Spalding Smails Quotes in Caddyshack (1980)
Spalding Smails Quotes:
Spalding Smails: I want a hamburger. No, cheeseburger. I want a hot dog. I want a milkshake. I want potato salad...
[gets cut off by Judge Smails]
Judge Smails: You'll get nothing, and like it!
Judge Smails: Spaulding, get dressed you're playing golf.
Spalding Smails: No I'm not grandpa I'm playing tennis.
Judge Smails: You're playing golf and you're going to like it.
Spalding Smails: What about my asthma?
Judge Smails: I'll give you asthma.
[Caddy Danny arrives among the rich in his yachting outfit]
Spalding Smails: Ahoy polloi... where did you come from, a scotch ad?
Spalding Smails: This is good stuff. I got it from a Negro. You're probably high already and you don't even know it.
Spalding Smails: Turds.
Judge Smails: Spaulding, how many times have I spoken to you about your language?
Spalding Smails: Sorry grandpa I forgot.
Judge Smails: Oh Dr. Beeper, Bishop Pickering this is my niece Lacey Underall. Lacey's mother sent her to us for the summer.
Dr. Beeper: Must be a nice change from dreary old Manhattan.
Lacey Underall: Yes I was really getting tired of having fun all the time.
Judge Smails: Ah. Ho ho. Ha ha ha.
Spalding Smails: Double turds.
Judge Smails: *Spaulding*!
Spalding Smails: Doodie!
Pre-deb: [hits a joint, coughs] What kind of sh**t is this?
Spalding Smails: It's the best, man-I got it from a negro.
Spalding Smails: You're probably so high already you don't even know it.
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