Sophie Aster Quotes in G.B.F. (2013)
Sophie Aster Quotes:
Sophie Aster: [to Tanner and Brent] You know what? You both have become so much more than these bitches' sexless accessories. You've become full-blown tools, in EVERY sense of the word.
Sophie Aster: Like, I will find a real live gay, even if I have to drag the little teen queen out of the closet myself.
[Sophie and Glenn approach the ticket table for Fawcett's "cool" prom]
Sophie Aster: [to Tanner] I hear you and "Spigot" here are denying certain less-than-favorable people tickets.
Fawcett Brooks: Relax, "So-Fat." You and "Memoirs of a Gay Nerd" are allowed to come. I'm giving you a temporary pass to the cool kid's table.
Sophie Aster: We wouldn't come if you paid us, Fawcett - or should I say "Fascist?"
Fawcett Brooks: It's your social funeral, sweetie.
Sophie Aster: I'll start mourning now.
Brent Van Camp: All the teen and tween rags agree - the hottest new trend sweeping schools worldwide is the G.B.F.
Sophie Aster: G.B.F.?
Brent Van Camp: Gay best friend. Every celeb has one, so every teen girl needs one, and pretty soon all three prom-queen front-runners will be battling it out for my attention.
Sophie Aster: And is he wearing bronzer?
Glenn Cho: He's... Spray-Tanner, now.
Brent Van Camp: 'Shley's Mormon. Their whole shtick is just being relentlessly nice to you until you give up and throw on a pair of their magic underwear.
Sophie Aster: Yeah, they smile to your face and Prop-8 you in the back.
Sophie Aster: What the hell is Guydar?
Glenn Cho: Where have YOU been? It's the new app that lets gay guys find other gay guys through state-of-the-art, globally-positioned technology.
Brent Van Camp: She knows.
Glenn Cho: [defensively] I only know about it because Brent here tried to download it onto MY phone.
Brent Van Camp: Yeah, and hetero buzzkill here totally cock-blocked me.
Tanner Daniels: See, I'm not soiling my pristine phone with some slutty gay hookup app.
Brent Van Camp: Tanner, we're not gonna DO anything. We're just gonna... see if there ARE other gay guys in this town and find out how many cubic feet away they are from us. It's science.
Sophie Aster: I never RSVP'd to a non-stop pity party.
Tanner Daniels: I think I have to barf.
Sophie Aster: I'll hold your hair.
Sophie Aster: The indignities and humiliations a guy will go through just for some Mormon ginger-muff.
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