Squidward Tentacles Quotes in The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water (2015)

Mr. Krabs: The Krabby Patty is what ties us all together! Without it, there will be a complete breakdown of social order! A war of all against all! Dark times are ahead! Dark times indeed!

Squidward Tentacles: Seriously? Aren't you overreacting a bit?

[Scene changes to Mr. Krabs, Squidward and the Bikini Bottom citizens wearing bad clothes and the citizens ran away, screaming in the ruins of Bikini Bottom]

Mr. Krabs: Welcome to the apocalypse, Mr. Squidward. I hope you like leather.

Squidward Tentacles: I prefer suede.

[from trailer]

SpongeBob SquarePants: Cotton candy.

Sandy Cheeks: If you ate all of that, you'll have enough energy to run around the whole world.

[SpongeBob and Patrick ate the cotton candy, starts going hyper, and starts laughing as they run all over the world, but Sandy throws a travel card away as SpongeBob and Patrick are still laughing]

Squidward Tentacles: Ahh! When is the sugar gonna wear off?

[SpongeBob and Patrick fell down front]

[from trailer]

SpongeBob SquarePants: A giant hairy porpoise's beached!

Mr. Krabs: We need to get these guys back in the water.

[the gang tries to roll a human in the ocean, but it landed on them in the sand]

Squidward Tentacles: Ew, this place smells awful!

[from sneak peek]

Squidward Tentacles: Mr. Krabs, the customers are getting restless.

[the customers are yelling "refunds!"]

Mr. Krabs: Listen up, boy get in there and make me customers some krabby patties.

[SpongeBob screams like a girl when he finds out there are no krabby patties there]

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! What's wrong, boy?

[He opens the freezer door a little, and he screamed like a girl as well]

Mr. Krabs: We're out of krabby patties?

SpongeBob SquarePants: How can we make more krabby patties without the secret formula?

Mr. Krabs: You've got to have that formuler memorized by now.

SpongeBob SquarePants: But as you are aware, sir, the Employee Handbook clearly states, and I quote, "No employee may in part, or in whole, commit the Krabby Patty secret formula to any recorded, written, or visual form, including memories, dreams, and/or needlepoint".

Mr. Krabs: [He sobbed] Oh, curse you, fine print!

[from trailer]

Squidward Tentacles: Look at me, I'm a god.

Burger-Beard: Hah!

[He throws six soda plastic rings on Squidward's nose, and Squidward tries to take it off]

Squidward Tentacles: What is this diabolical thing?

[a girl on a sidewalk takes a picture of Squidward on her phone]

[from trailer]

[Squidward inked on his spot on top of a Rock cliff]

Squidward Tentacles: It happens when I'm nervous.

Squidward Tentacles: You know what this needs? Some interpretive dance.

Patrick Star: Good morning Squidward i'll have the usual with cheese.

Squidward Tentacles: We're out of patties right now!

Patrick Star: No more Krabby Patties? NO!

Squidward Tentacles: Squidasurras rex!

Squidward Tentacles: That sound must mean things are back to normal.

Burger-Beard: I'm gonna scrub my armpits with you.

SpongeBob SquarePants: I don't get it.

Squidward Tentacles: Because you're a sponge.

Mr. Eugene H. Krabs: [final scene] Mr. Squidward, front and center! I think we both know who rightfully deserves to wear that manager pin.

Squidward Tentacles: I couldn't agree more, sir.

Fish: Hooray for SpongeBob!

[Crowd cheers]

SpongeBob SquarePants: Wait a second, everybody. There's something I need to say first. I just don't know how to put it.

Squidward Tentacles: I think I know what it is. After going on your life-changing journey, you now realise that you don't want what you thought you wanted. What you really wanted was inside you all along.

SpongeBob SquarePants: Are you crazy? I was just going to say that your fly was down. Manager! This is the greatest day of my LIFE!

Squidward Tentacles: Too bad SpongeBob isn't here to enjoy SpongeBob not being here.

SpongeBob SquarePants: Don't worry, Mr. Krabs. Patrick, Squidward and I...

Squidward Tentacles: [Leaving] Pass.

SpongeBob SquarePants: Uh, Patrick and I...

Patrick Star: Hi.

SpongeBob SquarePants: ...will bring back the crown and save you from Neptune's wrath. You have nothing to worry about. Your life is in our hands.

Mr. Eugene H. Krabs: [worried] Ohh!

Squidward Tentacles: Who turned on the AC?

[Sees the frozen Mr. Krabs]

Squidward Tentacles: Mr Krabs! Oh no, this is terrible! Who's going to sign my paycheck?

Squidward Tentacles: Chum Bucket? Free? Kabby Patty? Plankton? Giving? With?

[Mr. Krabs is marking up the prices for King Neptune]

Squidward Tentacles: One-hundred and one dollars for a Krabby Patty?

Mr. Eugene H. Krabs: With cheese, Mr. Squidward. With cheese.

Squidward Tentacles: Too bad SpongeBob's not here to enjoy SpongeBob not being here.

Squidward Tentacles: So you're selling Krabby Patties, eh Plankton?

Plankton: That's right, Squidward, and there's a free bucket helmet with every purchase. Care for one?

Squidward Tentacles: No. You may have hoodwinked everyone else in this backwater town, but you can't fool me. I listen to public radio.

Plankton: And what's that supposed to mean?

Squidward Tentacles: It means you set up Mr. Krabs. You stole the crown so Neptune would freeze him and you could finally get your stubby paws on the Krabby Patty formula. It was you all along. But you made one fatal mistake. You messed with my paycheck and I'm gonna report you to the highest authority in the land, King Neptune!

Plankton: We'll see about that, Inspector Looselips.

[Plankton laughs and he presses a button on Karen]

Karen the Computer: Now activating helmet brain-control devices.

Squidward Tentacles: Huh?

Squidward Tentacles: [Finds SpongeBob in his shower with him] SpongeBob! What are you DOING in here?

SpongeBob SquarePants: I have to tell you something, Squidward.

Squidward Tentacles: Whatever it is, can't it wait until we get to work?

SpongeBob SquarePants: There's no shower at work.

Squidward Tentacles: What do you WANT?

SpongeBob SquarePants: I just wanted to let you know I'll be thanking you in my managerial acceptance speech today.

Squidward Tentacles: [shouts] GET OUT!

[kicks SpongeBob out of the window]

SpongeBob SquarePants: [cheerfully, on the ground] Okay! I'll see you at the ceremony!

Squidward Tentacles: I listen to public radio.

Squidward Tentacles: One hundred and one dollars for a Krabby Patty?

Mr. Eugene H. Krabs: With cheese, Mr. Squidward, with cheese.