Sporty Quotes in Spice World (1997)

Spice Girls: We're the Spice Girls, yes indeed. Just Girl Power is all we need. We know how we got this far.

Ginger Spice: Strength and courage and a Wonderbra!

Spice Girls: Would this work with only one?

Baby: Just with me I have no fun.

Spice Girls: Would this work with only two?

Scary Spice: We need more for what we do.

Spice Girls: Would this work with only three?

Sporty: Three's a crowd, bad company.

Spice Girls: Would this work with only four?

Posh: No way, girl, we need one more!

Spice Girls: Listen up, take my advice - we need five for the power of Spice. Give it up, give it out, take a stand, scream and shout! One, two, three, four, five Spice Girls!

Clifford: Look at this! Front page news, again. Suppose the whole lot of you'd been drowned.

Ginger Spice: Well, we weren't though, were we?

Posh: Speak for yourself.

Clifford: What did you think you were doing? Going off like that?

Scary Spice: We were just having fun!

Clifford: What?

Baby: Fun! You know, like ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Sporty: Look, Clifford, we're old enough to take responsibility for our own lives, do you know what I mean?

Clifford: You don't have a life, you have a schedule! You are part of a well-oiled, global machine! There are people everywhere working their butts off for you! People like Deborah, here.

Deborah: Oh, can we leave my butt out of this, please?

Ginger Spice: Oh, just don't be so uptight, Clifford.

Clifford: Uptight? Uptight? You've got a live gig here tomorrow. It's my job to see that you turn up. My bum is on the line, here!

Posh: Can you please leave butts and bums out of this, for one minute?

Sporty: Clifford, some things are more important than gigs, you know.

Clifford: Like what?

Ginger Spice: Like self respect and our freedom, for a start!

Baby: Yeah, and friendship!

Clifford: What are you saying? You-you don't want to turn up here, tomorrow night?

Ginger Spice: [defiantly] Well, maybe we don't.

Baby: What'd you say that for?

Ginger Spice: I don't know, I just said it.

Deborah: He didn't mean that!

Clifford: [defiantly] Oh, didn't I?

Baby: [Tearfully] Look, can we please stop arguing?

Posh: When you know exactly what we're supposed to be doing. Will somebody please let me know?

[she storms off]

Scary Spice: [Angrily] Oh great, Clifford! Now look what you've gone and done!

Clifford: Well, that's just too bad!

Scary Spice: Well yeahj it is too bad cos you know what? I'm going home now, see ya!

[follows Victoria]

Clifford: Bye!

Baby: Look can we stop? All this, this is doing my head in.

[exits]

Sporty: [follows her bandmate in concern]

Sporty: Emma!

[runs after her]

Sporty: [a long oause ensues, and only Geri is left]

Ginger Spice: I hope you know what you're doing, cos if you're looking for a fight. you're gonna lose!

[the keyboardist has just made a mistake]

Sporty: Hold on, hold on. What's going on?

Ginger Spice: What are you doing, duh?

Scary Spice: Sort your fingers out, dude!

Sporty: Or have you got boxing gloves on?

Posh: [after the girls hear noises in the night and after running into each other and scaring themselves, seek refuge in Victoria's room] It's pathetic, you know, that we can't even sleep in our own rooms

Sporty: Yeah, I don't know what we're making such a fuss for, it's only an old house!

Posh: A big old house

Baby: [very scared] A big old scary haunted, big old house!

Ginger Spice: [as Sporty Spice] Hup! Hup! Hup! I'm so Sporty!

[Kicks at the camera]

Ginger Spice: Ha! Hup! Hup!

Baby: [as Scary Spice] Rah!

Posh: [as Baby Spice] My mummy's my best friend. Shh!

Sporty: [as Posh Spice] I'm just too Posh.

Ginger Spice: [as Sporty Spice] When's Liverpool gonna win the cup, like, eh?

Baby: [as Scary Spice] Are we finished yet?

Scary Spice: [as Ginger Spice] Um, blah, blah, blah. And, Girl Power. Feminism, d'you know what I mean?

Baby: [as Scary Spice] Oh no!

Ginger Spice: [as Sporty Spice, jumps onto the runway] Yo!

Scary Spice: [as Ginger Spice] I feel as though I'm bein' strangled. How do you feel?

Sporty: [as Posh Spice] Really uncomfortable!

Posh: [as Baby Spice] Well, I just nearly fell off these shoes and sprained my ankles.

Baby: [as Scary Spice] These things are really tight. They go right up my bum.

Ginger Spice: [as Sporty Spice] There are really comfy, actually.

Sporty: [as Posh Spice] Don't even think about it!

Baby: [as Scary Spice] I'm off. I'm gettin' these off! Bring me some platforms

Scary Spice: [as Ginger Spice] How can you wear these things?

Ginger Spice: [as Sporty Spice] You look a pile of crap in my clothes, anyway.

Clifford: Well done girls, excellent performance

Scary Spice: What are you talking about, you weren't even watching Clifford!

Clifford: Yes I was!

Sporty: Don't lie, no you weren't!

Clifford: I sensed the vibes! I have an excellent vibe sensor right here

Scary Spice: Yeah right.

Baby: He just doesn't love us anymore!

Clifford: Oh yes I do. I love you like a wildebeest loves five lionesses chewing at his legs!

Baby: Rawr!

[Clifford sits silently backstage, panicked that the girls really aren't going to show up for the concert. Finally he speaks to the documentary camera]

Clifford: Okay. So this is the plan. The band starts up, the fans go wild, the lights come on, and I walk center stage and hang myself.

[to the camera man]

Clifford: Oh by the way this is my good side.

[back to the audience]

Clifford: My final words are, "The Spice Girls? I hate them!"

[Suddenly the girls burst through the door shouting and laughing]

Scary Spice: Hey! What you doing sitting around?

Baby: Come on! We got a show to do!

Ginger Spice: How ya doing?

Sporty: Where are the mics?

Posh: Where are the clothes!

Scary Spice: And where are the bacon butties?

Clifford: I love those girls! I love those girls!

Sporty: Oy, don't you be starting on Capricorns.

Sporty: [after falling into the bus] Victoria!

Posh: Sorry!

Graydon: [Describing the events as they are happening] Now they're coming up on the tower bridge.

Voice of Bridge Keeper: Attention, please. Your attention, please. The bridge will shortly be lifted.

Graydon: The road is rising right in front of them to let a boat through!

Posh: The bridge is going up!

Graydon: They can't believe it!

Scary Spice: Oh, my god! I don't believe it!

Graydon: Are they crazy enough to try and jump the gap?

[Sporty, Baby, Ginger, and Scary put on their "game faces"]

Posh: Hold onto your knickers, girls!

Graydon: Hey, baby! These are the Spice Girls, of course they're gonna go for it! Up it goes. A five ton London bus sailing through the air at seventy miles an hour! It's incredible!

Martin Barnfield: It's expensive!

[the Spice Bus easily jumps the gap]

Martin Barnfield: Um... not necessarily.

Graydon: But then, just when you think they're safe, they discover the bomb.

Martin Barnfield: What bomb?

Baby: [Opens up a secret door, looks at the bomb, and screams]

Graydon: That bomb.

Scary Spice, Ginger Spice, Sporty, Baby, Posh: [All scream]

Martin Barnfield: Why?

Graydon: Those are the rules.

Martin Barnfield: My god, I've had enough of the rules!

[Attempts to choke Graydon, but Clifford holds him back]

Martin Barnfield: What are you trying to do, kill them? No more! They've suffered enough! Please!

Graydon: All right! All right! They... they run up the steps to the Albert Hall, zoom past the guards, hurdle down the corridor, and they burst through that door right there.

[Points to the door]

Clifford: [Watches the door, expecting to see the Spice Girls run in. When they don't, he attemspt to choke Graydon. Martin tries to hold him back] You lied to me!

Martin Barnfield: Hey! Hey! Hey, now! Hey! Hey! That's enough of that!

Clifford: Where are they?

Graydon: [Still choking] I'll rewrite it.

Scary Spice: [the girls are in the woods at night and frightened] Something just pushed past me, and I'm not joking!

Ginger Spice: Probably one of those disgusting beasts want to eat you.

Baby: [frightened] Ugh!

Sporty: [the girls hear a loud, strange noise that sounds like a fart] Oh pack it in, Mel!

Scary Spice: [indignantly] It wasn't me!

Sporty: [the girls see a spaceship] What's that?

Ginger Spice: Oh my God, run for it!

Baby: I can't move!

Alien 1: [the aliens land their spaceship and walk out]

[in alien language]

Alien 1: It's them! It's them! Look!

Alien 2: [in alien language] Are you sure?

Alien 1: [in alien language] Yes! There's the little blonde one.

Alien 2: [in alien language] That's what you said before - and it was a sheep!

Scary Spice: [one of the aliens tries to touch Scary's breast] Oi! Get off!

Sporty: [exasperated] Mel, you've done it now!

Alien 1: [in alien language] I told you shake hands!

Alien 1: [in unintelligible alien language] Can I have your autograph? It's not for me, it's for my brother.

Sporty: What's his name?

Alien 1: [in unintelligible alien language] Krtkkarphillmuk.

Sporty: [confused] Is that three or four K's?

Ginger Spice: That's it, push!

Nicola: I am pushing!

Sporty: Are you sure she should be pushing?

Scary Spice: Well what else is she gonna do?

Nicola: Is it a boy or a girl?

Baby: It's a beetroot!

Sporty: It's a girl!

Ginger Spice: [the girls are talking about male and female body language] Apparently there are these animals in the jungle or the rainforest or somewhere like that. Anyway, when the male's courting the female, he goes up to her and pees on her.

[the rest of the girls make disgusted noises]

Sporty: Geri, did you have to?

Ginger Spice: No, but it's his way of showing he fancies her, and the thing is, they get it on afterwards and mate.

Baby: Well, called me old fashioned but I'd much prefer a bunch of flowers.

Sporty: Why Milan, Clifford?

Clifford: Just a TV special. Italians, screaming fans, the usual thing.

Scary Spice: Are we there yet?

Posh: Was that really worth it?

Sporty: I'm so glad we've got the morning off.

Baby: Yeah. First time in over a month, Clifford.

Scary Spice: Are we there yet?