms. Tucker
- Unger
- Con Transvestite