Sue Quotes in Crocodile Dundee II (1988)

Doris: Tell me, Sue, what is Mick like in bed?

Sue: [cleverly brushing off the question] I dunno, he still sleeps on the floor.

[Aborigine speaks in Aborigine]

Charlie: No, mate, we just hold them.

Sue: What did he say?

Charlie: [winking] He wants to know if we're allowed to eat these men.

Sue: Who do you think you are? You hold me here at gunpoint, threaten to kill people, then you act like you're some sort of rock star? You're a drug dealer. You're a grubby little parasite.

Rico: You should watch your mouth. It is not wise to annoy me. Bob Tanner did and I had his head blown off like that...

[snaps his finger softly]

Sue: You killed Bob?

Rico: And if your Mick screws this up...

[snaps his finger softly]

Sue: You shot Walter.

Mick: Yeah. It was the only thing I could think of to save his life.

Sue: There's nothing wrong with the food, it's the company.

Mick: Wanna give me some help?

Sue: Would Bonnie say no to Clyde?

Mick: Who?

Mick: Now we're all on foot. That makes us even.

Sue: Seven to two is "even"?

Sue: Do you know where they are?

Mick: Yeah. About 500 yards that way, over that ridge.

Sue: How do you know that?

Mick: Can't you smell it?

Sue: Their sweat?

Mick: Wally's aftershave.

Sue: [subtitled version] Don't forget the cake and candies I ordered from the Orchid Bakery.

Henry: Wait, uh... What is going on? I was kidding around with you! What's happening here? Is she crazy or something?

Sue: Lucy is a very special person. Very different from other people.

Henry: Okay.

Sue: About a year ago, Lucy was in a terrible car accident. She and her father went up North Shore to get a pineapple. Her Father broke some ribs, but Lucy suffered a serious head injury. She lost her short term memory.

Henry: So she can't remember anything?

Sue: No, no, no. She has all of her long term memory. That's a different part of the brain. Her whole life, up to the night before the accident, she remembers. She just can't retain any new information. It's like her slate gets wiped clean every night while she sleeps.

Henry: Hold on, here. This sounds like something I would tell a psycho girl so she would stop calling me. Am I the psycho girl?

Sue: I wish I was making this up! She has no memory that she ever met you.

Henry: What about the pineapple thing?

Sue: She says that every day, because each morning she wakes up thinking it's October thirteenth of last year. She comes here for breakfast because that's what she did on Sundays, and October thirteenth was a Sunday. She has no idea it's more than a year later.

Henry: She reads the newspaper though.

Sue: It's a special paper her Father puts on their porch every night. It's from the day of her accident. He got hundreds of them printed up. Lucy does the same thing everyday.

Mike: So how long do I wait to call?

Trent: A day.

Mike: Tomorrow.

Sue: Tomorrow, then a day.

Trent: Yeah.

Mike: So two days?

Trent: Yeah, I guess you could call it that, two days.

Sue: Definitely, two days is like industry standard.

Trent: You know I used to wait two days to call anybody, but now it's like everyone in town waits two days. So I think three days is kind of money. What do you think?

Sue: Yeah, but two's enough not to look anxious.

Trent: Yeah, two's enough not to look anxious. But I think three days is kind of money. You know because you...

Mike: Yeah, but you know what, mabey I'll wait 3 weeks. How's that? And tell her I was cleaning out my wallet and I just happened to run into her number.

Charles: Then ask her where you met her.

Mike: Yeah, I'll ask her where I met her. I don't remember. What does she look like? And then I'll asked if we fucked. Is that... would that be... T, would that be the money?

Trent: You know what. Ha ha ha Mike, laugh all you want but if you call too soon you might scare off a nice baby who's ready to party.

Mike: Well how long are you guys gonna wait to call your babies?

Trent, Sue: Six days.

Trent: You know what you are? You're like a big bear with claws and with fangs...

Sue: ...big fucking teeth, man.

Trent: Yeah... big fuckin' teeth on ya'. And she's just like this little bunny, who's just kinda cowering in the corner.

Sue: Shivering.

Trent: Yeah, man just kinda... you know, you got these claws and you're staring at these claws and your thinking to yourself, and with these claws you're thinking, "How am I supposed to kill this bunny, how am I supposed to kill this bunny?"

Sue: And you're poking at it, you're poking at it...

Trent: Yeah, you're not hurting it. You're just kinda gently batting the bunny around, you know what I mean? And the bunny's scared Mike, the bunny's scared of you, shivering.

Sue: And you got these fucking claws and these fangs...

Trent: And you got these fucking claws and these fangs, man! And you're looking at your claws and you're looking at your fangs. And you're thinking to yourself, you don't know what to do, man. "I don't know how to kill the bunny." With *this* you don't know how to kill the bunny, do you know what I mean?

Sue: You're like a big bear, man.

Mike: So you're not just like fucking with me?

Trent: No I'm not fucking with you.

Sue: Honestly, man.

[playing a hockey video game]

Trent: I wish they still had fights in this game so I could bitch-slap Wayne.

Mike: What? They don't have fighting anymore?

Trent: Doesn't that suck?

Mike: Why'd they get rid of the fighting? It was the best part of the old version.

Sue: I think kids were hittin' each other or somethin', man.

Trent: Yeah but you know what, Mike? You can make their heads bleed in this one.

Mike: Make somebody's head bleed.

Sue: No man, we're in the playoffs.

[Mike, Trent, and Sue are hanging out and Trent and Sue are playing video hockey]

Sue: This is bullshit, such bullshit!

Mike: The Kings suck in this game you should play another team.

Sue: I took the Kings to the cup.

Trent: Yea, against the computer with the offsides off.

Sue: They are a finesse team.

Trent: LA is a fucking bitch team. OOOOHHHHHHH!

[Trent bodychecks one of sue's players]

Sue: BITCH!

Mike: What the fuck are you carrying a gun for? What, in case somebody steps to you, Snoop Dogg?

Sue: Hey man, you're not from here, alright. You don't know how it is. I grew up in L.A.

Trent: Anaheim.

Sue: Whatever, man. It's different out here. It's not like New York, Mikey.

Sue: Just because I had the balls to stand up to those guys...

Trent: Like fuckin' House of Pain was gonna do anything?

[why Sue carries a gun]

Sue: People get carjacked.

Trent: Who's gonna carjack your fuckin' K-Car? He's right Sue you don't need to carry a gat!

Sue: What? Come guys I couldn't back down, that guy called me a bitch we kept our "rep" bro.

Charles: Man, fuck "rep" I got a call back tomorrow!

Trent: Score Chicago!

Sue: Fuck! Such fuckin' bullshit!

Trent: [Trent hits the instant replay] Now that was pretty Sue...

Sue: Man, don't do the instant replay thing...

Trent: No way, you said it was fuckin' bullshit.

Sue: Don't do the fucking...

Trent: Well that's why they put the instant replay in the fucking game! So you can see if it's bullshit!

Sue: You're unbelieveable.

Trent: Well you know something, I am unbelievable.

Sue: [Trent shoves Sue] Don't fucking touch me.

Trent: When I'm not here will you practice?

Sue: Pause the game.

Trent: Wait I'm gonna do my thing with the thing.

George: Sue's teacher, Brenda. She's... She's dead.

Tom: Oh. I better tell her.

George: No, no, no. I can do it. Sue?

Sue: Yes?

George: You know your teacher, Miss Brenda?

Sue: Yeah.

George: She's dead!

Sue: Aah!

George: Gone forever! Died a horrible, painful death! Gone, gone, gone, just like your dog!

Sue: My dog's dead?

George: I just ran him over with the car when I drove in! Everyone you love around you is dying!

Tom: [opening door] Sue?

Sue: I can't sleep.

Tom: Well, it's way past your bedtime.

Sue: Won't you rock me to sleep in your big, strong arms? There's plenty of room under the covers. It's a hot night. You don't need to wear pajamas.

Tom: Where is my daughter?

Sue: Are you mad? I am your daughter.

Tom: No you're not.

[removes dress from daughter revealing it is really Michael Jackson]

Al, Sue: [Sitting naked together in a recliner, singing] Hit the road, "Tripp", and don't ya come back no more, no more, no more, no more. Hit the road, "Tripp", and don't ya come back no more.

Paula: Look, many young men who should be able to move out simply can't. It's called "failure to launch," and that's where I come in. Young men develop self-esteem best during a romantic relationship, so I simulate one: We have a memorable meeting, we get to know each other over a few casual meals, he helps me through an emotional crisis, then I meet his friends - if he has any - uh, then I let him teach me something; but, the bottom line is, he bonds with me, he lets go of you, he moves out.

Al: But how do you make sure that he'll fall in love with you?

Paula: You look nice, you find out what they like, and then you pretend to like it, too.

Sue: That is pretty much how it works.

Al: What about sex?

Paula: Al, I never have sex with a client. Besides, I need to keep Tripp motivated, and let's face it, after men have sex...

Sue: Is there anything that we need to do?

Paula: Well, for starters, you could make life a little more difficult for him. You know, uh, more chores, more responsibilities, that kind of thing.

Sue: I just think you should know that Tripp has had some rough breaks.

Paula: I promise you, when this is over, Tripp is going to be an independant, self-sufficient adult.

Al: I could get out of those ropes.

Sue: You can't get out of your barbecue apron.

Al: We ain't buying that chair.

Sue: I am getting this polka-dot chair. I've got my own money.

Al: Unless you start dancing again, you're broke.

Al: The boy's thirty-five years old!

Sue: It's just not fair.

Al: Thirty-five years!

Sue: We were good parents and now we're supposed to be done!

Male BBQ Guest #1: Hey, I don't blame my kid for stayin'. Our place is much nicer than anything he can afford.

Male BBQ Guest #2: Well, our son's a flight attendant. He travels so much, it doesn't make any sense to have his own apartment.

Sue: Yeah...

Female BBQ Guest: Plus, he has a lot of pilot friends who let him stay over.

Sue: [to Tripp] And, uh, your bathroom needs cleaning, so I left the stuff in the hall; and, when you're done with the rubber gloves, just remember to turn them inside out. Bye.

Demo: Something's wrong with your mom.

Sue: I don't know what to tell ya, honey, but, uh, that strict program o' yours?

Paula: Mm-hm.

Sue: You're gonna have to start deviating. He's breaking up with you.

Paula: What?

Sue: The only reason he ever brings girls home to meet us is 'cause he's gettin' ready to dump 'em.

Paula: Really? Well, that's not happening.

Sue: Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa!

Sue: I've always had a thing for Santa Claus. In case you didn't notice. It's like some deep-seeded childhood thing.

Willie: So is my thing for tits.

Willie: I'm an eating, drinking, shitting, fucking Santy Claus.

Sue: Prove it.

Sue's Dad: [Sue comes in at 2pm; her Dad is sitting there with a baseball bat] Where the fuck have you been?

Sue: Baby sitting.

Sue's Dad: Not just till 2 o'clock in the fuckin' morning you haven't, don't lie to me lass!

Sue: I'm not, you ask me mum.

Sue's Dad: Well yer mum's a lyin' bastard an all and I'll wrap this round ya fuckin' neck!

[throws bat down]

Sue: [blows a huff] Mum!

Sue's Mum: What?

Sue: Come and tell him!

Sue's Dad: You're a lying little shit!

Sue's Mum: Oh, I'm fucking fed up with him! What do you think yer fuckin' playing at?

Sue's Dad: You try to tell me that she's been baby sitting till this fuckin' time?

Sue's Mum: How do you know she hasn't?

Sue's Dad: Cause' there's nowt open that's how!

Sue: There is!

Sue's Mum: Night Clubs.

Sue's Dad: Well I don't fuckin' believe yer, next time I will wrap it round yer neck.

Sue's Mum: Just be careful I don't bloody wrap it round yours!

Sue's Dad: Anyway, why don't you fuck off back to bed?

Sue's Mum: I'm sleeping in here, you're sleeping on yer bloody own.

Sue's Dad: Do what yer like.

Sue's Mum: I bloody will, don't worry!

Sue's Dad: Fuck it, I'm going to bed.

Sue: Oh go on.

Sue: Aren't you going to bed?

Sue's Mum: I'm not getting in with him!

Sue: Its all your fault. If you'd had sex wi' him, he wouldn't have to go elsewhere.

Sue's Mum: Keep you mouth shut!

Michelle: Well, Is that you've been saying you dirty bastard?

Bob: You take the rubber johnny out of the packet-...

Sue: You didn't think we thought you could put packet on, did ya?

Sue: There's no way I'm workin' all week for twenty-seven pounds thirty on some bleedin' trainin' scheme.

Sue's Dad: I had to work for eighteen shilling!

Sue's Mum: That were in the days of Methusela! They were worth more then.

Sue: My grandfather was right. He said when you come to India, it's love at first sight.

Sue: As I watched DJ sleep that night, a funny thought occurred to me. Maybe DJ wasn't sleeping. Maybe none of them were. Maybe they were all waking up.

Sue: Ask them once again.

[if Aslam, DJ, Siddharth will act in my film]

Sue: Please.

Sonia: So you won't rest until then, will you?

[Sue nods]

Sonia: Ok. But nobody will come.

DJ: [From the background] They will come. I will bring them. DJ da Promise!

Ajay Rathod: [Seeing everybody silent and serious after watching the documentary] Sue, I've never seen these people so serious. What have you done to my friends?

Sue: Nothing. Whatever it is, they're doing it themselves.

Boy sitting on University steps: [Whistles] Which country, madam?

Sue: India, I hope!

Sue: Will you guys act in my film?

Everybody: What?

Sue: Will you guys act in my film?

Sukhi: [Everybody laughs] Hey... why're you guys laughing? I'm the hero of her film!

Sue: Those four weeks

[of filming]

Sue: were the hardest days of my life. And the happiest.

Sue: [Proposing a toast] To Ajay and Sonia. I wish they live happily forever. May the insanity and the romance never die.

Ken: Hey big fellow, how many bells have you got on the old dickory?

Big Al: [kinda shocked] What the hell is he saying?

Sue: Oh wake up, Australia. He wants to know what time it is.

Dave: [Sue unbuttons top of dress and tucks edges under to reveal cleavage] What are you doing? That dress!

Sue: This is the way the designer intended the dress to be worn.

Dave: Did the designer intend for every other guy in here to look at your tits?

Sue: Dave, they're my tits, not yours.

Dave: You're my wife! That makes them our tits. And our tits should be home where they belong, not out on the town. And I do mean out.

Sue: Dave, it's good for us to experience new things. We have to reach out together, be more open to things.

Dave: Oh God, you've been reading Cosmopolitan again.

Sue: What do you really know about him?

Rachel Clifford: I know that he doesn't wear dentures.

Sue: Why are you looking at me like that?

Jude Fawley: Does it scare you?

Sue: No. I am not afraid of any man.

Jude Fawley: Why?

Sue: Because no man would touch a woman unless she gives him reason to. A touch or a look that say come on. If you never look, they'll never come. You are the timid sex.

Sue: I would have liked to have talked with her before she died.

Jude Fawley: She would have enjoyed that.

Sue: What did she say?

Jude Fawley: She said we both made bad husbands and wives

Sue: Do I irritate you?

Jude Fawley: No.

Sue: Even though I'm always trying to prove how much cleverer than you I am.

Jude Fawley: You are!

Sue: Don't say that!

Jude Fawley: Why not?

Sue: Because it's not the sort of thing you should admit to!

Jude Fawley: Even if it's true?

Sue: Haven't we been punished enough?

Sue: You're still Joseph, the dreamer of dreams. And the tragic Don Quixote. Sometimes you are a St. Stephen, who sees Heaven open up, even as they're stoning him.

Jerry Blake: Wait a minute, who am I here?

Sue: Jerry?

Jerry Blake: That's right. Jerry Blake. Thanks, honey.

Sue, Jerry Blake: Jerry, we need to talk, Honey.

Jerry Blake: About What?

Sue: About what? What is happening to our family.

Jerry Blake: I'm taking care of it.

Sue: By yourself?

Jerry Blake: Uh huh.

Sue: [Abby is preparing to counsel a young married couple. Emmett arrives, and the demon in Abby takes over] Hi there, pastor.

Rev. Emmett Williams: Hello, Sue. This must be George Preston, huh?

George: Pastor. I didn't know you were coming down.

Abby Williams: Why Emmett.

[Abby slowly lapses into the Demon's voice]

Abby Williams: I have a few special tips for Sue, and I didn't want to pass up this golden opportunity.

Sue: What do you mean, Abby? Tips?

Abby Williams: [demon voice in full force] Like the facts of life, stupid! All men are not created equal; better make sure what he's got first! As a matter of fact, I'm gonna take ol' long George upstairs AND FUCK THE SHIT OUT OF HIM! THAT's WHAT I'M GONNA DO!

Elmer: Why are we at the Grand Canyon?

Sue: The Colorado River is at the bottom of the Grand Canyon.

[Looks at Luke and Elmer]

Sue: Is this news to both of you?

Elmer: Geography wasn't my thing. I was more of an arts and music guy.

Luke: I was remedial.

Sue: Yeah, but everybody knows that the Colorado River is at the bottom of the Grand Canyon. I thought you were taking me to a fort at a crossing?

Luke: Sue, please don't yell. He's the one who told you about the army and the fort and all that stuff. That's the first I ever heard of it.

Sue: [Turns to Elmer] You were lying?

Elmer: No, I wasn't lying. He's the one that's supposed to know this country like the back of his hand. I figured once we reached the Colorado it was either left or right to the fort. Personally, I was gonna go straight and let you take it from there with your suicide plot against the U.S. Army.

Sue: I should've left you two for the Cursed.

Elmer: It was your crazy uncle Geronimo set 'em loose. So I don't see either one of us is to blame for our problems right now.

Sue: You wanna blame me for my uncle's curse? I'm not the one who drove him off a cliff, *soldier*. And if I hadn't've found you two idiots, they would have. I hope this plague kills all of you white people.

Elmer: I ain't that big a fan of white people either, sister. At least we got fucking wheels.

Sue: What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Elmer: Wheels... the basic benchmark of civilization. You Indians are supposed to be so great and wise and everything; and I got sympathy for your situation, I do. But you'd still be dragging everything on the ground if we hadn't've brought wheels into this country. And horses. The fucking Spanish brought you your horses, did you know that? Before they got here, you was just a bunch of savages in diapers dragging all your shit around on sticks and blankets.

Sue: That is so ignorant.

Elmer: Seems like you like our guns too; and I ain't even gonna start on the fire water shit.

Sue: Did you invent the wheel, Elmer? No, you didn't. But you're gonna take personal credit for Western Civilization? Your monkey ancestors happened to be born in an area with abundant founder crops; big, slow ruminants, and a lateral continental axis that allowed for the development of agriculture, writing and maritime technology. Not to mention cross-species plagues, which are the real weapons of European conquest. So you invented smallpox; nice going *dick*!

Luke: Monkey ancestors?

Sue: Oh, Jesus Christ. Read a book!

Elmer: What the hell kinda crazy book is that shit in?

Sue: This place gives me the willies!

Sue: [on a drowned Phil] Maybe... he fell in?

Mory: [in disbelief] And... MAYBE... he was pushed!

[last lines]

Sue: [icily] You were the last one in here

[a repulsed Mory walks off in disgust]