Spud Quotes in State and Main (2000)

Bunky: Well, it takes all kinds.

Spud: That's what it takes? I always wondered what it took.

Wigsy: [coming out of the church in Mexico and seeing the Northern Ireland team heading in]

Wigsy: Lads! It's us. There is no point batting and fighting your way trough all them cathoholics. Me and Spud here have lit about thirty candles. That's gonna cover the whole bench and all.

Pat Jennings: Fair play to yous, lads.

Spud: [shaking hands with the players] Scary. Me and him's Protestants.

Pat Jennings: Sorry to hear that.

Spud: Thanks, Pat.

Wigsy: But God is God, and a candle's a candle. Who is going to know what religion you are around here? Although, back home me and him'll be history, no questions asked.

Diana Lewis: What d'ye think I am? Soft or something?

Spud: Yeah.

Spud: First, there's an opportunity. Then... there's a betrayal.

Spud: [Renton has just saved Spud from asphyxiating] You ruined my life, and now you're ruining my fucking death too!

Renton: I gave you 4000 pounds.

Spud: Well, what did you think I would do with them? I'M A FUCKING JUNKIE!

Renton: Yes... Yes, I suppose you was.

Spud: I still am.

Spud: "We went for a piss in the old Leith Central Station. Me, Renton and Begbie. Place was empty, soon to be demolished. An old drunkard whom Begbie had been looking at, lurched up to us, wine bottle in his hand."

Begbie's Father: What're you up to, lads, eh? Trainspotting? In Leith Central?

Spud: "He says laughing. I noticed Begbie seemed strangely subdued and uncomfortable. It was only then I realised. The old wino was Begbie's father."

Veronika: I like your stories. I think you should write them down.

Spud: You think?

Veronika: Yeah. Just write them the way you say them. They're funny. I would like to read them.

Gail, Lizzie: What are you two talking about?

Spud, Tommy: Football! What are you talking about?

Gail, Lizzie: Shopping!

Spud: [singing] Did you think I would leave you crying, when there's room on my horse for two? Climb up here, Tommy and don't be dying, I can go just as fast with two. When we grow up we'll both be soldiers And our horses will not be toys, and I wonder if we'll remember when we were two little boys.

1st Interviewer: Mr. Murphy, do you mean that you lied on your application?

Spud: No! Uh. Yes. Only to get my foot in the door. Showing initiative and that like.

1st Interviewer: But you were referred here by the department of employment, there was no need for you to get your "foot in the door," as you put it.

Spud: Ehhh... cool. Whatever you say, I'm sorry. You're the man. The dude in the chair.

2nd Interviewer: Mr. Murphy, what attracts you to the leisure industry?

Spud: In a word: pleasure. It's like, my pleasure in other people's leisure.

Tommy: Very, absolutely fucking radge. "It's me, or Iggy Pop", she says.

Spud: So what're you gonna do?

Tommy: Well I paid for the tickets!

Tommy: How's it going with Gail?

Spud: No joy yet.

Tommy: How long is it?

Spud: Six weeks.

Tommy: Six weeks!

Spud: It's a nightmare. She told me she didn't want our relationship to start on a physical basis as that is how it would be principally defined from then on in.

Tommy: Where did she come up with that?

Spud: She read it in Cosmopolitan.

Tommy: Six weeks and no sex?

Spud: I've got balls like watermelons, I'm telling you.

Tommy: Useless motherfucker, that's what she called me. I told her, I'm sorry, but these things happen. Let's put it behind us.

Spud: That's fair enough.

Tommy: Yes, but then she finds out I've bought a ticket for Iggy Pop the same night.

Spud: Went ballistic?

Tommy: Big time. Absolutely fucking radge. 'It's me or Iggy Pop, time to decide.'

Spud: So what's it going to be?

Tommy: Well, I've paid for the ticket.

Spud: I could really handle some hot sex with a Jewish princess!