Stage Manager Quotes in The Man Who Knew Too Little (1997)

Stage Manager: Excuse me, no pass, no entry.

Boris 'The Butcher' Blavasky: I'm looking for a tall American.

Stage Manager: Aren't we all, dear, but we've got a show to put on, in case you didn't notice.

[Lord Johnson-Johnson and the Stage Manager at the Flesh Fair have a disagreement about what to do with David]

Lord Johnson-Johnson: You thinking of not putting him in the show?

Stage Manager: Something as original as this, you don't toss out with the rest of the other garbage.

Lord Johnson-Johnson: Yeah, well, I say originality without purpose is a white elephant. But if money is your purpose. Here's your refund. My compliments.

Stage Manager: [Lord Johnson takes David's hand ready to walk him out into the Flesh Fair show] What are you going to do with him?

Lord Johnson-Johnson: Put him where he belongs. In show business.

[David talks to the Stage Manager of the Flesh Fair]

Stage Manager: No one builds children. No one ever has. What would be the point?

Lord Johnson-Johnson: He could be a custom job. Some rich and lonely scaredy puss's pretend child.

TV Face: [the Mecha next to them in the cage] I'm a custom job. Seventy-five years ago I was Time Magazine's Mecha of the year.

Stage Manager: No, this work is first-rate. A lot of love went into him. David? You are one of a kind. You know that? Who made you?

David: My mommy made me.

Olive: Don't tell me you still think the world revolves around...

Stage Manager: You.

Olive: ...you.

[Stage Manager calls over Make-Up manager, unsatisfied with the actor's appearance]

Makeup Man: What's wrong with it?

Stage Manager: I don't know... it's not convincing. To me, he's just a man with a little mustache.

Makeup Man: But so is Hitler.

Crowd: [Mumbling in agreement]

[the Stage Manager is yelling at the electricians in the theater rafters]

Stage Manager: [pointing to the stage] I told you, I want a spotlight *right here*!

[a miffed electrician drops a spotlight off the rafters. It lands on the stage with a crash]

Stage Manager: [cowed] Thank you.

Stage Manager: Wait! Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Listen, toots, what's the matter with the left leg?

Chorus Girl: Well, I've got a headache.

Stage Manager: Well, go on, sit down, take a load off your mind.

Stage Manager: You were great Mahoney!

Chorus Girl: I'll say you were! You'll be riding in a Rolls Royce by Thursday!

[laughter]

Stage Manager: What a flock of Johns will be waiting at that Stage Door.

Queenie Mahoney: Go on! You can't kid me!

Stage Manager: I'm not kidding you. I may be there myself!

[More laughter]