Squid Quotes in Universal Soldier: The Return (1999)

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Squid Quotes:

  • [watching the news, Squid watches as a news crew is blown up]

    Squid: [laughing] I'll bet that hurt!

  • Magnet: Hey. Maybe it'll rain for 40 days and 40 nights, like it did in the Bible.

    Armpit: Yeah, maybe we'll have to build an arc.

    Squid: We'll get two of every animal...

    X-Ray: Yeah, two scorpions, two rattlesnakes, two yellow spotted lizards all that.

  • Magnet: Maybe he found Zero. Maybe they're still alive.

    X-Ray: Yeah, and maybe the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy are still alive.

    Squid: Maybe my mom'll stop drinkin' and my dad'll come back.

    Twitch: Man when Caveman stole that truck... oh...

    Zig-Zag: That was awesome.

    Armpit: Yeah, Caveman did have style.

  • Zero: Did they have red X's on them?

    Squid: You got Zero to talk.

    Armpit: Hey yo, what else can you do Zero?

    [Zero looks at his food]

    Stanley: Yeah. Yeah they did.

  • Zig-Zag: What color was it's blood?

    Stanley: I-I don't know. I couldn't tell.

    Zig-Zag: I wish I'd a seen it. Bam!

    Magnet: If Mr. Sir didn't shoot it, Stanley, you'd be in the hole.

    Zig-Zag: Don't you know each one's got exactly 11 spots?

    Squid: Yeah, man, but if you ever get close enough to count 'em, you're dead.

    Armpit: Look, it's the lizards we're workin' for, man. We build their houses for 'em. I mean, yesterday I saw 10 of 'em in one hole.

    Squid: We ain't diggin' for no lizards

    Armpit: What we diggin' for then man?

    X-Ray: Like Mr. Sir said, we diggin' to build some character.

  • Stanley: Man how did she know my name?

    Zig-Zag: Oh, man, she's got the whole place wired. Oh yeah, she has these little cameras and microphones all over the place. In the tent, in the rec room, in the showers.

    Stanley: They're not in the showers.

    Squid: Oh don't listen to him. I read his file. It said he suffers from, um, oh. acute paranoia.

    Magnet: So I guess that means she watches me everyday, huh.

    Armpit: Man, he said cameras and microphones, not microscopes.

  • [X-ray takes Stanley's shovel]

    Magnet: You picked up X-Ray's shovel. It's shorter than the rest of 'em.

    Squid: Smaller shovel, smaller hole.

  • Stanley: I stole a pair of shoes.

    Squid: From a store or were they on someone's feet?

    Zig-Zag: No, he killed the guy first, just left out that little detail, huh?

  • Stanley: Look, it says KB.

    Zig-Zag: Yeah... yeah that's Keith Barrenger.

    Squid: Who?

    Zig-Zag: He was in my math class.

  • [after Mr. Pendanski introduced everyone]

    Squid: And that's Mom!

  • Squid: Hey look! A cloud!

    [points to it]

    Squid: Right there!

  • Dave: [fixes the video connection] How about now?

    Private: Hurray!

    Classified: Yes! Way to go, looks fantastic!

    Dave: Excellent! Now, where was I?

    [laughs maniacally]

    Kowalski: Dave!

    Short Fuse: Grrrr!

    Dave: Greetings, North Wind. I see you've met my old zoo-mates.

    Skipper: We were never "mates." There was no mating.

    Classified: Turn yourself in, David. You are powerless now that I have stolen your precious Medusa Serum.

    Skipper: What? You didn't steal that!

    Classified: It's over.

    Dave: It's over?

    [mock-confusion]

    Dave: Then... why did I call you? Wierd. OH! Maybe it was to show you *this*!

    [turns camera to reveal a large vat of Medusa Serum]

    Kowalski: [collective gasp from everyone] That is a lot of serum for four penguins.

    Dave: Oh, you thought this was just about you four? No, no-no-no-no. We're just getting started.

    [takes a selfie]

    Dave: Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go do some shopping... FOR REVENGE!

    [hits button, buzzer sounds. hits button again, same result]

    Dave: Wait. How do you...?

    Squid: [gurgles instructions]

    Dave: What do I push?

    Squid: [points and gurgles]

    Dave: Is it the red, or...

    Squid 2: [points, gurgles, and slaps own head in frustration]

    Dave: I thought it was... it's not this -

    [screen goes black]

  • Pilot: [Max has just accidentally shot a hole in the plane's controls and the plane is slowly going down]

    [talking to the plane]

    Pilot: Come on baby, stay with me, stay with me!

    Max: Shit! Fuck!

    Squid: Shiiiit!

    Max: [the plane is now right above the water] FUUUUUCK!

Browse more character quotes from Universal Soldier: The Return (1999)

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Characters on Universal Soldier: The Return (1999)