Spencer Quotes in Southern Comfort (1981)

Simms: Hey Spencer. What about company command? They should be wondering about us, don't you think?

Spencer: No. Not yet.

Simms: We've been out of contact for 12 hours.

Cpl. 'Coach' Bowden: He's right. They should be looking for us by now.

Spencer: No way. National Guard, remember. We were supposed to meet the trucks 20 minutes ago. Another hour and a half the trucks will actually show up. Two o'clock they'll start asking around if anyone's seen us. At three they'll start checking the bars. At four they'll really get steamed. At five it will occur to someone that maybe we got lost. At six the captain will consider calling battalion; at seven thirty he will.Battalion will tell him it's too late; there's nothing anyone can do till morning.

Spencer: Here's your ammo... blade to the throat, huh, that how they do these things in El Paso?

Hardin: Yeah, that's how they do things where I grew up.

Spencer: Thought you're some kind of chemical engineer.

Hardin: I am, and I'm out of the habit of spending time with a bunch of gun-totin' rednecks.

Spencer: Well, you know how it is, down here in Louisiana, we don't carry guns, we carry ropes, RC colas and moon pies, we're not too smart, but we have a real good time.

Sgt. Casper: [looking at a map, obviously puzzled] There's supposed to be a river here.

Spencer: Them ecology boys must've moved it.

Spencer: [Hardin and Spencer are trying to find a way out of the woods] Maybe we should call the National Guard?

Spencer: How long you been married?

Hardin: Five years.

Spencer: Happily?

Hardin: Yeah. I like her, she's got a good sense of humor. Why do you ask?

Spencer: Well, I just figured if I get out of here alive and you don't, I might look her up.

Hardin: Hey, I said *she* has a good sense of humor. *I* don't.

Spencer: It's all set. Noleen and her bayou queens. Just a little something for morale. And let me add, Sergeant, that these women are expecting some, uh, small unit military penetration.

Spencer: Smokes made it through the water, huh?

Hardin: Yeah, saved a pack. Lucky, huh?

Spencer: Now boys, the purpose of the Louisiana National Guard is to keep you darker boys away from decent Southern women, but in the spirit of the New South, I have made full arrangements.

Spencer: And what'd you paint the cross on your chest for?

Cpl. 'Coach' Bowden: That's part of the joke.

Spencer: What joke?

Cpl. 'Coach' Bowden: It's a corporal joke, private.

Sgt. Casper: Oh what the hell Bowden, you dumb son of a bitch, you just blew up all the supplies we captured, all the guns, the ammo, the food...

Spencer: He don't need socks, he got hair all over his feet.

Spencer: Goddamn it you come popping in here to borrow my wife... She ain't a lawnmower!

Nick Colton: You're right Spence, and I admit I was outta line before. I don't know where the hell I got the guts to ask your lady to pose as a whore. But I swear to you, this time it's nothing.

Spencer: What do want her to do?

Spencer: I don't think we're gonna make it into the future.

Geppetto: Now just be yourself at school. School bag. And listen to what your teacher says.

[the robot arm puts the backpack on Pinocchio]

Spencer: Calm down doc. Now remember chew your food ten times before you speak.

Pinocchio: But robots don't eat.

Geppetto: Don't mix them up with your sayings Spencer. Doesn't my son look good?

[Geppetto hugs Pinocchio]

Spencer: Say cheese.

[Spencer takes the picture with his digital camera eye]

Geppetto: Hurry you're going to be late.

[They walk out the front door outside]

Pinocchio: Bye dad.

[Pinocchio waves goodbye and walks to school with Spencer the Penguin]

Geppetto: My son in school.

House: You should be proud Mr. Geppetto.

Spencer's Father: Be like me.

[Fells Spencer]

Spencer's Father: Be like me, be like me.

Freddy Krueger: Father knows best.

[after grabbing the tennis racket and while hitting him with it]

Spencer: I'm not like you! I don't wanna be like you! Not like you!

Childless Woman: [spots Tracy, Spencer and Carlos] Oh, what beautiful adorable children!

[leans close to Carlos]

Childless Woman: Would you like to come live with us? It's been so long since we've had children in the house. So long...

Childless Woman: [pinching all their cheeks and hugging them] This time I swear it'll be different. This time I'll be careful and I'll hide you better so that he'll never find you.

[pretends to pull Tracy's nose off]

Childless Woman: Lookie, I got your nose! Lookie!

Childless Man: Ethel!

[pulls her away]

Childless Woman: I want my children back!

Childless Man: You know they bring HIM!

Childless Man: [bell at the school starts to sound] Now see what you done did!

[the couple run off]

Tracy: Jesus.

Spencer: We're in Twin Peaks here.

Tracy: Definitely.

Spencer: [after eating an apple in the dream video game] Super Spencer!

Tracy: I can't find Carlos.

Spencer: You see what's on this TV?

Tone: Are you shagging her then?

Brian Jackson: It's platonic.

Spencer: What does that mean?

Tone: Means she won't let him shag her.

Spencer: Listen, Bri. You're my oldest mate, you're my best mate and I love ya. And I think it's great that you're going out there meeting all these new people, staying in cottages - all that stuff. Promise me one thing, yeah? Promise me you haven't turned into a wanker.

[Spencer gives a tape to Brian]

Brian Jackson: Wow, thanks Spence.

Spencer: God, it's only a tape - don't get all gay about it!

Spencer: First you say you don't love me, then you spend two nights at a man's villa, and finally, when you return you're arrested.

Lisa Helena Fellini: Oh, well...

Spencer: Frankly, Lisa, I can't allow this to go on after we're married.

Spencer: I can tell you I've had some problems: those sisters of mine. Well, I had the deuce of a job persuading them that it was the accepted thing nowadays for an Englishman to marry a foreigner.

Lisa Helena Fellini: Here in Italy, I am not the foreigner; you and your sisters are the foreigners.

Spencer: All the great people in history had passion and love. And that's what I want.

Melora: How do I look?

Spencer: Exactly like you did in the forth grade.

Melora: What? Short and scrawny?

Spencer: No. Beautiful.

Spencer: I guess I first realized I was gay when I put together some fabulous throw pillows that matched the curtains in the breakfast nook of my tree house.

Spencer: You know, I was just thinking. An insurance company could go flat broke in this prison.

Joe Collins: [Spencer is wavering about whether to join in with Joe's escape plan] Spencer. In or out? No guarantees go with this break. It's all or nothing. But you've gotta' make up your mind now. Now! Either way, no hard feelings.

Spencer: [after long, thoughtful pause] With you, Joe. I'll play along.

Robert 'Soldier' Becker: I never thought different.

Spencer: Neither did I.

Spencer: Kyle, slow down! She said she was sick.

Kyle: Look, I'm feeling sick too, all right? Now everyone shut the fuck up and let me concentrate!

Rachel: Will you please be careful?

Kyle: Listen, Rachel, we know it's your dad's shitty RV! We've heard it a million fucking times!

Spencer: Well, this should be a fun weekend.

Rachel: No shit.

Spencer: I am doing this to keep us alive, don't you understand; we cannot leave this room!

Sadie: I don't want to stay here.

Spencer: None of us want to be here. But we can't exactly help that, can we?

Spencer: What are you writing, Sadie?

Sadie: A letter.

Andrew: To who?

Sadie: To my mother.

Spencer: Your mother?

Sadie: [finishing writing] Yes. I try to write to her at least once a year. It's the only way...

Spencer: You really think she's gonna get that? I mean, do you even think you're going to get a chance to send it? There is no more postal service, Sadie. I hate to break it to you, but the only way your mom is gonna get that letter is if you give it to her yourself when all of this is over.

Sadie: My mother is dead. She died when I was 12. She didn't tell anyone; she was so stubborn like that. And then when she was gone it was... So I write to her. It's the only way... it's the only thing I have left.

Spencer: Well, Indians don't fight in the dark. It's against their religion.

Arch Deans: Did they seem all that religious to you?

Spencer: How many (Indians) do you think there are?

Arch Deans: Four, I think.

Spencer: How do you know there's four?

Arch Deans: I counted their feet and divided by two.

Spencer: Once she gets excited she can hardly speak, so I give her a whack. It shakes her brain box up a bit.