Stuart Farquhar Quotes in Carry on Abroad (1972)

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Stuart Farquhar Quotes:

  • Stuart Farquhar: My name is Stuart Farquhar, the representative of Wundatours.

    Pepe: Stupid what?

    Stuart Farquhar: STUART! STUART FARQUHAR!

    Pepe: Ahh, you Mr. Farqiarse.

  • Stuart Farquhar: Afternoon, Miss Dobbs, a lovely day for it.

    Miss Dobbs: That's what they all say, Mr Farquhar, but it won't get you anywhere.

    Stuart Farquhar: I meant for the Elsbels trip, Miss Dobbs.

  • Stuart Farquhar: Please, Miss Plunkett, you're squashing my itinerary.

    Moira Plunkett: Oh, I'm terribly sorry. I keep on forgetting what a big girl I am now.

    Stuart Farquhar: Quite, shall we get them out now?

    Moira Plunkett: Why, Mr Farquhar!

    Stuart Farquhar: The people for the coach, I mean.

    Moira Plunkett: Oh, those. Yes, of course.

  • [on arrival at the Palace Hotel in Elsbels]

    Pepe: It's very lovings, no?

    Stuart Farquhar: I beg your pardon, oh you mean lovely, oh yes very nice.

    Pepe: It's all brand news, tables not sat in, chairs not sat in, lavatory not sat...

    Stuart Farquhar: Yes, we needn't go into all that.

  • Postcard Seller: Excuse me, mister - you like postcards? Very interesting!

    Stuart Farquhar: Oh yes - Miss Plunkett, didn't you want a postcard to send to your mother?

    [Stuart Farquhar looks at the postcards]

    Stuart Farquhar: OOOOOOHHH.

    Moira Plunkett: Any good?

    Stuart Farquhar: No, I'm afraid they're quite unsuitable.

    Moira Plunkett: Oh, are they naughty ones? Do let me see.

    Stuart Farquhar: Certainly not.

  • [outside the Wundatours Shop]

    Bert Conway: Hey, son, hey! Is this for the dirty weekend?

    Stuart Farquhar: This is the four-day trip to Elsbels, if that's what you mean?

    Bert Conway: Same difference, isn't it?

    Stuart Farquhar: Have you got a ticket?

    Bert Conway: Certainly. I don't expect to get it for nothing - not the holiday anyway!

  • Stuart Farquhar: [while being detained in the Spanish jail] I feel that I should point out that we are all British subjects.

    Police Chief: I know, and you have my deepest sympathy.

    Stuart Farquhar: Yes, quite. Well, I don't want to make an international incident out of this...

    Police Chief: That is most kind of you, sir.

    Stuart Farquhar: ...but I must protest most strongly about being detained in this way.

    Police Chief: Naturally, sir.

Browse more character quotes from Carry on Abroad (1972)

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