Stan Podalak Quotes in Space Jam (1996)

[Stan is digging up the golf hole that Michael got sucked down]

Golfer: What are you doing?

Stan Podalak: I'm uh, I'm fixing a divot.

Golfer: Oh.

[shouting back to someone off camera]

Golfer: He's fixing a divot!

Stan Podalak: Let me help! Let me help! I can help! I can help!

Michael Jordan: What can you do?

Stan Podalak: Well, I may not be very tall, but... I'm slow.

Sylvester: And large.

Daffy Duck: And a dork.

Stan Podalak: The mouse? He picked the mouse?

[Stan prepares to take a picture of Michael after the hole in one]

Stan Podalak: Let me get a picture of this. All right, here we go, you want to smile. You reach in, you reach in for the ball and then you smile. OK?

Michael Jordan: Yes.

Stan Podalak: And you think this is good.

Michael Jordan: Just take the picture!

Stan Podalak: All right.

[a rope comes out of the hole and pulls Michael in]

Bill Murray: [after a pause] What kind of camera is that?

Stan Podalak: It's just a

Bill Murray: [interrupts] Would you not point it at me please and close the lens cap?

Stan Podalak: I didn't do anything! I just took...

Larry Bird: Where'd he go?

Stan Podalak: C'mon, Michael! It's game time! Get your Hanes on, lace up your Nikes, grab your Wheaties and your Gatorade, and we'll pick up a Big Mac on the way to the ballpark.

Stan Podalak: [after all of his attempts to dig to find Michael have failed] This is it! THIS IS IT! I don't know where you are, Michael! But wherever you are, you obviously enjoy bein' there more than spendin' time with me!