Steve Arlo Quotes in Zero Effect (1998)

Steve Arlo: There aren't any GOOD guys. You realize that, don't you? I mean: there aren't EVIL guys, and INNOCENT guys. It's just - it's just... It's just a bunch of guys.

Steve Arlo: I'll shoot you. Really, I will. I have a gun and everything.

Steve Arlo: [talking about his employer, Daryl Zero] I'm telling you he never even leaves the house, okay. I mean he's like some kind of recluse. Complete freak. No social life. In fact, no social skills. It's a strange fucking thing. When he's working, the smoothest operator you've ever seen. Brave, slick, cunning, can do anything. Soon as he gets off work, it's all gone. Afraid to go to the dry cleaners. Literally. Too uncomfortable in his own skin to go out and eat. Tactless and inept. Rude, too. Just an asshole.

[On the phone with Zero]

Steve Arlo: Are you telling me you can speak six languages and fly a jetliner but you don't know how to file a tax return?... It's never come up?... Does this have to happen right now?... No, that's a "W-2." "WW2" was the Second World War.

Daryl Zero: I did find one other thing of interest, though.

Steve Arlo: Holy shit, those are the keys. You found the gold Swiss Army knife.

Daryl Zero: I know.

Steve Arlo: And this is the safe deposit box key. Where'd you find them?

Daryl Zero: They were in the sofa, under the cushion.

Steve Arlo: What?

Daryl Zero: They were stuck in the couch in his office.

Steve Arlo: Was he hiding them there? Is that possible?

Daryl Zero: Not possible. That's where they fell out of his pocket, over a year ago.

Steve Arlo: So... what do you make of this?

Daryl Zero: I think that just as I feared, Ms. Sullivan doesn't know a thing about these keys.

Steve Arlo: Wait - the keys are a coincidence?

Daryl Zero: Yes.

Steve Arlo: That's - confusing.

Daryl Zero: Yep.

Steve Arlo: Doesn't seem like a good thing.

Daryl Zero: Sure it is. It's good because the man has been looking for his keys for a *year*. And I've found them.

Gregory Stark: Is this your kid?

Steve Arlo: Nope. Just a rental.

Steve Arlo: He can tell you where you were born, how old your mother was at the time, and what you had for breakfast, all within 30 seconds of meeting you.

Steve Arlo: I don't think he's ever kissed a girl. He's like 30-something years old.

Steve Arlo: Why are we talking on the phone?

Daryl Zero: I told you. We can't be too careful. Two guys in an airport... talking? It's a little fishy.

Steve Arlo: Maybe you should stop snorting that shit.

Daryl Zero: Keeps my teeth sharp.

[first lines]

Steve Arlo: It's an uncompromising standard of his practice. He never meets any of his clients. He doesn't speak with them, or, for that matter, communicate in any direct fashion. That's his policy. But I am his sole representative and he is my only employer; and as such, I have full authorization to speak on his behalf on all his matters of business. I have with me a signed letter to that effect. He doesn't negotiate his fee. He works at a flat rate. Under some unusual circumstances, he'll work pro bono - never in between.

Steve Arlo: He can elicit a confession from a criminal without their realizing they're being questioned.

Gregory Stark: How does he do it?

Steve Arlo: He has a deeply nuanced and thoroughly functional understanding of human behavior to rival the great psychoanalytical minds of our time. He understands the criminal mind as well as the innocent mind, the stable mind as well as the psychotic, sociopathic mind. The male, as well as the female.

[They are talking about Stark]

Steve Arlo: You know, there's a pretty severe lack of information problem here. And he won't say much.

Daryl Zero: [rasping, like a Raymond Chandler tough guy] What's wrong with these people?

Steve Arlo: I told him, there's no use lying to you. Eventually, you always figure it out. It's just slowing things down.

Daryl Zero: Did you tell him about the case of the guy who lied about his age?

Steve Arlo: [obviously lying] Of course.

Daryl Zero: Was he impressed?

Steve Arlo: Mm-hmm.

Daryl Zero: Really impressed?

Steve Arlo: Fuckin' flabbergasted.

Steve Arlo: Wait a minute. Are you telling me that, instead of calling me, you had me fly up here so you could tell me to go straight back to the computer - and then fly back again tonight?

Daryl Zero: Yeah, well, it wasn't an emergency. There was no reason to risk the long-distance lines.

[pause]

Daryl Zero: They listen, you know.

Daryl Zero: I've been awake for three days. Three... Just love those amphetamines. Got to love them. Got to.

Steve Arlo: Sounds healthy.

Daryl Zero: It's good for my skin. You know if you do enough of that stuff over a very short period of time, you get, like, these canker sores on your tongue.

Steve Arlo: $5 million, so you can kill someone right away instead of a day later.

Gregory Stark: No, no. For $5 million, you do it.