State Trooper Quotes in The Fugitive (1993)

State Trooper: [sees Kimble in hospital hallway, disguised as a doctor] Hey, Doc! We're looking for a prisoner from that bus-train wreck a couple of hours ago, might be hurt.

Dr. Richard Kimble: Uh, what does he look like?

State Trooper: 6'1, 180, brown hair, brown eyes, beard. See anyone like that around?

Dr. Richard Kimble: Every time I look in the mirror, pal - except for the beard, of course!

State Trooper: I wanna see your license, "Jack"!

Dr. Jenning: [as the Dark Overlord] I have no license. I am *not* Jack.

[electrocutes state trooper]

Sheriff J.W. Pepper: There's that son of a bitch. I got him.

[to Bond]

Sheriff J.W. Pepper: What are you? Some kinda doomsday machine boy? Well WE got a cage strong enough to hold an animal like you here!

Felix Leiter: Captain, would you enlighten the Sheriff please?

State Trooper: Yessir. J.W., let me have a word with ya. J.W., now this fellow's from London England. He's a Englishman workin' in cooperation with our boys, a sorta... secret agent.

Sheriff J.W. Pepper: Secret AGENT? On WHOSE side?

State Trooper: That look like a boat stuck in the Sheriff's car there, Eddie?

Eddie: Boy, where you been all your life? That there's one of them new car-boats.

Sheriff J.W. Pepper: By the powers INvested IN ME by *this parish*, I hereby do commandeer this vehicle and all those persons within!

[spits and looks at Eddie]

Sheriff J.W. Pepper: And that means YOU, smartass!

Sheriff J.W. Pepper: [radaring behind a sign as Adam passes him, then on radio] Toby. Toby! I got me a regular Ben-Hur down here. Doing 95... minimum

State Trooper: Need any help, J.W.?

Sheriff J.W. Pepper: HELL NO!

State Trooper: You boys gonna go undefeated?

Brian Chavez: Yes sir.

State Trooper: You boys gonna win state?

Brian Chavez: Yes sir.

State Trooper: Good.

[first lines]

State Trooper: [getting on the radio after being passed] Dispatch...

Dispatcher: Go ahead...

State Trooper: Contact the FAA and tell them some smart ass is flying a jet plane around out here without any lights.

State Trooper: Want a peanut?

State Trooper: [sobbing] Please! I have a wife and kids. Please!

Thelma: You do? Well, you're lucky. You be sweet to 'em, especially your wife. My husband wasn't sweet to me. Look how I turned out.

Thelma: [to Louise] I told you to slow down. Officer, I told her to slow down.

Louise: She did.

[gives the state trooper her license]

Louise: How fast was I goin'?

State Trooper: About 110.

Louise: Oh.

State Trooper: Where are you boys from?

Clive Gollings: ...England.

State Trooper: I heard about that place: no guns.

Graeme Willy: Not many...

Clive Gollings: No, not really, just... farmers.

State Trooper: Well how are police supposed to shoot anybody?

Graeme Willy: [Uncomfortable] Well they don't...

Clive Gollings: They- they try not to...

[the state trooper stares at them suspiciously]

Gas Station Attendant: [Cash register rings, breaking the suspense] $15.58.

Graeme Willy: Um, twenty, keep the change... give it to charity or something.

[They hastily exit the store]

State Trooper: [Picks up the kid that got his apple stolen by Sam Sleaze] Are these the two men?

[the kid nods his head]

Sam Sleaze: What seems to be the problem, officer? What's the charge?

State Trooper: [looks through his notebook] What about counterfeiting, extortion, fraud, impersonating a dentist, stealing an apple from a kid?

Sam Sleaze: Oh, about that apple, officer, I can explain that. We was just holding it for a friend.

Sid Sleaze: Yeah, for a friend.

State Trooper: You can tell that to the judge.

Sid Sleaze: [crying] The judge, Sam!

State Trooper: Be a man.

Sid Sleaze: But I don't wanna be a man, Sam!

Sam Sleaze: Shut up, Sid! Shut up!

Sid Sleaze: [crying] The judge, Sam! Jail!

State Trooper: Pullover!

Harry Dunne: No, it's a cardigan, but thanks for noticing.

State Trooper: [Harry is driving fast and a cop is behind him and Lloyd] Pull over!

Harry Dunne: What?

State Trooper: Pull over!

Harry Dunne: [realizes he's holding beer bottles that Lloyd urinated in; shows his sweater] No, it's a cardigan, but thanks for noticin'!

Lloyd Christmas: Yeah, killer boots, man!

State Trooper: Pull your vehicle to the side of the road! License and registration, please. You fellas were going a little fast back there, wouldn't you say? You fellas been doing a bit of boozin', have ya? Suckin back on grandpa's old cough medicine?

Harry Dunne: No, sir.

Lloyd Christmas: No.

State Trooper: [points to the beer bottles] Yeah, well what's that?

Harry Dunne: That's nothing, sir.

Lloyd Christmas: Yeah, nothing.

State Trooper: Yeah, well are you aware that it's against the law to have an open alcohol container here in the state of Pennsylvania? Come on, give me that booze, you little pumpkin pie, hair-cutted freak, come on!

[Harry complies; the cop prepares to drink it, not knowing that Lloyd peed in it]

Harry Dunne: Sir, no! Wait, wait, wait!

Lloyd Christmas: No, sir, don't!

State Trooper: You keep your mouth shut if you know it's good for ya, buddy!

[takes a swig, only to realize he just drank urine]

Lloyd Christmas: Tic-Tac, sir?

State Trooper: Get the hell out of here!

[on the verge of gagging]

State Trooper: You fellas been doing a bit of boozing, have you? Suckin back on grandpa's old cough medicine?

Phil: Hey commander, what's going on?

State Trooper: There's nothing going on. We're closing the road. Big blizzard moving in.

Phil: What blizzard? It's a couple of flakes.

State Trooper: Don't you listen to the weather? We got a major storm here.

Phil: I make the weather! All of this moisture coming up out of the Gulf is gonna push off to the east and hit Altoona.

State Trooper: Pal, you got that moisture on your head. Now you can go back to Punxsutawney, or you can go ahead and freeze to death. It's your choice. So what's it gonna be?

Phil: [pauses] I'm thinking...

State Trooper: What the hell are you driving here?

Del: We had a small fire last night, but we caught it in the nick of time.

State Trooper: Do you have any idea how fast you were going?

Del: Funny enough, I was just talking to my friend about that. Our speedometer has melted and as a result it's very hard to see with any degree of accuracy exactly how fast we were going.

State Trooper: Listen, we're not dishin' the dirt on your husband for the fun of it. We're tryin' to show you what you're up against. It ain't in the books that a man that's had that many numbers would settle down to one.

Nora Charles: Was he really like that?

State Trooper: Was he! Oh, baby!

Nora Charles: I always thought he was bragging.

State Trooper: Cut the chatter Bunny Man!

State Trooper: If you bother us again, I'll personally punch you in the nose so hard it will look like other peoples' noses.

State Trooper: Keep moving! You got a long drive back to town!

Ronnie Jackson: Yeah, well, let me tell YOU something!

State Trooper: What?

Ronnie Jackson: I like long drives.

Ronnie Jackson: That's their racket. They're trying to make people think everybody's crazy.

State Trooper #2: Yeah, but with you they had a head start.

State Trooper: Come on.

Ronnie Jackson: Wait a minute. You gotta listen to me. You gotta TRUST me, fellas. This is the biggest frame-up since "Whistler's Mother!"

State Trooper: Sorry we bothered you. You're not a bad guy for a foreigner.

Kismet: Oh, but I'm going to be a citizen. I'm studying for my examination. Oh, uh, by the way, could either of you gentlemen tell me, who was the eighth president of the United States?

State Trooper: [the two policeman look baffled for a few seconds] So long, bud.

Worm: [while base dealing] Who wants more? I'm in, I'm staging a late night comeback, a "late night rally", just to warn you

Vitter: [Grabs Worm's hand] Hold on there

Worm: What are you doing?

Vitter: Give me the deck

Worm: Relax don't get so agitated

Vitter: Looks like we got a rogue game here

Worm: A what?

State Trooper: What the hell is going on over here?

Vitter: [Referring to Worm] This son of a bitch is base dealing, I caught a hanger

Worm: A "hanger"? What are you saying? I don't even know what you're saying

State Trooper: His saying you're dealing off the bottom of the deck

Worm: Come on guys

Sean Frye: [Referring to Mike] What'd he give him?

Vitter: Seven of hearts

State Trooper: [to Mike and Worm] You boys working? Are you professionals?

Mike McDermott: No listen I was winning before this guy got here

State Trooper: Let the cards do the talking, if the seven didn't help you we'll listen to what you have to say

Worm: [Ozzie turns mike's cards over] hey, three of a kind you've Ozzie three sixes like...

Vitter: SHUT UP

State Trooper: [Vitter gives him the deck of cards and he shows the ace of spades on the bottom] One last thing

Worm: [All the state troopers stand up] Alright take it easy are you going to read us our rights at least?

State trooper: I never gave a ticket to a nun before. I gave a ticket to a guy from the IRS one time. Got audited the next year. I'll tell you what, this time I'll let this one slide, but keep your speed down, yeah?