Spalding Smails Quotes in Caddyshack (1980)

Spalding Smails: I want a hamburger. No, cheeseburger. I want a hot dog. I want a milkshake. I want potato salad...

[gets cut off by Judge Smails]

Judge Smails: You'll get nothing, and like it!

Judge Smails: Spaulding, get dressed you're playing golf.

Spalding Smails: No I'm not grandpa I'm playing tennis.

Judge Smails: You're playing golf and you're going to like it.

Spalding Smails: What about my asthma?

Judge Smails: I'll give you asthma.

[Caddy Danny arrives among the rich in his yachting outfit]

Spalding Smails: Ahoy polloi... where did you come from, a scotch ad?

Spalding Smails: This is good stuff. I got it from a Negro. You're probably high already and you don't even know it.

Spalding Smails: Turds.

Judge Smails: Spaulding, how many times have I spoken to you about your language?

Spalding Smails: Sorry grandpa I forgot.

Judge Smails: Oh Dr. Beeper, Bishop Pickering this is my niece Lacey Underall. Lacey's mother sent her to us for the summer.

Dr. Beeper: Must be a nice change from dreary old Manhattan.

Lacey Underall: Yes I was really getting tired of having fun all the time.

Judge Smails: Ah. Ho ho. Ha ha ha.

Spalding Smails: Double turds.

Judge Smails: *Spaulding*!

Spalding Smails: Doodie!

Pre-deb: [hits a joint, coughs] What kind of sh**t is this?

Spalding Smails: It's the best, man-I got it from a negro.

Spalding Smails: You're probably so high already you don't even know it.