Susan Applegate Quotes in The Major and the Minor (1942)

Conductor #1: You're from Swedish stock, eh?

Susan Applegate: Yes sir.

Conductor #2: If you're people are Swedish, suppose you say something in Swedish.

Susan Applegate, Conductor #2: I vant to be alone.

Cadet Clifford Osborne: Well, the bus is here. The zombies have arrived.

Susan Applegate: Who?

Cadet Clifford Osborne: [disdainfully] The girls from Miss Shackleford's school.

Cadet Lt. Miller: We use 'em for women.

Susan Applegate: You should be very glad I'm not 12. I was a very straightforward child. I used to spit.

Susan Applegate: I take a two week course. Learn all about hair and the circulation of the blood. I have to hock my things to join the union and what do I get? An invitation to slip out of my wet coat, into a dry martini! Well, by George, I think I will.

Susan Applegate: I'm through. After one year and 25 jobs in New York, Susan Applegate is signing off. Signing off and going right back where she came from. Did you ever hear of Stevenson, Iowa? No, you haven't Mr. Osborne. Dull. People there just walk around on two feet and cars have only four wheels and the grass is just plain green. Who wants that? Who wants a fella by the name of Will Duffy, who runs a Feed & Grain store? Why not look around? Well, I came and I looked around, from every angle, from the bargain basement to the Ritz tower. I got myself stared at, glanced over, passed by, slapped around, brushed off, cuddled up against.

Susan Applegate: Taking candy from a baby, huh? You big baboon.

Con Man in Railroad Station: Some baby!

Susan Applegate: I've met a lot of crumbs in this town; but, of all the crummy crumbs!

Conductor #2: Looks kinda filled out for twelve.

Susan Applegate: Mama says we have some sort of gland trouble.

Maj. Philip Kirby: Call me Uncle Philip. Do you have a nightie with you?

Susan Applegate: Yes, Uncle Philip.

Maj. Philip Kirby: Well, then, suppose you go in there and get changed.

Susan Applegate: You really think so?

Maj. Philip Kirby: Why, sure! And just sing out if you have any trouble with your buttons.

Susan Applegate: Oh, I haven't had any button trouble in a long, long time.

Maj. Philip Kirby: Anything wrong? Stomach again? How do you feel Su-Su?

Susan Applegate: So-so.

Maj. Philip Kirby: Su-Su, this is a treat that doesn't come to one girl in a million.

Susan Applegate: Does it have to come to me?

Maj. Philip Kirby: Listen, Su-Su, you like boys don't you?

Susan Applegate: What boys?

Maj. Philip Kirby: Nice boys. Can you dance?

Susan Applegate: A little.

Susan Applegate: Oh, that's naughty.

Lucy Hill: Smoke?

Susan Applegate: Thanks.

Lucy Hill: You'll excuse me, I won't join you. I find adolescence makes you nervous enough.

Susan Applegate: What do you expect me to do?

Lucy Hill: Help.

Susan Applegate: I haven't any pull in the War Department. I knew a Washington Senator once. He played third base.

Susan Applegate: If you start moving that German Army again, I'll yell Lieutenant. I'll yell!

Maj. Philip Kirby: That's why we say a girl like you is attractive.

Susan Applegate: Am I?

Maj. Philip Kirby: Oh, yes! Yes. You have very nice eyes and good straight legs and theirs a sort of glow to your hair. I was watching you in the Mess Hall this afternoon.

Susan Applegate: Were you?

Maj. Philip Kirby: Yes. That little redhead of yours is like a dandelion in a big meadow of uniforms. Well, frankly, I felt like cutting classes and taking the afternoon off and showing you around myself.

Susan Applegate: Honest?

Maj. Philip Kirby: I'll tell you something else, too. One day you're going to be a very charming young lady.

Susan Applegate: When?

Maj. Philip Kirby: Six or seven years.

Lucy Hill: Did they give you that Maginot line?

Susan Applegate: Huh?

Lucy Hill: The cadets.

Susan Applegate: Those innocent little panzer divisions - in sheep's clothing. The third one had some imagination though. He made it Benghazi.

Susan Applegate: What's your name?

Cadet Korner: Korner. They call me Kozy.

Susan Applegate: Mad on account of what happened at the cannon?

Cadet Lt. Anthony Wigton: "Hard to get." Maybe you can play that with a Private, not with a Lieutenant!

Cadet Lt. Miller: I may as well warn you. There's an epidemic at Miss Shackleford's school.

Susan Applegate: An epidemic?

Cadet Lt. Miller: Yeah. They all think they're Veronica Lake.

Maj. Philip Kirby: Oh, if Miss Parrot could only see me now!

Susan Applegate: Miss who?

Maj. Philip Kirby: Miss Jean Parrot, my dancing teacher. I was 12 and she was 40. I had a terrific crush on her.

Susan Applegate: That's an awkward situation.

Maj. Philip Kirby: Ah, the poetry in Miss Parrot's feet demonstrating the tango.

Maj. Philip Kirby: Milk, Root Beer, Ginger Ale?

Susan Applegate: Ginger Ale!

Maj. Philip Kirby: Ginger Ale!

Susan Applegate: It looks more like champagne.

Maj. Philip Kirby: To you, Su-Su. To all my crushes.

Susan Applegate: I think you under estimate us, Major Kirby. Perhaps all a woman wants is to be a photograph a soldier tacks above his bunk or a stupid lock of hair in the back of his watch.

Susan Applegate: Love, frog and everything.

[last lines]

Susan Applegate: You know, I have my own theory about the fall of France.

[places her finger on Maj. Kirby's lips]

Susan Applegate: Now, this is Sedan. And there was the big Maginot Line and the small Maginot line. And the German army swung through The Netherlands and Belgium. And a panzer division smacked right through here.

[Kiss]

Maj. Philip Kirby: Su-Su!

Susan Applegate: Come, Philip!

Cadet Lt. Anthony Wigton: The first lesson to be derived from this present war is the futility of a stationary defense.

Susan Applegate: You're not just mulling over yesterday's lessons, are you, Lt. Wigton?

Cadet Lt. Anthony Wigton: Please! You want to know how Sedan was taken?

Susan Applegate: How?

Cadet Lt. Anthony Wigton: [points to Su-Su's lips] This is Sedan! The weak point between the big Maginot Line and the little Maginot Line. Now, a flank of the German army swung around, through The Netherlands and Belgium. Then, a panzer division smacked right through here.

[kiss]

Susan Applegate: Why you little devil!

Cadet Lt. Anthony Wigton: Hot stuff, huh! Then, of course, they took Paris. I got about two more minutes. You want to see how they took Paris?

Susan Applegate: Oh, no!

Cadet Lt. Anthony Wigton: Oh, that was only Kindergarten. Paris is a real kiss!

Cadet Clifford Osborne: Let's not talk about me. Let's talk about something else. Oh, strategy, for instance.

Susan Applegate: Fine.

Cadet Clifford Osborne: You know, I've got my own theory about the fall of France. The first lesson to be derived from this present war is the futility of stationary defense. Now, there was the big Maginot Line and the little Maginot Line. Right in between was Sedan.

Cadet Lt. Miller: Su-Su.

Susan Applegate: Yes, Lt. Miller.

Cadet Lt. Miller: You know, you're very cruel.

Susan Applegate: You mean because I'm not interested in the fall of Paris?

Cadet Lt. Miller: It's so unfair. Wigton at least got to Sedan!

Susan Applegate: [on the phone, pretending to be Pamela] Cornelia, darling! You beguiling creature! Of course, it's Pamela. I know you couldn't be more surprised. How long has it been? Almost a year? How did my quail recipe turn out? Isn't that chestnut stuffing too beguiling! You did! A great big party? The Chief Justice - and Morgenthau too! I'm sure he asked for more gravy. Well, how beguiling!

Susan Applegate: Let's drop the cat and mouse stuff, Miss Hill. I make a very bad mouse.

Maj. Philip Kirby: You know Su-Su, you're a very peculiar child.

Susan Applegate: You bet I am.

Susan Applegate: You know, General Wallace owes me 51 cents.

Mrs. Applegate: What *did* happen between New York and Stevenson?

Susan Applegate: I went to a masquerade, darling.

Mrs. Applegate: For three days?

Susan Applegate: Not now, Mother. Don't ask any more questions, please.

Susan Applegate: I'll try and be a well-behaved lightbulb.