Stewart Quotes in Terkel i knibe (2004)

Stewart: It's a joke. You can take it.

Stewart: Surpise motherfucker!

Terkel: [on the phone, after Stewart's long song about all the childen he has helped out, nearly crying] But can't I just get a little bit of help?

Stewart: That's right Terkel, that's just what you're going to say if your weenie suddenly catches on fire one day...

Terkel: But...

Stewart: ...So long, and tell your dad I'll drop in and crush his face in a few days.

Stewart: I always wondered what religion God preferred.

Albert (God): I don't really prefer any religion. I guess you could say I'm kind of an atheist.

Stewart: Now, how can God be an atheist?

Albert (God): I don't believe in a power greater than myself. That makes me an atheist.

Stewart: When we were in high school together... did you like that time in your life?

Greg: Well, it wasn't exactly what John Hughes said it would be. But, then again, college isn't quite what John Belushi said it would be, either.

Albert (God): What do you want to know about me?

Stewart: Oh! Jesus, you scared me.

Albert (God): I'm a lot taller than Jesus was, but I can understand why you confused me for him. It's happened before.

Guide: You've got... *the bite*!

Stewart: [the guide reaches for a machete] There's some Dettol in the Jeep...

Arnold Poindexter: So what you're saying essentially is, is that along with infinite space which extends beyond perpetual bigness there's also infinite smallness?

Harold Wormser: [nods head in agreement]

Arnold Poindexter: How?

Harold Wormser: Easy. Take an asymptotic line and extend it outward.

Arnold Poindexter: Oh.

Stewart: Right, right, right. So perpetual bigness exists simultaneously with perpetual smallness. What was I thinking?

Ogre: What if uh C-A-T really spelled dog?

Arnold Poindexter: Wow.

Harold Wormser: God.

Stewart: Yeah.

Arnold Poindexter: That's heavy Ogre. Dog.

Stewart: Whoa!

[coconut falls and hits Tiny on the head]

Sunny Carstairs: Are you okay, sir?

Tiny: I'm fine. Is my hair okay?

Stewart: What do you think I'm trying to do, get free HBO? This stuff's hard!

Stewart: There's enough going on without you getting into more trouble.

Baker: That kind of trouble I can take.

Stewart: Yes, well she belongs to Beiderbeck.

Baker: Don't we all?

Stewart: [to George Baines] She said, "I have to go, let me go, let Baines take me away, let him try and save me. I am frightened of my will, of what it might do, it is so strange and strong".

Stewart: Where's your mother? Where's she off to?

Flora: TO HELL!

George Baines: I'd like to make a swap.

Stewart: What for?

George Baines: The piano.

Flora: She says its her piano and she won't have him touch it. He's an oaf. He can't read. He's ignorant.

Stewart: He wants to improve himself. And you'll be able to play it. Teach him how to look after it. You can't go on like this. We're a family now. We all make sacrifices and so will you! You will teach him and I will see to it!

Stewart: What would you think if someone played a kitchen table like it were a piano?

Aunt Morag: Like it were a piano?

Stewart: It's strange isn't it? I mean it's not a piano, it doesn't make any sound.

Aunt Morag: No, no sound.

Stewart: I knew she was mute, but now I'm thinking it's more than that. I'm wondering if she's not brain affected.

Aunt Morag: No sound at all?

Stewart: No, it was a table.

Stewart: [to Ada] Can you hear me?

Stewart: What do you think?

George Baines: She looks tired.

Stewart: She's stunted, thats one thing.

Stewart: [to George Baines] She has spoken to me. I heard her voice. There was no sound, but I heard it here. Her voice was there in my head. I watched her lips, they did not make the words, yet the harder I listened the clearer I heard her, as clear as I hear you, as clear as I hear my own voice.

Flora: I know why Mr. Baines can't play the piano. She never gives him a turn. She just plays whatever she pleases and sometimes she doesn't play at all.

Stewart: And when is the next lesson?

Flora: Tomorrow.

Stewart: I trusted you.

Stewart: This means goodnight.

Stewart: IS IT HIM YOU LOVE?

[hacks off one of her fingers on a tree stump with an axe]

Stewart: You're all the sorriest bunch of sinners I've ever seen!