Stevie Quotes in The Running Man (1987)


Stevie Quotes:

  • Stevie: Don't touch that dial!

  • Stevie: What kind of woman would beat her plastic doll?

  • Crabby Woman: You're not my doctor!

    Stevie: No.

    Crabby Woman: Who are you?

    Stevie: Me?

    [unrolls piece of tape]

    Stevie: I'm the tape man.

  • Stevie: Ah, the way!

  • Stevie: You know, you and I are a lot alike. Friedrich would be proud.

    Angelica Chaste: Friedrich wouldn't give a damn, Rosellini.

    [both pull out and cock their guns]

    Angelica Chaste: Seems mine is bigger than yours.

    Stevie: Size doesn't matter.

    Angelica Chaste: Oh, yes it does.

    Stevie: You mean those girls have been lying to me all those years?

  • Nick: Who the fuck is this girl, Bruce Lee?

    Stevie: Nah, she's better than that. Chuck Norris.

    Nick: What are you talking about?

    Stevie: He's alive.

  • Stevie: [shouts while hitting Tony with a newspaper in the head and chest] One to the head, one to the heart. One to the head, one to the heart. What did I teach you?

  • Stevie: Damn, I missed her. What'd she look like?

    Tony Greco: What'd she look like? She looked like a broad.

    Stevie: What d'you mean? She's fat?

    Tony Greco: Naw, she's not - not that kind of broad. The other kind. She's a broad, she's a woman.

    Stevie: You mean like a dame?

    Tony Greco: Well, yeah, like a dame. I guess you could say a dame.

    Stevie: How about like a chick?

    Tony Greco: No, she didn't look like a chick. She looked more like a broad. That's why I said a broad.

    Stevie: Oh yeah, that helps me. You're very observant.

    Tony Greco: Are you serious?

  • Stevie: You didn't miss... You hit everything!

  • [first lines]

    Stevie: Pa, how far is Brazil?

    Barney Dent: That's a long way away, Stevie - clear across the world.

    Daughter: Is it as far as Amarillo?

    Barney Dent: Yeah, farther!

    Stevie: Why are our bulls going to Brazil?

    Barney Dent: Because we sold 'em to a rancher down there.

  • Timmy Taylor: We checked out the old Johnson place.

    Carl Banks: I told you kids to stay away from there, you could get hurt.

    Stevie: Or worse, we know.

    Timmy Taylor: There were these two guys there, they looked like cops.

    Carl Banks: They are cops, not the kind you want to run into. They're the boss's guys, he keeps them around to minimize suspicion.

  • Jordan: We know you still believe in the big fat creeper!

    Max: I don't know what you're talking about!

    Stevie: [pulls up Max's letter to Santa] Are you sure about that?

    Beth Engel: [Max tries to get his letter back and Beth stops him] Stop!

    Stevie: [starts reading Max's letter] Dear Santa, I know I haven't been great this year and I'm sorry for that, but I was really hoping you can help out me and my family this Christmas. We need you! Oh, Maxi Pad. That is so s...

    Beth Engel: [stops Max from getting his letter back] Stop, Max!

    Stevie: Blah blah blah. Bullshit, bullshit. Ah, here we go, Maxi's wishlist!

    Beth Engel: Stevie, stop! That's enough!

    Stevie: Wait, you're up first, Beth!

    [reading the letter]

    Stevie: I wish me and Beth could hang out like we used to.

    [Beth turns her head to Max]

    Stevie: Might've noticed that I don't have tons of friends.

    [Stevie pretends to feel sorry for him and Jordan mockingly smiles at Max]

    Stevie: Oh no, really Max?

    [Jordan laughs and Stevie continues reading the letter]

    Stevie: I wish my Mom and Dad could fall in love again.

    [Tom and Howard look at each other]

    Stevie: I know they get upset a lot with Dad away from home so much. I think they really just miss each other.

    [Linda comes in]

    Stevie: Also, I wish things weren't so hard for Uncle Howard and Aunt Linda.

    [Stevie and Linda look at each other]

    Stevie: So, maybe you can lend them a hand for the rest of the year.

    [turns letter around as Howard and Linda look at each other]

    Stevie: And... and that...

    [angrily facing Max]

    Stevie: Screw you, Dad does not wish we were boys!

    Sarah Engel: [smilingly enters the dining room with carambola] Who wants carambola?

    [Beth turns her head to her mother Sarah and Sarah loses her smile after realizing the situation]

    Max: [angrily gets off his chair to get his letter back] Give me the letter!

    Tom: Hey! Max?

    [Max fights with Stevie and Jordan with the adults talking in the background]

    Howard: [pulls Stevie and Jordan back] Alright, that's enough!

    Tom: You okay? Honey!

    Max: I just wanted Christmas to be like it used to be, but forget it! I hate Christmas! I hate all of you!

    [angrily and tearfully runs up to his room]

    Sarah Engel: Max? Max!

    Aunt Dorothy: Oh, lay off of him!

    [Max slams his bedroom door shut]

    Aunt Dorothy: Kid deserves a prize for telling the truth!

  • Mookie: Dago, wop, guinea, garlic-breath, pizza-slingin', spaghetti-bendin', Vic Damone, Perry Como, Luciano Pavarotti, Sole Mio, nonsingin' motherfucker.

    Pino: You gold-teeth-gold-chain-wearin', fried-chicken-and-biscuit-eatin', monkey, ape, baboon, big thigh, fast-runnin', high-jumpin', spear-chuckin', three-hundred-sixty-degree-basketball-dunkin' titsun spade Moulan Yan. Take your fuckin' pizza-pizza and go the fuck back to Africa.

    Stevie: You little slanty-eyed, me-no-speaky-American, own-every-fruit-and-vegetable-stand-in-New-York, bullshit, Reverend Sun Myung Moon, Summer Olympics '88, Korean kick-boxing son of a bitch.

    Officer Long: You Goya bean-eating, fifteen in a car, thirty in an apartment, pointed shoes, red-wearing, Menudo, mire-mire Puerto Rican cocksucker. Yeah, you!

    Sonny: It's cheap, I got a good price for you, Mayor Koch, "How I'm doing," chocolate-egg-cream-drinking, bagel-and-lox, B'nai B'rith Jew asshole.

    Mister Senor Love Daddy: Yo! Hold up! Time out! TIME OUT! Y'all take a chill! Ya need to cool that shit out! And that's the double truth, Ruth!

  • Stevie: What have you ever done for me?

    Evie: Carried you to term for starters. Coco would have had you sucked out for a phone number.

  • Evie: Then what is it?

    Stevie: You know what it is... that family of four that you ran down.

    Evie: It was a family of *six*, I only killed four... and who has a picnic in their own back yard?

  • Stevie: Hi Varla. Pretty name for a pretty girl.

    Evie: It's also kind of a fat name, which works too.

  • Evie: That guy who hit us slipped me his number.

    Stevie: He had to Mom, it's the law.

    Evie: Well did he have to flirt with me while we waited for the cops?

    Stevie: He said

    [consulting notes]

    Stevie: 'Look the fuck where you're going, you drunk corpse.'

    Evie: It was more in his body language.

  • Det. Bill Mitchell: You see, there's just you and one other woman that fit the physical description of the female suspect.

    Stevie: What's that?

    Det. Bill Mitchell: It's your height, your age, and... um...

    Keith Frazier: Your cup size.

    Stevie: [smiles sardonically] So, I violated section 34 Double-D? That's what you're telling me?

  • Trevor Reznik: Stevie, I haven't slept in a year.

    Stevie: Jesus Christ!

    Trevor Reznik: I tried him too.

  • Stevie: Are you okay?

    Trevor Reznik: Don't I look okay?

    Stevie: If you were any thinner, you wouldn't exist.

  • Stevie: Well, don't look so surprised. Even a call girl can scramble an egg.

  • Trevor Reznik: I'm not in that photo!

    Stevie: Trevor, I'm looking at a picture of you, standing next to a fat guy with glasses holding a fish.

  • Trevor Reznik: You know so little about me. What if I turn into a werewolf or something?

    Stevie: I'll buy you a flea collar.

  • Stevie: Trevor, I'm worried about you.

    Trevor Reznik: Don't worry. No one ever died of insomnia.

    Stevie: [giggles] I hope not. You're my best client. Can't afford to lose you.

    Trevor Reznik: Gee, thanks.

  • Trevor Reznik: You lying whore!

    Stevie: Get the fuck out of here! You fucking freak!

  • [Edith types her e-mail to Johanna, pretending to be Ken on the other end]

    Stevie: [Edith clicks away on the computer beside her friend Stevie] You're so evil.

    Edith: [Edith chuckles in response] Are you kidding? She loves this.

    [continuing to type, giggling, with a big smile on her face]

    Stevie: Actually, it's pretty mean.

    [Edith continues to type without smiling anymore]

    Stevie: [the camera cuts to Johanna in her bedroom reading Edith's fake e-mail]

    Johanna Parry: [Johanna's plain expression becomes a wide-eyed, big smile, mumbling a quote from the e-mail] You're beautiful...

    [Johanna covers her mouth face in pure joy]

  • Stevie: Kathryn listen to Vicki for once.

  • Stevie: Is it loaded?

    Vicki: [as she passes the gun over] Of course not

    Vicki: [as Stevie takes the gun] BANG!

  • Diane: Here's to law school, may it be the three shortest years of my life.

    Jeanie: Here's to reaching my full capacity.

    Diane: A whole quarter of it.

    Stevie: Here's to my new employers at Pan Am, may they never find out I'm afraid of flying.

    Liz: Here's to my mother who never let me forget that I was born with a silver spoon up my ass. But mother you were wrong, it's up my nose!

    Katherine: Here's to my sisters...

    Diane: Oh come on!

    Katherine: No seriously, here's to my sisters without whom I wouldn't be what I am today... wasted!

    Diane: Alright Morgan, now we understand this takes a lot of thinking Morgan...

    Morgan: Here's to...

    [begins to throw up within mouth]

  • Stevie: And when she turned it on it shot that metal thing right up into her face, shot it up just like a gun. Isn't that bad? It shot it up right through her eyeball!

  • Stevie: [about the dead grass surrounding the late neighbor's home] He blamed us for the dead grass, he thought we were going over to his garden and killing it... like there was some conspiracy involving the whole neighberhood against him

  • Stevie: That's a reality check, kids. We're in the South, where ignorance is worn like a badge of honor.

  • Stevie: Then... then what... what are they there for, Winnie?

    Winnie: The police are there so as them as have nothing can't take nothing away from them as have a lot.

Browse more character quotes from The Running Man (1987)