Stephanie Kehoe, Maid Quotes in Maid in Manhattan (2002)

Paula Burns: Onto new business. Mr. Radcliff is checking out of seven oh nine. Mr. Greenwald is checking in. He's back on the wagon, so let's clear out the minibar. Kanga CFO, Mr. Fukimoro is checking into eight fourteen. Stock Evian, shampoo the rugs and extra slippers for his guests. Marisa heads up on the Madison Suite.

Marisa: Housekeeping.

Paula Burns: Mrs. Sage is arriving with the children, preferably after Mr. Sage's girlfriend departs.

Mr. Sage's Girlfriend: You son of a bitch!

Paula Burns: Let's make sure it's a smooth transition. The Guedj sisters are back. Let's track them on surveillance, but do keep an eye on all bathrobes, cutlery and light fixtures. Sotheby's director, Caroline Lane has switched from the Four Seasons. She requested a park view and favors purple orchids and lavender scenes. Assemblyman Chris Marshall arrives today. He's gearing up his campaign, so his suite will be doubling as a conference centre, with the liquor and coffee bars turning over every four hours. And he's bringing his large dog, so we'll need proper accouterments. And finally, Mr. Newman is back in the Sherman Suite. Careful, ladies, he's a Full Monty.

Full Monty: Oh... I had no idea anyone was here.

Stephanie Kehoe, Maid: Don't worry about it, Mr. Monty. It's no big deal. And I do mean...

Marisa, Stephanie Kehoe, Maid: ...No big deal.

Stephanie Kehoe, Maid: Hi, honey.

[to Marisa]

Stephanie Kehoe, Maid: It's Ty! What are you doing up here?

Ty: Where's Mom?

Stephanie Kehoe, Maid: [seeing Chris walking in] It's for you, ma'am.

Marisa: What are you talking about? Ty, don't you...?

Ty: Hey, Ma, this is Chris. He's got a giant, grey dog named Rufas. And if you say okay, I'm gonna walk with him, okay?

Christopher: Hello.

Marisa: Hi.

Ty: Let's not forget. I'm a kid and I need fresh air. Please, can I go, Mom? Please? Please?

Christopher: I'm Chris Marshall.

Stephanie Kehoe, Maid: Caroline... you want your coat?

Marisa: What?

Stephanie Kehoe, Maid: The weather can be so tricky here. Weren't you just saying, what a beautiful day it was?

Christopher: Oh, you're going out?

Stephanie Kehoe, Maid: Weren't you saying how you wanted to stretch your legs?

Christopher: Well, if your husband wouldn't mind...

Ty: She doesn't have a husband.

Marisa: I don't have a husband.

Christopher: Well, I insist, then. Come with us, if you're free.

Ty: Yeah. Come on, Mom.

Stephanie Kehoe, Maid: You know what I just heard? Christina? History after the first!

Marisa: Christina, kitchen? Or Christina, assistant manager?

Stephanie Kehoe, Maid: Assistant manager. And you know what that means?

Marisa: Yeah, it means somebody else is gonna be bustin' my ass on the second.

Marisa: What are you doing?

Stephanie Kehoe, Maid: Ooh... Dolce, nice.

Marisa: No, no, no, come on, out of there.

Stephanie Kehoe, Maid: I'm just taking a little peek. They're going back anyway.

Marisa: Oh... You know you're gonna get us in trouble.

Stephanie Kehoe, Maid: [touching the Dolce dress] Hello, ladies.

Marisa: Leave that stuff alone. Come on. You know, you're supposed to be helping me out in here.

Stephanie Kehoe, Maid: Oh, feel this material. I mean, it's like butter. Huh?

Marisa: Oh, my God. This stuff is five thousand dollars.

Stephanie Kehoe, Maid: For one white outfit? How do you keep it clean?

Marisa: Scotchguard.

Stephanie Kehoe, Maid: Oh, yeah. They're a six, you're a six.

Marisa: What are you doing? What are you doing?

Stephanie Kehoe, Maid: And shoes too. Shoes. Size nine. Perfect.

Marisa: I'm a seven and a half.

Stephanie Kehoe, Maid: Which means you're an eight. Just put on some gym socks, you're good to go.

Marisa: That's it! Put this stuff back. What are you doing?

Stephanie Kehoe, Maid: Not until you try it on.

Marisa: I can't try on her clothes!

Stephanie Kehoe, Maid: They're not hers. They're not Dolce's. Technically, they've been abandoned. Oh, let's not let them hear us.

Marisa: Who, the clothes?

Stephanie Kehoe, Maid: Marisa Ave Maria Ventura... When are you and I ever get to try on a five thousand dollar anything? Come on, feel how the other half feels, huh?

Stephanie Kehoe, Maid: "It's complicated"? What kind of answer is that?

Marisa: Honest.

Stephanie Kehoe, Maid: The only thing complicated between me and him would be unhooking my bra strap.

Marisa: Look, what am I supposed to do? Make his bed with me in it? Get real! He thinks I'm a guest, here.

Marisa: [seeing a picture of her in the paper] Do you understand this could be bad?

Stephanie Kehoe, Maid: Don't be such a Catholic. Please?

Marisa: I mean, I don't know what I'm doing here, Steph. What am I doing? This is all a lie.

Stephanie Kehoe, Maid: No, honey. It's more like a dream, you know? And for one night, you're living it for all of us. Don't think about tomorrow. Don't think about anything but tonight. Tonight, the maid is a lie. And this, this is who you really are.