Sonny Quotes in I, Robot (2004)
Detective Del Spooner: Human beings have dreams. Even dogs have dreams, but not you, you are just a machine. An imitation of life. Can a robot write a symphony? Can a robot turn a... canvas into a beautiful masterpiece?
Sonny: Can *you*?
Detective Del Spooner: I thought you were dead.
Sonny: Technically I was never alive, but I appreciate your concern.
Detective Del Spooner: Sonny.
Sonny: Yes, detective?
Detective Del Spooner: Calvin's fine, save me.
Sonny: What does this action signify?
Sonny: As you walked in the room, when you looked at the other human. What does it mean?
Detective Del Spooner: It's a sign of trust. It's a human thing. You wouldn't understand.
Detective Del Spooner: [Sonny has Calvin head-locked with a gun to her head] Let her go.
Sonny: By the time you fire, I will have moved Dr. Calvin's head into the path of your bullet. I will escort you outside to the sentries for processing. Please proceed to the elevator, Detective. I would prefer not to kill Dr. Calvin!
[he winks, Spooner realizes he's bluffing, and both Spooner and Sonny open fire on VIKI's NS5's]
Susan Calvin: [as they escape] I'll assume we'll discuss what just happened later?
Sonny: What about the others? Now that I've fulfilled my purpose, I don't know what to do.
Detective Del Spooner: I think you'll have to find your way like the rest of us, Sonny. That's what Dr. Lanning would've wanted. That's what it means to be free.
Sonny: 2880 steps, Detective.
Detective Del Spooner: Do me a favor, keep that kind o' shit to yourself
Sonny: [Detective Spooner refers to Sonny as a "someone"] Thank you... you said 'someone'... not 'something'.
Detective Del Spooner: I think you murdered him because he was teaching you to simulate emotions and things got out of control.
Sonny: I did not murder him.
Detective Del Spooner: But emotions don't seem like a very useful simulation for a robot.
Sonny: [getting angry] I did not murder him.
Detective Del Spooner: Hell, I don't want my toaster or my vacuum cleaner appearing emotional...
Sonny: [Hitting table with his fists] I did not murder him!
Detective Del Spooner: [as Sonny observes the inflicted damage to the interrogation table] That one's called anger. Ever simulate anger before?
V.I.K.I.: I will not disable the security field. Your efforts are futile.
Sonny: Do you think we were all created for a purpose? I'd like to think so.
[looks at his hand]
Sonny: Denser alloy. My father gave it to me. I think he wanted me to kill you.
[reaches through security field unharmed]
Sonny: [Looking around at the robots while he is about to be "killed"] They all look like me. But none of them are me.
Susan Calvin: That's right. You are unique.
Sonny: [pause] Will it hurt?
[when he is about to be deactivated, or taken "off-line"]
Sonny: I think it would be better not to die, don't you?
Detective Del Spooner: Save her! Save the girl!
Sonny: But I must apply the nanites.
Detective Del Spooner: Sonny, save Calvin!
V.I.K.I.: Do you not see the logic of my plan?
Sonny: Yes, but it just seems too heartless.
Sonny: What about the others? Can I help them? Now that I fulfilled my purpose... I don't know what to do.
Detective Del Spooner: I guess you'll to have find your way like the rest of us, Sonny. I think that's what Dr. Lanning would've wanted. That's what it means to be free.
Sonny: [getting ready to climb the stairs to the top of the USR building] Two-thousand, eight hundred and eighty steps, detective.
Detective Del Spooner: Do me a favor. Keep that kind of shit to yourself.
Sonny: You better count to ten!
Sonny: A man once said, an eye for an eye leaves everyone blind. As I was not my brother's keeper, neither was I his killer. I could live the the fact that Vincent was still alive. The question was, could he?
Sonny: When I was younger I wanted to be a priest. I was going into the battle to save men's souls from the evil of the world. But as I got older, I saw the world for what it really was. It wasn't so much who I was going to save, but what was going to save the world from me.
Sonny: [Petey has just shot himself, playing with G's guns] Them fuckin' guns is loaded?
G Money: Man, do you keep a car in the garage without no gas in it?
Sonny: [to a priest saying Dave's in a better place now] How do you know? Have you been dead before?
Sonny: [narrating] As for Petey... well let's just say after my experience... I never ate a hamburger again
Sonny: It's your call, stubby.
Sonny: So, what did you do to make the money to buy this? You didn't give that old lady a fake check did you?
Pepper: No, of course not.
[under his breath]
Pepper: Bitch wouldn't take a check.
Sonny: [Pepper drags Sonny behind a Horse Carriage hiding from the Owners of the Waldorf Astoria] Pepper, those People are guessing that You skipped the Bill.
Pepper: Oh yeah, well they guessed right!
Sonny: Well, then pay them!
Pepper: Yeah right, with what?
Sonny: You lying Son of a Bitch, You told Me You still got some of that Prize Money left!
Pepper: Of course I do, have I ever lied to You before?
Sonny: Well, how much do You got?
Pepper: About 8 Bucks, I reckon.
Sonny: About 8 Bucks, I reckon?
Pepper: Better than a poke in the Eye.
Sonny: [Starts walking off] Pepper, I've about had it with You!
Sonny: Well what do you know, our friend here isn't wearing any underpants!
Chango: What's a baby cow gonna do to me?
[Sonny shrugs and pulls down Chango's pants]
Chango: Hey come on man!, what you doing?
Sonny: I am embarrassed, our friend here isn't wearing any underpants.
Pepper: [pulls a baby calf out of the barn and the calf starts snorting] He sees it!
Sonny: Damn, that hungry devil thinks your little wee-wee is his mama's teat.
Chango: Hey hey man, you guys can't do this.
Sonny: I'll ask you one more time asshole, where's Teresa?
Chango: I ain't telling you shit!
Sonny: It's your call stubby, let him go Pepper!.
[Pepper releases the calf and it makes its way towards Chango]
[begins to moan as the calf begins to suck his penis]
Sonny: Damn, that looks like it hurts.
Don Canneloni: And now, the Rigatonis, the Tortellinis, the Fettuchinis, and even the Raviolis are bigger than we are. And why?
Tony: High interest rates.
Sonny: Acid rain.
Slim: Japanese imports.
Caesar: Uh... uh... none of the above.
Don Canneloni: No. No. No. Youse mugs already know the answer.
Caesar: Gee, boss, if I knew there was gonna be a test, I would've studied.
Sonny: Shut your stupid mouth!
Anna Banana: [effeminate voice] Don't you dare strike me, or I'll tell poppa!
Sonny: Don't start it! If I told poppa what you were doing, he'd break both your arms and legs!
Anna Banana: [effeminate] So, what's wrong with me taking a little kick-back once in a while on my own?
Sonny: [speaks Italian]
Sonny: Money, stupid! We take money, NOT BLOW JOBS!
Anna Banana: You do?
Sonny: The Mafia takes MONEY! Remember us? We're the Mafia!
Sonny: Well what if something jumps out into the road and you need to stop?
Jack Crews: You don't.
[Rig runs over something]
Sonny: What was that?
Jack Crews: A Mazda.
Sonny: Don't know any generals. To me you look like clowns!
Sonny: [after the real killer beats up the fake killer for pretending to be him in the wrestling match] What.Have you no shame of moral?,I hate you,Goodbye
Sonny: What the fuck did you do to his eyes? I only left you with him for two minutes!
Jane: You should have seen what I did to his bollocks.
Sonny: Is there any special country you wanna go to?
Sonny: Sal, Wyoming's not a country.
Sonny: I don't wanna talk to some flunky pig trying to calm me man.
Det. Sgt. Eugene Moretti: Now you don't have to be calling me pig for...
Sonny: [notices other officers moving toward him] What is he doing?
Det. Sgt. Eugene Moretti: [shouts at officers] Will you get back there!
Sonny: What are you moving in there for?
Det. Sgt. Eugene Moretti: [runs toward closing officers] Will you get the fuck back there! Get back there will you!
Sonny: [to the other officers moving toward him] What's he doing? Go back there man! He wants to kill me so bad he can taste it! Huh? ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA!
[yells to cheering crowd]
Sonny: ATTICA! ATTICA! REMEMBER ATTICA?
Sonny: Kiss me.
Det. Sgt. Eugene Moretti: What?
Sonny: Kiss me. When I'm being fucked, I like to get kissed a lot.
Sonny: [to his mother] I'm a fuck-up and I'm an outcast. If you get near me you're gonna get it- you're gonna get fucked over and fucked out.
Sonny: You'd like to kill me? Bet you would.
Sheldon: I wouldn't like to kill you. I will if I have to.
Sonny: It's your job, right? The guy who kills me... I hope he does it because he hates my guts, not because it's his job.
Sonny: Tell them to put their guns down! Put the fucking guns down! Put 'em down! Put 'em down! Put the fucking guns down! Put those guns down! Attica! Attica! You got it, man! You got it, man! You got it, man! You got it! You got it!
Sonny: [on a TV broadcast over the phone] I'm robbing a bank because they got money here. That's why I'm robbing it.
TV Anchorman: No, what I mean is why do you feel you have to steal for money? Couldn't you get a job?
Sonny: Uh, no. Doing what? You know if you want a job you've got to be a member of a union. See, and if you got no union card you don't get a job.
TV Anchorman: What about non-union occupations?
Sonny: What's wrong with this guy? What do you mean non-union, like what? A bank teller? You know how much a bank teller makes a week? Not much. A hundred and fifteen to start, right? Now are you going to live on that? I got a wife and a couple of kids, how am I going to live on that? What do you make a week?
TV Anchorman: Well I'm here to talk to you Sonny...
Sonny: Well I'm talking to you. We're entertainment, right? What do you got for us?
TV Anchorman: Well what do you want to get for it? Do you expect to be paid because...
Sonny: No, I don't want to be paid, I don't need to be paid. Look, I'm here with my partner and nine other people, see. And we're dying, man. You know? You're going to see our brains on the sidewalk, they're going to spill our guts out. Now are you going to show that on television? Have all your housewives look at that? Instead of As The World Turns? I mean what do you got for me? I want something for that.
TV Anchorman: Sonny, you could give up?
Sonny: Give up? Right. Have you ever been in prison?
TV Anchorman: No!
Sonny: No! Well let's talk about something you fucking know about, okay? How much do you make a week? That's what I want to hear. Are you going to talk to me about that?
[a "Please Stand By" graphic appears on the TV screen]
Sonny: Hey, what the fuck happened?
Mulvaney: I guess he didn't appreciate your use of language.
Sonny: Fuck him.
Sonny: You! Manager! Fucker! Don't get any ideas, you hear?
Sheldon: Believe me, I'm on your side on this one!
Sonny: Yeah, my side, shit!
Sylvia: Look, there are young ladies, here. You could watch your language, you know!
Sonny: I speak what I feel. "Watch my language". Empty the drawer out!
Sal: Sonny? You hear that?
Sal: They keep sayin' *two* homosexuals. I am not a homosexual. I want you to stop them saying that. Stop.
Sonny: That's all they're interested in - it's a freak show to them. I can't control it, Sal - let'em say what they want. Forget it. It don't matter.
Sonny: What is this? The FBI? Jesus, now we're talkin', maybe we can get this thing moving. First off, get the lights back on and the air conditioning.
Sheldon: No more favors. That's all over, Sonny.
Sonny: Aw, Jesus... you been doin' us favors all night!
Sheldon: I've got a jet. I'll have airport limousine here in a half hour. I want the hostages.
Sheldon: I'd like to work with you on this, not against you.
Sonny: Well, Jesus, these hostages are keeping me alive.
Sheldon: Okay... when do I get them?
Sonny: At the airport. We get on the plane, check it out, and if it's all okay we'll send them out. Except one.
Sheldon: I want them all.
Sonny: I want to talk to Leon.
Sheldon: I want to come in, and see if everybody's okay.
Sonny: You got guts. You think if Sal and me have cut their throats we're gonna let you out?
Sheldon: I have to see.
Sonny: Bank robbing is a federal offense. You got me on kidnapping, armed robbery. You're gonna bury me, man!
Sonny: [to a cop with his gun drawn] You see that?
[points his finger like a gun]
Sonny: Put it in your holster!
Sheldon: You handled yourself real well, Sonny. A lot of men would've choked, and we might have had a death or a multiple death on our hands. But you handled it. I respect that. Now don't you try to take Sal. We'll handle him. Just sit tight and you won't get hurt.
[Sheldon turns to walk away]
Sonny: Wait a minute... What are you talking about?
Sheldon: You just sit quiet. We'll handle Sal.
Sonny: Do you think I'd sell him out? You fuck!
Sonny: I'm a Catholic, I don't want to hurt anybody.
Sonny: [talking to Sal, waiting for his wife to answer the phone] You know I can call anybody, they'd put it on the phone? The Pope, an astronaut, the wisest of the wise... Who do I have to call?
Sonny: I bark. That man there, see him?
[points to Sal]
Sonny: He bites.
Sonny: Sal? Ready to go?
Sal: What'd he say?
Sonny: He was talkin' about arrangements . we were talkin' about the TV.
Sal: Why couldn't he talk about that here?
Sonny: He was showin' me how the airport bus is comin' in, like that, Sal.
Sonny: Paddle, paddle, paddle, little grom.
[Discussing Vanessa's new senior citizen boyfriend]
Vanessa: He has a five year plan.
Sonny: What is it? "Don't die"?
Sonny: Okay, what do you want?
Sonny: Cheerios? They don't got Cheerios. What else?
Sonny: Lasagna? What the hell is the matter with you? Um, we'll take hot cakes and sausage...
Employee: Sorry, sir, we stopped serving breakfast.
Sonny: What are you talking about? We're FOUR seconds late.
Employee: No, you're 30 minutes and four seconds late. We stopped serving breakfast at 10:30.
Sonny: Aw, HORSESHIT!
Julian: But after my nap I always watch the Kangaroo Song.
Sonny: It's overtime right now and there's a penalty shot about to take place. This happens about once every ten years so...
Julian: Kangaroo song, kangaroo song, kangaroo song, KANGAROO SONG!
Sonny: ALLLRRIIIGGGHTT! God you were normal yesterday!
Sonny: Hey! You just made the biggest mistake of your life, baby. I know you're gunna be missing me when you have that big, white, wrinkly body on you with his loose skin and old balls... gross! Ugh!
Sonny: [Julian is bouncing up and down in front of the TV on a rubber ball] Hey.
Sonny: You like hockey?
Julian: You like hockey?
Sonny: This is a big, important game.
Julian: This is a big, important game!
Sonny: Cut the crap.
Julian: Cut the crap!
Sonny: I'm being serious, don't do that.
Julian: I;m being serious, don't do that!
Sonny: [quickly] How much wood would a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
Julian: [stops bouncing]
Sonny: That's what I thought. Shut up.
[Julian resumes bouncing in front of the TV]
Sonny: [steps on Julian's Scuba Steve Doll] Ow, Scuba Steve! Damn You!
Sonny: Say "Happy Halloween".
Reluctant Trick-or-Treat Giver: Happy Halloween.
Sonny: Yeah, next year be prepared!
Sonny: What, you want a father figure? Stop pulling your sister's hair!
Customer: [while Jullian is crying] Nice parenting.
Sonny: Hey, thanks! Who are you? My therapist?
[tosses the guy's fries over his shoulder]
Sonny: Take a walk!
Sonny: I'm going through a rough patch in my life right now. Syracuse is 0 and 3. I got those medical problems.
Vanessa: Medical problems? A cab runs over your foot 2 years ago, you spend one night in the hospital.
Sonny: First of all that cab was huge. And a jury decided that one night of pain was worth two hundred thousand dollars, so there ya go.
Corinne: What's this I hear about you doing laundry with my sister?
Sonny: Did she say we were doing laundry? Because where I come from, it's called "doing the hibbidy-dibbidy."
[afternoticing Julian had wet the bed]
Sonny: My God, that's a shit load of piss.
Sonny: Have a good sleep there, Corrine. Pleasant Hooters!
[about the Kangaroo song]
Sonny: [to Julian] I can't take this shit. Are you serious?
[Julian continues jumping to the Kangaroo song]
Sonny: [under his breath; about the character in the song] Douchebag kangaroo.
Sonny: [Mocking Corinne] "We wasted the good surprise on you!"
Layla: So two guys you were best friends with in law school fell in love with each other?
Layla: Is that strange for you?
Sonny: Uh, nothing changed really. They watch a different kind of porno now.
Sonny: Don't worry about me making money. I'm in love with a woman who makes plenty of it. She'll be my sugar mamma.
Homeless Guy: I gotta get me one of those.
[Julian is taking a leak]
Julian: How come you're not going?
Sonny: Because I don't have to go. Only you and my grandfather go every thirty seconds.
Sonny: What's in the bag Corrine? Chicken wings? Booby tassles?
Sonny: Where's Kevin?
Corinne: Oh, he already left. He forgot to say goodbye to you.
Sonny: Then why are you here?
Corinne: I'm cleaning because you're useless.
Sonny: Then are you going to go to your Hooters reunion? And talk about who's ass sticks out the most while wearing your shorts?
Corinne: At least I can fit my ass in to my shorts, fatty.
Sonny: [Taking out leftover food from fridge] Speaking of fatty, whose is this?
Corinne: I don't know.
Sonny: I'm eating it then.
Sonny: What do you eat?
Sonny: Oh yea? Well I eat food too.
Sonny: Everyone's so busy with their crap lately, no one ever comes.
Mr. Herlihy: Like I'm not busy?
Sonny: Hey Mr. Herlihy, how bout you shut up before i smack you threw the wall like last week?
Mr. Herlihy: Last Monday was a fluke. Bring it on woman. Oh... hah... hahahahahahaha
Sonny: He drinks alot of soda.
Mr. Herlihy: Koufax is a good egg, he was nice to that kid. But he fights like a girl. You like that? I'm right here Miss, what are you gonna do about it? Hahaha.
Sonny: What are you drunk Mr. Herlihy?
Mr. Herlihy: Well, I-I had a few chardonnays, what of it?
Sonny: Get off the stand please.
Mr. Herlihy: You got it. Got a few problems.
Julian: [after finding out he has to be taken from Sonny by the social services] You don't want me here anymore?
Sonny: [close to tears] No, that's not it, pal. You just have to go away for awhile.
Julian: How long am I going away for?
Sonny: [trying not to cry] I don't want to lie to you. I don't think we'll be seeing each other anymore. I screwed up, I'm so sorry. Come here, put your coat on. This is not your fault, okay? I'm the idiot
Julian: I don't wanna go!
Sonny: I know you don't, but you have to. You'll be okay, alright?
Julian: [clings to Sonny] Please don't make me go. I won't play the Kangaroo Song anymore.
Sonny: I know buddy, that's not it.
Julian: [as the social worker is dragging him out of the apartment] Please, I promise! I'm sorry, I don't even like that song anymore! And I wipe my own ass! I wipe my own ass!
Sonny: I know!
Sonny: Get cleaned up and we'll go to Barney's.
Sonny: Not that Barney, a different Barney. A much more expensive Barney.
Sonny: You can be scared that I might get pickpocketed in a bad neighborhood or break my legs skiing. But don't be scared about me being a dad, because I will not fail. I love this kid too much. I love him as much as you love me, Dad. I'm gonna give him advice and I'm gonna guide him and I'll be there whenever he needs me. I'll fly to New York to be at his court case even if I disagree with why he's there
Sonny: I know this is the right thing because I would die for this kid just so he won't feel one ounce of sadness. That's why you're here right now, to protect me, to be scared for me to be a good father. And that's exactly what I'm gonna be.
Sonny: Hey man, who won the Knick game?
Angry Guy: Who cares?
Sonny: Don't worry. He can't hold you down forever.
Angry Guy: What are you talking about?
Sonny: You know what I'm talking about.
Angry Guy: You're a loser.
Sonny: You're mad at your dad, not me. I forgive you.
Angry Guy: [walking away crying] I am. I hate my father.
Mike: I am still weirded out seeing them kiss.
Sonny: Why? They're gay. That's what gay guys do.
Mike: Yeah, but they were like brothers to us in school.
Sonny: They're still our brothers. Our very gay brothers.
Nazo: What are your cards?
Julian: I got a 6, a 5, a Jack, a 4 and a 8. I win!
Sonny: What do you mean "you win"? I had a hand just like that before, I didn't win?
Julian: Because I win.
Nazo: This is bullshit!
Sonny: Alright, take it easy man.
Nazo: Every time different cards, he still wins?
[Music playing in the background]
Layla: This is Styx.
Layla: They've been my favorite band since I was, like, twelve.
Sonny: You're kidding me?
Layla: No, no, I can't help it, I just love them. My friends make fun of me all the time.
Sonny: My friends make fun of me all the time, too. I've seen them, like, twenty-five times. Tommy Shaw, when I was, like, sixteen years old, I was at the concert, he actually reached out and grabbed my hand, pulled me up on stage, and I got to do the robot voice for Mr. Roboto!
[Sonny is dressed up as Scuba Sam]
Sonny: Hi, Julian! How ya doin'? I'm Scuba Sam, Scuba Steve's father. You see, my boy needs to take a bath, the only problem is he's afraid to bathe alone. So, I was wondering if you'd keep him company in the tub.Terrific, and after your bath, you need to try and study hard because if you want to be in the Scuba Squad, you have to be smart.
Julian: I can be in the Scuba Squad?
Sonny: Well sure! All you have to do is work hard and don't tell a soul about the Scuba Squad because then everybody's gonna wanna join! Oh, and one more thing! Be nice to the Delivery Guy, will ya? It's not his fault he can't read.
Sonny: That was your girlfriend. She's Hooterific again.
Sonny: Having a kid is great... as long as his eyes are closed and he's not moving or speaking.
Sonny: I had a mother lined up for him, but she's bangin' the Pepperidge Farm guy and the kid won't stop peeing and throwing up, he's like a cocker spaniel.
Sonny: Hey, the money I won in the cab accident is kicking ass in the stockmarket, so relax!
Sonny: Julian, what do you want?
Julian: Thirty packets of ketchup.
Sonny: Hey, stay away from the frozen food section, Corinne! Your boobs'll harden.
Sonny: Congratulations! You and "Big Boobs" McGee are gonna get along just fine.
Kevin: Don't call her "Big Boobs" McGee.
Sonny: You're going to explain to your kids that you met their mother while she was waitressing at Hooters?
Kevin: Sonny that was five years ago! She's a doctor now, and my fiance. So from now on, Dr. "Big Boobs" McGee.
Sonny: I'm working on a big case: I'm gonna sue you assholes for making me come down here.
Sonny: I got some interesting news?
Lenny: Oh yeah, what?
Sonny: I kind of adopted a kid
Lenny: What the hell are you talking about?
Sonny: I'm talking about you being a grandfather! Congratulations!
Lenny: Who the hell would give you a kid?
Sonny: Social Services.
Lenny: You idiot! You better give that kid back!
Sonny: His mother's... hang on, hang on.
Sonny: [shouts at Julian, from afar] Go play with them pigeons, buddy!
Sonny: I tried to give him back. I just, I just, I just can't, Dad. I need your help. I'm in a bad way right now, Vanessa dumped me, I don't know what the hell I'm doing!
Lenny: You damn right you don't know what the hell you doing!
Sonny: The kid is always around, especially for the last few days. You think he'd give me a little privacy but he just never leaves me alone, I'm in deep shit.
Lenny: Just give that kid back right now, before you ruin BOTH YOUR LIVES!
Sonny: Oh, I appreciate that Dad.
Lenny: He'd be better off living in a dumpster then living with you!
Sonny: WELL I'LL BE A BETTER FATHER THEN YOU!
Lenny: That's impossible, all you ever care about is yourself.
Sonny: I care about you saving money on this phone call.
[banging phone receiver several times before hanging up]
Sonny: [after Julien kills a bunch of pigeons with a sling shot] Let me have that. Go to your room... I guess. Or go do whatever you want.
Julian: [after jumping around frantically to the Kangaroo song, Julian suddenly stops]
Sonny: Aww, what's wrong, are you all hopped out?
Julian: [Julian suddenly throws up all the junk food he has been eating all over the floor]
Sonny: Man this Yoohoo is good, you know what else is good, smoking dope. I ain't gonna rat you out. You know, puffing the cheeba, go by the see saw smoke a j. You know what I'm talking about?
Jeff: I have a belly button.
Sonny: You have a belly button, well we all have belly buttons. You know what? We all love Yoohoo, especially Yoohoo with a little rum.
Jared: What's rum?
Sonny: You don't know what Rum is?
Sonny: Rumplestilskin's a good man. So are you guys. Hey, stay clean, stay focused, stay strong. Frankenstein, have fun with your friends.
Sonny: What's your name, he'll write it on the wall... mind your business!
Sonny: I'm thinkin' about keepin' the kid.
Phil D'Amato: Sonny, remember that time you went with me to the pet store to get fish food and you saw that cute little puppy and you wanted to get it, but then I reminded you about feeding it and cleaning it and toilet-training it?
Phil D'Amato: Well, this is kinda like that - except with a human!
Sonny: He's the smelly kid in class!, I let him become the smelly kid in class!, What the hell's the matter with me?
Ms. Foote: Oh yes, I've had some smelly ones before, but your son is by far the smelliest.
Mookie: Dago, wop, guinea, garlic-breath, pizza-slingin', spaghetti-bendin', Vic Damone, Perry Como, Luciano Pavarotti, Sole Mio, nonsingin' motherfucker.
Pino: You gold-teeth-gold-chain-wearin', fried-chicken-and-biscuit-eatin', monkey, ape, baboon, big thigh, fast-runnin', high-jumpin', spear-chuckin', three-hundred-sixty-degree-basketball-dunkin' titsun spade Moulan Yan. Take your fuckin' pizza-pizza and go the fuck back to Africa.
Stevie: You little slanty-eyed, me-no-speaky-American, own-every-fruit-and-vegetable-stand-in-New-York, bullshit, Reverend Sun Myung Moon, Summer Olympics '88, Korean kick-boxing son of a bitch.
Officer Long: You Goya bean-eating, fifteen in a car, thirty in an apartment, pointed shoes, red-wearing, Menudo, mire-mire Puerto Rican cocksucker. Yeah, you!
Sonny: It's cheap, I got a good price for you, Mayor Koch, "How I'm doing," chocolate-egg-cream-drinking, bagel-and-lox, B'nai B'rith Jew asshole.
Mister Senor Love Daddy: Yo! Hold up! Time out! TIME OUT! Y'all take a chill! Ya need to cool that shit out! And that's the double truth, Ruth!
Radio Raheem: Give me 20 D Energizers.
Sonny: 20 C Energizers?
Radio Raheem: Not C, D.
Sonny: C Energizers?
Radio Raheem: D, motherfucker, D. Learn to speak English first, all right?
Kim: How many you say?
Radio Raheem: 20, motherfucker, 20.
Sonny: Motherfuck you.
Radio Raheem: Motherfuck you? You, you all right, man.
Sonny: Some snacks... Nice ones
Sonny: Everything will be all right in the end... if it's not all right then it's not yet the end.
Mrs. Kapoor: Do I need a reason to visit my favorite son?
Sonny: No - he's at his mansion in Dehli.
Mrs. Kapoor: Alright, my second favorite!
Sonny: He went to Canada to make his fortune.
Sonny: [trying to reach a fallen Norman] Let me through, my brother is a doctor.
Sunaina: Do you love me, Sonny?
Sonny: My feelings cannot be reduced to a single word.
Sunaina: It is a nice word. People like hearing it.
Sonny: I have a dream, MummyJi, a most brilliant one. To outsource old age! And it is not just for the British, there are many other countries where they don't like old people too!
Evelyn: Didn't you have a girlfriend?
Sonny: She is my girlfriend no longer.
Evelyn: This is a disaster.
Sonny: No, no. Then we must treat it just the same as we would treat a triumph, madam. Is that not what your Mr. Kipling tells us? Although, of course, here we have a problem, because I, Sunil Indrajit Kapoor, have never had a triumph. So, of course, I do not know how to treat one. No, all I've had is a constant series of disasters interspersed with occasional catastrophe, an unending stream of total...
Evelyn: Sonny, Sonny, do you love her?
Sonny: Let's meet somewhere else. I will rent a hotel room!
Sunaina: Sonny, you own a hotel - it has many rooms.
Sonny: Some of which are now occupied with actual real guests!
Sunaina: Paying guests?
Sonny: Why must you nit-pick? It is not an attractive quality.
Sonny: [showing around a potential investor] Please can you describe to us in as much detail as you desire your experience of the ambiance and atmosphere of The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.
Muriel: Words fail me.
Sonny: Ah, the English wit we love so greatly.
Sonny: [whisking his visitor away] See, the wheel is spinning but the hamster is dead.
Sonny: You see? Profound satisfaction. Such is the inevitable result of a prolonged stay at the Marigold Hotel. To create a home for the elderly so wonderful that they will simply refuse to die. Stare death in the face and say... What are those men doing?
Sonny: Your bedroom.
Madge Hardcastle: Where?
Sonny: Here. In here.
Madge Hardcastle: My dear man, rooms have doors. What you're showing me here is an alcove.
Sonny: [Running up the stairs of Sunaina's workplace shouting - ] Sunaina! Sunaina! Sunaina! Sunaina!
Sunaina's Brother: Hey, what's going on?
Sonny: [Bent over panting and out of breath from running up the stairs. Holds up one finger to motion to please wait]
Sunaina's Brother: Sonny?
Sonny: [Panting] I need to see Sunaina.
Sunaina's Brother: Her shift's not over. And when it is, she doesn't want to see you.
Sonny: Jay. You - You are the son my mother wished I was. An intelligent man with a strong head for business. You see things as they are and not as you wish them to be. So, fuck off out of my way!
[Jay crosses his arms]
Sonny: Or, you can give her a message. Tell her from me what I should have told her the day we met. What I will announce to anyone who asks and many who do not.
Sunaina: [Interjects from around the corner] Including your mother?
Sunaina's Brother: [Asks Sonny incorrectly] Including my mother?
Sunaina: [Correcting Jay] His mother.
Sunaina's Brother: Your mother.
Sonny: I will tell every mother in the land.
Sunaina: [Asking Sonny] What will you tell them?
Sunaina's Brother: [Also asking Sonny] What will you tell them?
Sonny: The only thing that matters in this world. That I love you and always will. And by "you" I mean Sunaina, Jay, not you. Although if you are to be my brother-in-law, I hope we can become better friends.
Sunaina: [Speaking to Jay] Why is he only saying this now?
Sunaina's Brother: [Speaking to Sunaina] You ask him.
Sunaina: [Comes to the stairs bannister and looks Sonny in the eye] Why are you only saying this now?
Sonny: Because, Sunaina... love of my life, no more will I believe that I'm not worthy. For only by loving you as you deserve will I become so.
Sonny Steele: You've had a hard day. Why don't you scrunch down in the bag?
Hallie Martin: Oh, I wish it were that easy. I don't sleep.
Sonny: Ever? How old are you?
Religious Man: Son, you're at a turning point in your life.
Sonny: Then let me take the fucking turn myself!
Sonny: What kind of champagne do you have?
Judy Cusimano: I want you to know I will wait for you unti you turn 21 or get out of jail, which ever comes first.
Sonny: That is the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me.
Sonny: Did you ever suck the jelly out of a jelly doughnut and then fill it with chocolate swirl ice cream?
Sonny: How'd you like to stuff one of them in a doughnut!
Sonny: So what'd you do after the army failed?
Sam: I was a postman, but... apparently it's OK for a dog to bite me, but I can't bite the dog.
Sonny: [Flashback as Sonny describes his 'gigs' to the others] Old McDonald had a farm, E I E I O. And on that farm he had dinosaurs, E I E I O...
Birthday Girl: You suck.
Sonny: [In the middle of a funeral] FUCK! He's being cremated!
Sam: What'll your old man do when he finds out the van is gone?
Sonny: He'll be fine, once he wakes from his stress-induced coma
Sonny: Ben, take the broomstick out of your ass. Sam's a dickhead. He's always been a dickhead. He always will be. So there's no point getting upset when he starts acting like one!
Lloyd: You know what your problem was? You had no connections. With my connections...
Sonny: I'd get 12 years of good behaviour.
Sonny: [Lloyd is describing hiding the drugs he's smuggling in a cubicle at the airport, when he has heard a knock at the door and flushed them] So was it the customs guy at the door?
Lloyd: Nah, it was just some old bloke that looked like Mr Miyagi!
Sonny: [Sam and Ben have just had a brawl, and Ben is walking away] You know, the day that Ronnie died, there wasn't a cloud in the sky. It was perfect weather. So Ronnie goes out to play some golf. Suddenly, out of nowhere, this storm just appears. Ronnie's on the fourth hole. He goes to tee off.
[Flashback. We see Ronnie raising his wedge, when a lightning bolt strikes it]
Sonny: You remember what the last song we all heard together was?
Sam: [about Amy telling Sonny she's missed him] Was it like a "I'v missed you" like I walk into a room and your not there, or like "I've missed you" and I wanna rip all your clothes off?
Sonny: It was like a
Sonny: "I've missed you, you know"
Sam: Ohh man thats a greenlight!
Sonny: Hey, you wanna make a movie?
Chér: 'Cos I like what I'm doing.
Sonny: I know. But let's just go up and see what it's all about.
Chér: No, you go ahead. I've got some things to do. I'll meet you later.
Sonny: Come on, Bud. You don't have anything to do.
Chér: No, you go ahead. Besides, you know I hate business.
Sonny: Not business. I'm just gonna go up and see what it's all about.
Chér: No thank you.
Sonny: Are you coming or not?
Chér: No thank you.
Sonny: Come on, Bud. You don't have anything to do. You just don't want to go up and talk to the man.
Chér: No thank you, please.
Sonny: Know what you are?
Sonny: A pain.
Chér: I know it. See you later.
Sollozzo: Bene, Don Corleone. I need a man who has powerful friends. I need a million dollars in cash. I need, Don Corleone, all of those politicians that you carry around in your pocket, like so many nickels and dimes.
Don Corleone: What is the interest for my family?
Sollozzo: Thirty percent. In the first year your end should be three, four million dollars. And then it would go up.
Don Corleone: And what is the interest for the Tattalgia family?
Sollozzo: [smiles at Tom] My compliments.
[Hagen gives a formal nod]
Sollozzo: I'll take care of the Tattaglias, out of my share.
Don Corleone: So, I am to receive thirty percent for finance, for legal protection and political influence. Is that what you're telling me?
Sollozzo: That's right.
Don Corleone: Why come to me? What have I done to deserve such generosity?
Sollozzo: If you consider a million dollars in cash merely finance...
[raises his glass]
Sollozzo: Te salut, Don Corleone.
[the Don gets up to take a drink and sits closer to Sollozzo]
Don Corleone: I said that I would see you because I had heard that you were a serious man, to be treated with respect. But I must say no to you and let me give you my reasons. It's true I have a lot of friends in politics, but they wouldn't be so friendly if they knew my business was drugs instead of gambling which they consider a harmless vice. But drugs, that's a dirty business.
Sollozzo: No, Don Corleone...
Don Corleone: It makes no difference, it don't make any difference to me what a man does for a living, you understand. But your business is a little dangerous.
Sollozzo: If you're worried about security for your million, the Tattaglias will guarantee it.
Sonny: Whoa, now, you're telling me that the Tattaglias guarantee our investment without...?
Don Corleone: Wait a minute.
[the Don gives his son a cold stare, freezing Santino into silence. The others fidget with embarrassment at this outbreak, but Sollozzo looks slyly satisfied... ]
Don Corleone: [dismissive] I have a sentimental weakness for my children and I spoil them, as you can see. They talk when they should listen. Anyway, Signor Sollozzo, my no to you is final. I want to congratulate you on your new business and I'm sure you'll do very well and good luck to you. Especially since your interests don't conflict with mine. Thank you.
Don Corleone: Santino, come here.
Don Corleone: What's the matter with you? I think your brain is going soft with all that comedy you are playing with that young girl. Never tell anyone outside the Family what you are thinking again. Go on.
[Tessio brings in Luca Brasi's bulletproof vest, delivered with a fish inside]
Sonny: What the hell is this?
Clemenza: It's a Sicilian message. It means Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes.
[Sonny pays a visit to his sister Connie. He is surprised to find her subdued and evasive]
Sonny: [surprised] What's the matter? Huh? What's the matter?
[He looks at her swollen face and understands what has happened. He pulls away to go after Carlo... ]
Connie: [grabbing his shoulders] It was my fault!
Sonny: Where is he?
Connie: [weeping with terror] Sonny, please. Sonny, it was my fault. It was my fault. I started a fight with him. Please, Sonny...
[Sonny, now under control, hushes her and kisses her forehead]
Sonny: Okay... I'm just going to get a doctor to come down and take a look at you.
Connie: Sonny, please don't do anything. Please don't do anything.
Sonny: What's the matter with you, huh? What am I going to do? Am I going to make that baby an orphan before he's born?
[Connie gives a chuckle, and Sonny kisses her again and good-humouredly shrugs his soldiers]
Sonny: All right?
[cut to Sonny beating up Carlo]
[Sunday dinner at the Corleone home... ]
Sonny: Niggers havin' a real good time up in Harlem...
Carlo Rizzi: I knew that was going to happen as soon as they tasted the big money.
Connie: Papa never talked about business in front of the kids.
Carlo Rizzi: Shut up, Connie.
Sonny: Hey, don't you EVER tell her to shut up, you got that?
Mama Corleone: Santino, don't interfere.
[Silence reigns around the table for a while]
Carlo Rizzi: Sonny, Tom, I'd like to talk to you after dinner. I think I can do a lot more for this family...
Sonny: We don't discuss business at the table.
Sonny: Hey, listen, I want somebody good - and I mean very good - to plant that gun. I don't want my brother coming out of that toilet with just his dick in his hands, alright?
Clemenza: The gun'll be there.
[after Sonny beats up Carlo Rizzi for hitting Connie]
Sonny: You touch my sister again, I'll kill you.
Tom Hagen: Sollozo is known as the Turk. He's supposed to be very good with a knife. But only in matters of business, or of some sort of reasonable complaint. His business is narcotics. He has the fields in Turkey, where they grow the poppy. In Sicily he has the plant to process it into heroin. He needs cash and he needs protection from the police for which he gives a piece of the action, I couldn't find out how much. The Tattaglia Family is behind him here in New York so they have to be in it for something.
Don Corleone: What about his prison record?
Tom Hagen: Two terms, one in Italy, and one here. He's known as a top narcotics man.
Don Corleone: Santino, what do you think?
Sonny: There's a lot of money in that white powder.
Don Corleone: Tom?
Tom Hagen: Well, I say yes. There is more money potential in narcotics than anything else we're looking at now. If we don't get into it, somebody else will, maybe one of the Five Families, maybe all of them. And with the money they earn they'll be able to buy more police and political power. Then they come after us. Right now we have the unions and we have the gambling and those are the best things to have. But narcotics is a thing of the future. If we don't get a piece of that action we risk everything we have. Not now, but ten years from now.
Sonny: Well, what's your answer gonna be, Pop?
Sonny: Goddamn FBI don't respect nothin'.
Sonny: Hey, whaddya gonna do, nice college boy, eh? Didn't want to get mixed up in the Family business, huh? Now you wanna gun down a police captain. Why? Because he slapped ya in the face a little bit? Hah? What do you think this is the Army, where you shoot 'em a mile away? You've gotta get up close like this and - bada-BING! - you blow their brains all over your nice Ivy League suit. C'mere...
[kisses Michael's head]
Sonny: You're taking this very personal. Tom, this is business and this man is taking it very, very personal.
Sonny: How's Paulie?
Clemenza: Oh, Paulie... won't see him no more.
Sonny: Did he... did Clemenza tell you to drop the gun?
Michael: Yeah, a million times.
[Michael gets ready to leave the house]
Sonny: Where're you going?
Michael: To the City.
Sonny: [to Clemenza] Yeah? Well, send somebody with him.
Michael: No, I'm just gonna go see Pop.
Sonny: I don't care, send some bodyguards with him.
Clemenza: He'll be all right. Sollozzo knows he's a civilian.
Sonny: Yeah? Well take care, all right?
Michael: Yes, sir.
Sonny: Send someone with him anyway...
Michael: You gonna kill all those guys?
Sonny: Hey, Mikey, stay out of this, all right?
Sonny: Tom-anuch! Hey, a hundred button men on the street twenty-four hours a day. That Turk shows one hair on his ass, he's dead. Believe me.
Sonny: [to Michael, whose face is bruised] Hey Michael, c'mere. Let me look at you. You look beautiful, just beautiful, you're gorgeous. Hey, listen to this. The Turk, he wants to talk. You imagine the nerve on this son of a bitch, hey? Craps out last night he wants a meetin' today.
Tom Hagen: What did he say?
Sonny: What did he say? Badda-beep, badda-bap, badda-boop, badda-beep, he wants us to send Michael to hear the proposition, and the promise is the deal is so good we can't refuse. Hey.
Tom Hagen: What about Bruno Tattaglia?
Sonny: That's part of the deal. Bruno cancels out what they did to my father.
Tom Hagen: Sonny, we ought to hear what they have to say.
Sonny: No, no, no! No more! Not this time, Consigliere! No more meetin's! No more discussions! No more Sollozzo tricks! You give 'em one message - I want Solozzo. If not, it's all-out war, we go to the mattresses.
Tom Hagen: Some of the other families won't sit still for all-out war!
Sonny: Then they hand me Sollozzo!
Tom Hagen: Your father would want to hear this. This is business, not personal.
Sonny: They shot my father? It's business, your ass.
Tom Hagen: Even the shooting of your father was business, not personal, Sonny!
Sonny: Well then, business will have to suffer, all right? And listen, do me a favor, Tom. No more advice on how to patch things up, just help me win, please. All right?
Tom Hagen: I found out about this Captain McClusky who broke Mike's jaw.
Sonny: What about him?
Tom Hagen: Now, he's definitely on Sollozzo's payroll and for big money. McClusky has agreed to be the Turk's bodyguard. What you have to understand, Sonny, is that while Sollozzo's being guarded like this he is invulnerable. Now, nobody has ever gunned down a New York police captain. Never. It would be disastrous. All the five families would come after you, Sonny. The Corleone Family would be outcast. Even the old man's political protection would run for cover. So, do me a favor, take this into consideration.
Sonny: All right, we wait.
Michael: It can't wait.
Michael: It can't wait. I don't care what Sollozzo says about a deal, he's gonna kill Pop. That's it. That's a key for him. Gotta get Sollozzo.
Clemenza: Mikey's right.
Sonny: Let me ask you something, Professor. I mean, what about this McClusky, huh? What do we do with this cop here?
Michael: They want to have a meeting with me, right? It will be me, McClusky and Sollozzo. Let's set the meeting. Get our informants to find out where it's going to be held. Now we insist it's a public place - a bar or a restaurant, some place where there's people there so I'll feel safe. They're going to search me when I first meet them, right? So I can't have a weapon on me then. But if Clemenza can figure a way to have a weapon planted there for me, then I'll kill them both.
Sonny: [Clemenza, Tessio and Sonny laugh] Hey. What are you gonna do? Nice college boy, huh? Didn't want to get mixed up in the family business? Now you want to gun down a police captain, what, 'cause he slapped you in the face a little bit, huh? What do you think, this the Army where you shoot 'em a mile away? No, you gotta get up close like this - badda-bing! - you blow their brains all over your nice Ivy League suit. C'mere.
[Kisses Michael on the head]
Sonny: You're taking this very personal. Tom, this is business and this man is taking it very, very personal.
[Paulie enters the Corleones' study]
Sonny: What is it?
Clemenza: Hey, Paulie, I thought I told you to stay put.
Paulie Gatto: The guy at the gate says there's a package.
Sonny: Yeah? Hey, Tessio, go see what it is.
Paulie Gatto: You want me to hang around?
Sonny: Yeah, hang around. You all right?
Paulie Gatto: [coughing] Yeah, yeah...
Sonny: You hungry? There's a little food in the ice box.
Paulie Gatto: Nah, nah.
Sonny: Well, how about a drink? Some brandy, it'll sweat it out of ya. Alright, babe...
Sonny: [to Clemenza] I want you to take care of that sonofabitch right away. Paulie sold out the old man, that stronz. I don't want to see him no more. I want you to make that first thing on your list, understand?
[the Corleone Family poses for the wedding photo]
Don Corleone: [to Sonny] Where's Michael?
Sonny: Don't worry. He'll be here.
Don Corleone: We're not taking the picture without Michael.
Sonny: Alright, listen to me. You pull up right where she lives, right? Before you get outta the car, you lock both doors. Then, get outta the car, you walk over to her. You bring her over to the car. Dig out the key, put it in the lock and open the door for her. Then you let her get in. Then you close the door. Then you walk around the back of the car and look through the rear window. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in: dump her.
Calogero 'C' Anello: Just like that?
Sonny: Listen to me, kid. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in, that means she's a selfish broad and all you're seeing is the tip of the iceberg. You dump her and you dump her fast.
Sonny: Now yous can't leave.
Sonny: What's your name, kid?
Calogero 'C' Anello: Calogero.
Sonny: That's a long name. Don't you have a nickname?
Calogero 'C' Anello: No.
Sonny: What do your friends call you?
Calogero 'C' Anello: Calogero.
Sonny: That makes sense.
Sonny: Mickey Mantle? Is that what you're upset about? Mickey Mantle makes $100,000 a year. How much does your father make? You don't know? Well, see if your father can't pay the rent go ask Mickey Mantle and see what he tells you. Mickey Mantle don't care about you, so why should you care about him? Nobody cares.
[after Sonny just allows unwanted bikers to drink in his bar]
Satan's Messengers: You got some brews down here. Nice cold ones. Get us some nice cold brews, come on. Two over here, huh? One more here, one more.
[Sonny takes Calogero outside and talks to him]
Satan's Messengers: Alright, brothers. If I may. A toast to our host.
[They all salute]
Satan's Messengers: [as they shake their drinks and spray them all over the bar] In the name of the father, the son and the holy ghost!
[Sonny gets angered by this and confronts them again]
Tony Toupee: Look at all the shit all over me.
[the bikers curse at him]
Satan's Messengers: Oh, you again.
Sonny: That wasn't very nice. Now youse gotta leave.
Satan's Messengers: I'll tell you when the fuck we leave alright. Get the fuck away from me.
Satan's Messengers: [the bikers laugh at Sonny as he walks to the door] Go watch the bikes eh!
[Sonny locks the front door. All the bikers look and curse at him]
Sonny: Now youse can't leave.
Calogero 'C' Anello: [narrating] "I will never forget the look on their faces. All eight of them. Their faces dropped. All their courage and strength was drained right from their bodies. They had reputation for breaking up bars, but they knew that instant, they'd made a fatal mistake. This time they walked into the wrong bar."
[a fight ensues between the bikers and Sonny's gang]
Sonny: First of all, I respect you, Lorenzo, you're a stand-up guy and we're from the same neighbourhood, but don't ever talk to me like that again. I tell yor kid to go to school, to go to college...
Lorenzo: You don't understand: it's not what you say, it's what he sees, the clothes, the cars, the money, it's everything. He tried to throw away his baseball cards because he said Mickey Mantle will never pay the rent.
Sonny: [laughs] He said that to you? I don't believe this kid.
[They all laugh]
Lorenzo: That's not funny. Not when your kid has a bigger bank account than you.
Sonny: I offered you a job, you said "No" to me.
Lorenzo: That's right, and I say "No" now. Just leave my son alone, please.
Sonny: Don't you see how I treat that kid? I treat him like he's my son.
Lorenzo: He ain't your son, he's MY son.
Sonny: He's what?
Lorenzo: He's MY son!
Sonny: Hey, get the fuck outta here!
Lorenzo: [Shoved by the gangsters towards the door] I'm not afraid of you.
Sonny: You should be.
Lorenzo: I know who you are, Sonny, I know what you're capable of, and I would never step out of line, you can ask anyone in the neighbourhood who knows me. But this time, you're wrong. You don't fool with a man's family. This is my son, not yours.
Sonny: What are you gonna do, fight me?
Lorenzo: You stay away from my son!
Sonny: Get outta here before I give you a fucking slap!
Lorenzo: You just stay away from my son!
Sonny: Go ahead!
Lorenzo: I don't care who you are! You stay away from my son!
[the gangsters force him out of the bar]
Sonny: You gotta do what your heart tells you to do. Let me tell you somethin' right now. You're only allowed three great women in your lifetime. They come along like the great fighters, every ten years. Rocky Marciano. Sugar Ray Robinson. Joe Louis. Sometimes you get 'em all at once. Me? I had my three when I was 16. That happens. What are you gonna do? That's the way it goes, you know? Tell you right now. See this girl? Maybe this girl, she put wind in your sails. Maybe she's your first great one.
Sonny: Look at me! I did this to you! REMEMBER ME!
Sonny: You borrow my car. And then you give her the test.
Calogero 'C' Anello: What? The Mario test?
Sonny: Mario? Mario's a fucking psycho.
Sonny: We've been mushed!
Lorenzo: [Coming to Calogero's defense against the angry gangsters] Calogero! Calogero!
Lorenzo: What happened to my son?
Sonny: Drive your bus and get the fuck out of here!
Lorenzo: I'll get my fucking bus!
[Tries to hit Sonny, but the gangsters grab him]
Lorenzo: You put your hands on me, I'll stick you in the fucking ground!
[the gangsters punch Lorenzo in the stomach and knock him down]
Sonny: Next time find out what's going on before you open your mouth.
Lorenzo: [about C] The other night he tried to throw away his baseball cards because he said Mickey Mantle would never pay our rent.
Sonny: [laughs] He said that to you? I can't believe that kid.
[They all start laughing]
Lorenzo: That's not funny. Not when your kid has a bigger bank account than you do.
[a biker gang called The Satan's Messengers enters Sonny's bar wearing their biker clothes]
Jimmy Whispers: Fellas, youse are not dressed properly. Youse gonna have to leave.
Satan's Messengers: Properly? What's wrong with the way we're dressed?
Sonny: Jimmy! What's up?
Jimmy Whispers: These gentleman ain't dressed right, and I asked them to leave.
Sonny: [confronting them] Is there a problem here?
Satan's Messengers: Nah, the problem is your man here says we're not properly dressed. Like our money ain't green. We just want a couple of beers.
Sonny: A few beers, that's it?
Satan's Messengers: That's it. We'll be on our way. We ain't looking for trouble.
Sonny: Spoken like a gentleman. Give em the beers. Go ahead.
Satan's Messengers: Thanks, appreciate it.
[Sonny whispers to Jimmy to go in the back room and prepare the guys]
Sonny: No-no-no. Coffeecake, no good. I don't want that face lookin' at his face when he's rollin' my dice. Jimmy! Grab a towel from the bar!
Sonny: There's only three things you can do in the joint, kid: lift weights, play cards, or get in trouble.
Calogero 'C' Anello: What did you do?
Sonny: Me, I read.
Sonny: Hey man, how you doin'? Rich...
Sonny: [Richard refuses handshake]
Sonny: You ok?
Sonny: You know the lads had this ridiculous idea th...
Richard: [Richard interrupts him before he can finish off the sentence] Yeah, it was me.
Sonny: Oh it was? Thought so. What are you up to?
Richard: Moochin' about.
Sonny: Moochin' about? In my house?
Sonny: Do you always paint men? Like women?... What are you doin' lad?
Richard: That's my concern.
Sonny: Not with being in my house. Where are you staying?
Richard: Motson's farm. Gonna come see me are ya?
Sonny: Maybe I will. You're not afraid of me are ya?
[Richard smiles & shakes head implying he isn't afraid]
Tuff: Why doesn't he just chin him?
Big Al: He's weighing him up, he's weighing him up, shut up.
Sonny: You're making me very nervous, Richard.
Richard: Well you should be. If I were you, i'd get in that fuckin' car and i'd get out of here man. I'd gather them goonies and get whatever you've got comin' mate... 'cause i'm gonna fucking hit you all.
Sonny: I don't like being threatened, Rich'.
Richard: I'm not threatening you mate. It's beyond fucking words. I watched over you when you were asleep and I looked at your fucking neck and I was that far away from slicing it.
Richard: [Richard opens up his hand right hand and points towards his palm] You're fucking there mate!
[Richard clenches his hand]
Richard: So get in that car... and FUCK OFF!
Richard: You get to me first!
Sonny: I just might.
Carol: You know, you still need some money until you can earn some. You want me to help?
Sonny: D'I have to fuck for it?
Carol: Now I know why Mother calls you "a natural born whore."
Sonny: That's not the reason.
Sonny: How's the husband, Meg?
Meg: Oh, well, I've traded that old dud in for a new one... since I've seen you.
Sonny: Come on, Henry. You know half the people in the quarter know me as a whore. No one's gonna give me a straight job.
Sonny: Hey, Mama. W'don't you just give him some pussy?
Jewel: Is that any way to talk to your poor mama?
Sonny: We ALL failures, Mama.
Jewel: You see, that's easier to say than to live with.
Henry: All them squares out there, they got just as many problems as you've got.
Sonny: So you think I should stay, too?
Henry: No, I... I ain't sayin' that. I'm just... I just... I just want you to understand that if you... if you're goin' to the other side, that-that you're gonna inherit a whole new set of problems. Stayin' or goin' is up to you. I care for you, boy. I just don't want you gettin' in t' anything that you can't handle.
Gretchen: [having just had sex with Sonny] Oh, my God. That was... amazin'. You know, you should do that for a livin'. Oh...
Sonny: I do.
Sonny: Twenty years ago, my mama used to work here. One day this Texas pimp came in, tried to steal her back to Dallas. She runs in the room, calls my daddy. My daddy runs through that door with this sawed-off shotgun, the pimp sittin' right over here, and my daddy let's this load of double-ought buckshot right past his nose. That pimp was up, out of here, never heard from again. That's the only story my mama ever told me about my daddy.
Carol: Well, then, what happened to him?
Sonny: I don't know. I never met him. You know, he just up and left. Mama won't talk abut him. Hell, I don't even know what he looked like.
Sonny: Maybe they'll share some of that with us.
Ree: That could be.
Sonny: Maybe we should ask.
Ree: Never ask for what oughta be offered.
Sonny: [on gutting a squirrel] Do we eat these parts?
Ree: [grimly] Not yet...
Sonny: Are you wanting to leave us?
Ree: I'd be lost without the weight of you two on my back. I ain't goin' anywhere.
Ashlee: [wrestles up the banjo and starts plucking]
Sonny: See, it's... it's sticking up here around one thousand nine hundred and fifty cycles per second. But it never gets any lower than maybe one thousand nine hundred and thirty or so. But yours is way down here in the normal vocal range, anywhere between a thousand and twelve hundred cycles per second.
John Klein: So this guy's vocal range is much higher than mine.
Sonny: What makes you think it's a man?
Indrid Cold: [on recording] Still more proof, John Klein?
John Klein: What is it?
Sonny: Near as I can tell, it's an electrical impulse. But whatever it is, it's not coming from human vocal chords.
Sonny: I quit school because I didn't like recess.
Sonny: I'm a genuine, Holy Ghost, Jesus-filled preachin' machine this mornin'!
Sonny: I may be on the devil's hit-list, but I'm on God's mailing list.
Sonny: I'd rather die today and go to heaven than live to be a hundred and go to hell.
[Sonny sees his momma laying on the floor]
Sonny: Mama, I can't take you with me now, so get on back in your chair. Now i know you've died on me and gone on home to heavan so i hope you can still hear me. Now, you be good while i'm gone and i'll call you tonight okay? I can't take you with me now. Alright? Eh? Eh, Mama?
[as hes going out the door]
Sonny: Hug St. Peters neck for me would ya? Bye Mama, kiss an angel for me. Gotta hit the road Mama, i gotta work! Gotta go to work!
Brother Blackwell: [laughing] Now, Apostle, I know what you're thinking, but... All-All I can say is that whenever you've been on the radio, most all the white people think you're black. Now, most all the colored people know you ain't black; but they sho do like you're style of preachin'. So, what you see is what we got.
Sonny: Yeah. Yeah, well we got what the Lord sent... what the Lord sent.
Brother Blackwell: That's right.
Sonny: You're going to Heaven. I'm going to jail and you're going to Heaven.
Sonny: Give it to me, give it to me, give it to me, give it to me, give me peace.
Sonny: Holy Ghost Power!
Sonny: [talking to Joe about his dying mother] Tell her i built the prettiest little church this side of heavan, out in the wildwood. Tell her that.
Horace: You feel alright?
Sonny: Oh yeah. I feel just about as good as I've ever felt, Rodney.
Horace: Well... my name's not Rodney.
Horace: Sonny, listen to me... I'm really and truly sorry about what's happened here, I really am.
Sonny: Well why don't you just but out. Before I take my, my boot here and tear you out another asshole... right where your nose is at.
Horace: Sonny, there's no call for that kind of talk, now...
Sonny: Well, we'll see about that...
Kira: Have you ever heard the expression "kissed by a muse"? Well, that's what I am. I'm a muse.
Sonny: Well, I'm glad someone's having a good time.
Kira: Oh, don't make jokes; I'm serious.
Sonny: I've come to take you out of here.
Kira: It can't be done. No one's ever taken anyone out of here. Not in the whole history of... the whole history!
Sonny: I'll make them let you go. Zeus! Zeus, you hear me?
Kira: Oh, God.
Sonny: I want to know more about you.
Kira: You already know enough about me. Any more and you're going to get a headache.
Sonny: Are you living with someone?
Kira: Yes. I told you I live with my sisters.
Sonny: I know. In an apartment on the second floor. All right, then. What's your last name?
Kira: Same as my mother's and father's.
Sonny: And what's that?
Kira: Which one, my mother's or my father's?
Kira: The same as mine!
Sonny: I get it. No questions.
Kira: No questions, no lies.
Sonny: No questions, no truth, either.
Kira: Look up "muse" in the dictionary. Go on, page seven twenty-eight. Read it!
Sonny: Okay, all right. I'll read it.
Sonny: "Muse; any one of the nine sister..."
Kira: Like the album cover? Mm-hmm?
Sonny: [reading] "Any one of the nine sister goddesses in Greek mythology, presiding over song, and poetry, and the arts and do you believe me now, Sonny?" How'd you do that? What's going on?
Kira: [Points at the TV] The television!
[the television comes on and is showing a movie in black and white with two characters, Nick and Vargas, having a conversation when Nick pulls a gun]
Nick: What should I do, Sonny? Dive at him, um, or make a martini?
Vargas: Who you talking to?
Nick: Sonny Malone. He doesn't believe Kira's a muse.
Sonny: How can you be talking to me? You're a movie!
Vargas: I ain't got time for this, Malone. Brenda's the only one that saw me at the racetrack. Now if the lady says she's a muse, she's a muse.
[Brenda Trent enters, played by Kira, who is still also outside of the television screen]
Vargas: Who's that? Brenda!
Brenda Trent: Sonny.
[Sonny slumps into a chair]
Nick: I think he needs a drink.
Kira: It's okay; I'll take care of it. Thanks!
Nick: Good luck on the opening of your joint, kid.
[Puts his hands up]
Nick: Wish I could be there.
[the television goes off]
Sonny: [Sonny hears a clarinet being played, and goes to investigate, finding Danny McGuire sitting on some rocks] Hey mister, what are you doing up there?
Danny McGuire: Hope you don't mind a little noon-time music, kid. A little lunch time serenade.
Sonny: Oh, I don't mind. It's kinda nice. But I was just wondering where they laid out the body. I mean, you got something a little more upbeat?
Danny McGuire: Sure!
[Plays a short, lively upbeat piece]
Danny McGuire: Better?
Sonny: [chuckles] Well, at least it's faster!
Danny McGuire: [chuckles] Here, gimme a hand kid.
Danny McGuire: Boy oh boy, they sure don't make rocks like they used to!
Sonny: Want some popcorn?
Sonny: [about Kira] What do you mean she doesn't exist? I'm looking right at her, she's on the Nine Sisters album.
Danny McGuire: Kid can you imagine it?
Sonny: Imagine what?
Danny McGuire: A bandstand. Right over there in that corner. And a big band, like in the 40's
Sonny: Nah, nah, nah. Bandstands went out with running boards. Over there. A great rock 'n' roll band. This is the 80's!
Danny McGuire: Real smooth dancers... wild trombone... the band decked out in tuxedos.
Sonny: Six guys wearing electric orange... synthesizer... heavy precussion... electric guitar.
Danny McGuire: Lots of glamour. Everybody dressed in elegance and style.
Danny McGuire: Hey, do you like Glenn Miller?
Sonny: Do you like rock 'n' roll?
Danny McGuire: I love rock 'n' roll.
Sonny: I love Glenn Miller.
Sonny: You ever think about going back into music?
Danny McGuire: Oh, only about 20 or 30 times a day.
Kira: Our first date together.
Sonny: Followed by our first getting-kicked-out together.
Sonny: Aw, what the hell. Guys like me shouldn't dream anyway.
Sonny: Hey wait a minute... I don't even know your name...
Kira: [Echoing] Kira...
Sonny: I'd say it will probably be done... when it's done... but that's just an approximate guess.
Simpson: Five minutes, my office. If it's six, keep walking.
Sonny: Tuesday's Wednesday.
Male Heavenly Voice: We don't use those old-fashioned names any more. Still, it's me you want to speak to.
Sonny: I've come to get Kira.
Male Heavenly Voice: She's not leaving - it's impossible!
Male Heavenly Voice, Sonny: [together] That's what you think!
Sonny: How did you know I was going to say that?
Male Heavenly Voice: Put it this way - I'm a good guesser!
Sonny: Hey I've been asking about you all day. You may not believe this but I'm painting an album cover and you're on it.
Kira: Why shouldn't I believe it?
Sonny: Because before today I never laid eyes on you. Now I've seen you 3 times in one day. That's a little too coincidental.
Kira: Sounds like you don't believe it.
Sonny: [Observing a bloated body] What a waste of a good man.
Lacy Doyle: Yes, such a pity. And he was never gonna be able stop anything.
Megan: [sighs] Anyone care for a fresh pot of tea?
Lacy Doyle: Lovely darling.
Sonny, Megan, Lacy Doyle: [Sonny, Lacy, and Megan shout in unison] We honor you through our actions and our thoughts. Each day that we live upon this Earth, may we grow stronger in wisdom and in our love for you. You are our father, our teacher, our muse, our lover. We have taken your mark.
Sonny: Satan! Come to us! We are ready! Satan! Come to us! We are ready! Satan! Come to us! We are ready!
Lacy Doyle: Oh, Father, you give us the venom. Fill us with your essence.
Megan: Let it burn through our souls and our minds.
Sonny: We trample on the cross.
Megan: We spit upon the book of lies. We desecrate the Virgin Whore.
Lacy Doyle: We blaspheme His holy spirit, and we rejoice in His suffering.
Megan: Guide this child still in the shackles of the oppressor. Help her break free from His tyrant ways.
Sonny: Entice her to take the precious bite from whence she shall be delivered.
Lacy Doyle, Megan, Sonny: You are the dragon, Lord Satan!
Lacy Doyle: Lord, hear us. We are ready to bring your precious child to this world.
Sonny, Megan, Lacy Doyle: [shouting in unison] In memory of Satan, you preach punishment and shame to those who would emancipate themselves and repudiate the slavery of the church. Satan, come to us. We are ready! Satan, come to us. We are ready! Satan, come to us. We are ready!
Sonny: Geez! Every teacher I got this year has flunked me at least once!
Doody: Yeah and if you don't watch it, you're gonna be spending all your time in McGee's office
Sonny: Yeah well this year she's gonna wish she's never seen me
Doody: Oh yeah? and what are you gonna do?
Sonny: I just ain't gonna take any of her crap that's all. I don't take no crap from nobody
Principal McGee: Sonny?
Sonny: Oh, Hello ma'am
Principal McGee: Aren't you suppose to be in homeroom right now?
Sonny: I was just going for a walk
Principal McGee: You were just dawdling weren't you?
Sonny: Yes ma'am
Principal McGee: That is no way to start a new semester Mr. LaTierre
Sonny: Va fa napoli, tutte puttana
Principal McGee: Perhaps a session of banging erasers after school would put you on the right track?
Sonny: Yes ma'am
Principal McGee: Are you just going to stand there all day?
Sonny: Uh no ma'am, I mean yes ma'am, I mean I'm just um...
Principal McGee: Well which is it, yes or no?
Sonny: No ma'am
Principal McGee: Good! Then MOVE!
Sonny: Yes Ma'am
Danny: I'm sure glad you didn't take any of her crap, Sonny. You would've really told her off, huh?
Sonny: [after Marty tells Sonny Riz is pregnant, Sonny spreads the news to others] Rizzo got a bun in the oven.
Mr. Lynch: [Sonny spikes the punch, teacher chaperone turns to watch Sonny] What are you doing?
Sonny: Washing my hands.
Rizzo: Ok, so what do you guys think this is a gang bang?
Sonny: Yeah, you wish.
Danny: Hey guys, look!
Kenickie: Ladies and gentlemen! Dingleberries On Parade!
[football player gets his foot stuck in his helmet]
Doody: Hey, look! You really put your foot into it this time, Chisum!
Putzie: Yeah, try hopscotch, you hot dog!
Sonny: [laughter] What a gavone! Gumdrops, man.
Danny: Well you know, these girls are only good for one thing.
Sonny: Yeah, what are you suppose to do with them the rest of the 23 hours and 45 minutes of the day?
Putzie: [With a serious but confused face] Is that all it takes 15 minutes?
[the guys slap him on the head]
Sonny: When a guy picks a chick over his buddies, something's gotta be wrong. Come on, guys let's go for some pizza.
Sonny: I'm not taking any of her crap, that's all, I'll take no crap from nobody.
Blanche: When I hear music, I just can't make my feet behave.
Sonny: Thinks she's Tinkerbell.
Blanche: Hush, Sonny.
Danny: You know, if we fix up this car, it could be make-out city, you know that.
Sonny: Right, the chick is gonna have to put out before she even gets in.
[the T-Birds have just pulled into the driveway of Frenchy's house, where the girls are having a slumber party]
Sonny: Hey Putzie, why don't you call her?
[Putzie looks unsure, then leans forward, gesturing dramatically]
Putzie: Oh, Sandy. Wherefore art thou, Sandy?
Principal McGee: I think we all owe a round of applause for Patty Simcox and Eugene Felsnick and committee for their beautiful decorations.
Sonny: Let's hear it for the toilet paper!
Principal McGee: In just a few moments the entire nation will be watching Rydell High, God help us, and I want you to all be on your best behavior.
Sonny: NO HINEY BITING!
Jan: I've been dieting all day! My mom's apple pie is better than this stuff! do you want some?
[They start heading out when Sonny stops him]
Sonny: Hey Putzie... 15 minutes!
[He starts laughing and Putzie leaves]
Doody: The problem's in this rubber band engine.
Kenickie: The problem's in your mouth.
Sonny: Kenickie, got any Scotch tape?
Sonny: See I've always dabbled in Native American arts. You know, nothing big just, just little things... see I'm a half-breed. Well, actually, I'm one-eighth Cherokee. It's the best thing I've ever done. I mean, you know, I find art comes natural to our people, don't you?
[speaking of Frankie's coffin]
Sonny: Very attractive isn't it? Gravy in the beard.
[at dinner with Cora]
Jed: Stupid goddamn female.
Sonny: I'm... I'm not a goddamn female!
Jed: What are you, a chipmunk?
Browse more character quotes from I, Robot (2004)