Steve "Fink" Finklestein Quotes in Beerfest (2006)


Steve "Fink" Finklestein Quotes:

  • Barry Badrinath: I was in Thailand playing ping-pong in Ding Dang. I was in a real high stakes game in some opium den. Turns out the guys I was playing aren't the kind of guys who like to lose. After I beat 'em, they beat me. Worked me over pretty good. And this is hard to say... they held me down and shoved a ping-pong paddle up my ass. It's never been the same. Damaged goods.

    Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Gosh, Barry, I'm so sorry. I don't know what I would do if someone shoved a paddle handle up my ass.

    Barry Badrinath: It wasn't the handle. I've been shitting pancakes ever since.

    Great Gam Gam: Mr. Badrinath... we are not so different, you and I. I've had all kinds of things shoved up my ass. I got over it. You will, too.

    [puts a comforting hand on Barry's shoulder]

    Great Gam Gam: You will, too.

  • Barry Badrinath: It's $10 for a BJ, $12 for an HJ, $15 for a ZJ...

    Landfill: [Interrupting] What's a ZJ?

    Barry Badrinath: If you have to ask, you can't afford it.

    Steve "Fink" Finklestein: [Trying to persuade Landfill] I've got $4.

  • Barry Badrinath: Back the fuck up, Antonio! My dick!... My apologies, now 5 dollars to touch it while I touch my toes, 6 dollars to touch it while I touch your... Hey Jan and Todd... and Fink? Hey looking good, Finky!

    Steve "Fink" Finklestein: You too, Barry.

  • Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Drunken recall. I gave my subjects massive quantities of alcohol and then I taught them things while they were blacked out. When they woke up the next morning, they couldn't remember anything. But when I got them drunk again, they remembered everything that I taught them the night before. I got it published.

    Landfill: Where?

    Steve "Fink" Finklestein: In Maxim Magazine under the tile of "E=MC Hammered".

  • Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Somehow I cloned a batch of monkey frogs.

    Todd Wolfhouse: They hand out Nobel prizes for stuff like that?

    Jan Wolfhouse: Let me see that, let me see you little...

    [looking in to the bag, monkey frog screams]

    Jan Wolfhouse: Oh my god!

    Todd Wolfhouse: Oh my god, what have you done?

  • Steve "Fink" Finklestein: I'll show you how to chug a beer, motherfucker, you fat fuckin' cow. L'Chaim!

    [proceeds to drink a half-empty pitcher]

    Landfill: Uh oh! I think somebody's trying to chug in my face!

  • Barry Badrinath: [after drinking Ram's piss] Oh man, that's the most disgusting thing I've ever drank.

    Landfill: I doubt that very much, playboy

    Steve "Fink" Finklestein: I'm gonna puke! Hey guys... I don't think sitting on a rooftop drinking ram's piss is the way to go. We should get out there, and mix it up with some randoms.

    Barry Badrinath: Yeah.

    Landfill: Let's get bombed!

    [everyone cheers]

  • Steve "Fink" Finklestein: I once saw him fart a plum... I was plum surprised.

  • Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Oh that's rich! I've got a cowboy on one side and an Indian on the other! It's like the wild west!

  • Pim Scutney: You're all fur coat and no trousers, you are.

    Steve "Fink" Finklestein: I'm sorry, one more time?

    Rog Gobshire: Shove off! We're gonna put the skitters in your Alan Whickers, you plonker!

    Barry Badrinath: [looking to Fink] Do you know what he's saying?

  • Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Nathan Cornwell has just discovered Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. Big round of applause people, big round of applause.

  • Landfill: If he had it, why didn't he brew it?

    Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Hebrew?

  • Great Gam Gam: You two are the rightful heirs to the Von Wolfhausen Brewery. You should have the balls to take back what is yours!

    Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Wow! You even talk like a whore!

    Great Gam Gam: We are all whores in some ways.

  • Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Come on, guys. I'm a respected member of the scientific community. I've been published in four journals.

    Landfill: Which one? Toad Load Weekly?

  • Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Look at the size of that graduated cylinder!

  • Jan Wolfhouse: So what else do the Germans do?

    Great Gam Gam: They also practice by drinking the urine of a ram.

    Todd Wolfhouse: The - the what?

    Great Gam Gam: They drink ram's piss.

    Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Because of the pH balance?

    Great Gam Gam: No... because if you can drink ram's piss, fuck, you can drink almost anything.

    Steve "Fink" Finklestein: She said "fuck."

Browse more character quotes from Beerfest (2006)