Stretch Quotes in Harry Brown (2009)

Stretch: What do you want a gun for, brother?

Harry Brown: I want to shoot the pigeons... off my roof.

Harry Brown: [looks at a young girl lying on the couch overdosing] Is... is she OK?

Stretch: She's having the time of her life!

[approaches Sharon]

Stretch: Ain't ya, baby? Ain't ya, Sharon?

[pause]

Stretch: Sharon?

[another pause]

Stretch: Sharo-

[screams]

Stretch: *SHARON*! SHARON, YOU *FUCK*!

Stretch: [points his gun at Brown] Look at me! Yeah...

[pause]

Stretch: Pigeons!

[tries to shoot Brown; his gun jams]

Stretch: [encouraging Brown to rape the unconscious girl on his couch] She likes to cuddle, this one. Wanna cuddle her? Do what you fucking want to her. She won't remember a thing!

[pause]

Stretch: What's the matter? Can't you get your cock hard anymore, old man?

Harry Brown: [Stretch's girlfriend starts overdosing from drugs while laying on the couch] Hey, are you sure she's OK? Maybe we should take her to the hospital?

Stretch: [defensive] What did you just say?

Harry Brown: Your girlfriend needs a doctor. Maybe you should call an ambulance...

Stretch: Ain't no fucking ambulance gonna come here, brother! Do you understand me?

Harry Brown: OK. OK, I'll- I'll mind my own business. All right?

Stretch: That's fine. She ain't your business. She's *my* business!

[pause]

Stretch: Now you pay for your gun and fuck off... before I hurt you!

[Stretch points his gun at Brown]

Dizzy: Nuke York's only three days away.

Stretch: Gonna take us six days. We only got half a car left.

[holding broken steering wheel after crashing his car into a fountain]

Stretch: Oh *no*! This is my car! My wheels! My *voltage wagon*!

[Mok's Armageddon demon has appeared]

Stretch: Oh Diz! What is it?

Dizzy: Whatever it is, it's evil.

Dizzy: Come on Omar, I think that if you and Angel ever got together someday we could be as good as Mok.

Omar: Eh, screw Mok.

Stretch: Omar, don't talk like that! Mok is everywhere! M-M-Mok knows everything!

Stinkie, Stretch, Fatso: All for one, and one for all!

Stretch: Catch your pants before they fall!

Fatso: On the runway now we have Dr. James Harvey wearing smashing underwear.

Stretch: Marky Mark, he's not!

Kat: Drop dead.

Stretch: Too late.

Kat: You guys are disgusting, obnoxious creeps!

Stretch, Fatso, Stinkie: [in unison] Thank you!

Kat: I mean, what's your problem? He's just cleaning the floor!

Stretch: Hey, shut up, skinbag!

Kat: Piss off!

Stretch: Take a hike!

Kat: Get a grave!

Stretch, Fatso, Stinkie: [singing] It's my party and I'll die if I want do, die if I want to. You will die too, when it happens to you.

Fatso: I feel like Oprah on hiatus.

Stretch: You look like Oprah on hiatus.

[Dr Harvey has died and come back as a ghost]

Dr. Harvey: I'm free! I've never felt so great in my life; I can fly-eee!

[He crashes into the floor]

Fatso: Rookie.

Stretch: Stinkie, work with him.

Stinkie: [the Ghostly Trio along with Dr. Harvey are out partying, and Dr. Harvey is drunk, singing karaoke] Hey, this Dr. Harvey's got a lot of spirit, you know what I'm sayin'?

Stretch: Yeah, but he's got his whole miserable life ahead of him.

Fatso: So we could do him a favor, and put him out of his misery.

Stretch: Yeah. Hey, good idea. We've been The Ghostly Trio long enough. Time to make it a... quartet!

Stretch: [eating breakfast with Stinkie and Fatso] Ya know what the problem is? Casper's got no respect for us.

Fatso: After all we've done for the little glowworm.

Stretch: Yeah. HEY!

[he sees Casper cleaning the mess the trio made on the floor, via their breakfast]

Stretch: What the hell do ya think you're doin', Bulbhead? This floor used to be dirty enough to eat off of.

Casper: But we have company.

Stretch: Oh, yeah? Well, company loves misery.

[he turns into a Nike]

Stretch: BOOM!

[he kicks Casper out of the way and the whole trio laughs and cheers]

Stretch: [the door knocks three times slowly] That was fast. I... I believe it's for you, Doc.

[supernatural music plays as light starts to shine in the room. Dr. Harvey starts to answer it but looks back]

Stinkie: [with Stretch] Go.

[Dr. Harvey continues his way to the door. The music intensifies. When he opens the door, light shines in his face and he stares in awe]

Dr. Harvey: Amelia?

[the light and music fade as Fatso reveals himself in a red dress and makeup. He notices Dr. Harvey]

Fatso: MY MAN!

[he pulls him in for a kiss]

Fatso: MMMMMMMM-WAH!

[Dr. Harvey falls to the floor]

Fatso: Hmm.

[Fatso laughs smugly]

David Hasselhoff: Has anyone ever referred to you as a punk ass mother fucker?

Stretch: Uh, not to my recollection.

David Hasselhoff: You are a punk ass mother fucker.

David Hasselhoff: Who's an hour late and at my age when you find yourself making the most of even the smallest moments, the idea that you would swindle out of an entire hour, that you would have the balls to vaporize 60 minutes of my waking life is contemptible, it's criminal.

Stretch: I'm um really sorry.

David Hasselhoff: Come on son, if you're going to patronize me, at least put your fucking back into it, you don't have any respect for the HOFF. Am I right? You think I never held a knife? That I'm unfamiliar with the taste of blood? That I took a shitty sub par show about lifeguards and turned it into the highest rated syndicated hit in television history because I got fucking lucky?

David Hasselhoff: I once forcibly sodomize a Vietcong colonel with a stick grenade because he placed an ancestral curse on me while I was interrogating him and I don't even believe in ancestral curses but that's how fucking deep I roll.

Stretch: I have a gambling addiction.

Roger Karos: That just means you lost more than you won.

[first lines]

Stretch: [narrating] If you like stories about chance and coincidence and fate, then here's one you'd never heard. Boy meets girl. Girl almost kills boy by running a red light at rush hour. Boy is T-boned at over 60 miles an hour.

Other Driver: God, are you alright?

Stretch: Uh huh.

Stretch: [narrating] And survives with barely a scratch.

Other Driver: Are you drunk?

Stretch: Not any more.

Candace: I'm sorry, I didn't see the light.

Stretch: Well, don't go towards it now.

Stretch: Hey, can I ask you, what do you get out of punching yourself in the face?

Roger Karos: [sitting up bloody mouthed] Clarity. The comfort in knowing I can take that punch.

Stretch: [surrounded by henchmen] I see a lot of eyeballs. You better put 'em on a fuckin' dimmer, before I put cases ON ALL YOU BITCHES!

[edging out]

Stretch: Make a lane... Make a lane.

Stretch: [coaching himself] Own the space. Own it.

[last lines]

Stretch: [narrating] If you like stories about chance and coincidence and fate, then here's one you've never heard. Boy meets girl. Girl is the one he's been looking for his entire life.

[they kiss]

Charlie: Yes, indeed.

Stretch: I don't believe in fate, destiny... To me life's nothing but timing.

Stretch: Narrating: "If Karl with a K represented The Light of the limo industry, then its Black Hole - its darkest dungeon - came in the form of a nameless, ageless, Eastern European immigrant known simply as The Jovi. He lorded over his company Cossack with an iron fist and a white-maned metal hair band wig that looked like Dog the Bounty Hunter had been dropped into a deep fryer."

Stretch: I know nobody's listening 'cos you're all looming, but I got a shot of hot rock 'n roll for you anyway...

[takes a call]

Stretch: KOKLA Red River Rock 'n Roll Request.

L.G. McPeters: [his final words; to Stretch] I guess I'm fallin' hard on ya, honey... Ah, shit.

[sobbing, Stretch puts his skinned-off face and cowboy hat back on him]

Stretch: L.G., I loved you.