Sondra Pransky Quotes in Scoop (2006)

Sondra Pransky: You are a cynical crapehanger who always see the glass half-empty!

Sid Waterman: No, you're wrong. I see the glass half full, but of poison.

Sondra Pransky: I wouldn't be surprised if he asked me to marry him someday.

Sid Waterman: You come from an orthodox family, would they accept a serial killer?

Sondra Pransky: Look, I can't just go up to him and say, "Hi, how are you?" I mean, it would make him suspicious. So, you know - anything - he gets... put off or...

Sid Waterman: Drown!

Sondra Pransky: What?

Sid Waterman: Drown! Drown! I'll go get co-, I'll go get co...

Sondra Pransky: [shakes her head] Ach...

Sid Waterman: Listen to me! I'll go get coffee, you get a cramp. Go into the water, flounder around, you know...

Sondra Pransky: [sighs] Ahh...

Sid Waterman: Yes! Go ahead, sweetheart. That's, that's a great idea. He'll oblige to save you that way and if he doesn't, you know, then I'll notify your parents.

Sid Waterman: We need to put our heads together.

Sondra Pransky: If you put OUR heads together, you'll hear a hollow noise.

Sid Waterman: You're the daughter I never had.

Sondra Pransky: [touched] Oh, Sidney...

Sid Waterman: No, no, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Cause I never wanted to have kids. I didn't because you have kids... what is it? You know you're nice to them... you bring them up... you suffer... y-you take care of them... and then they grow up and... and... and they accuse... uh... you of having Alzheimer's.

Sondra Pransky: Why don't you think about this as adding some excitement to your life?

Sid Waterman: Sweeheart, excitement in my life is dinner without heartburn after it.

[From trailer]

Sondra Pransky: What are you going to tell the police? "The guy owns a deck of tarot cards... " that's not a crime!

[From trailer]

Sondra Pransky: This guy is a serial killer! He could just kill at any moment!

Sid Waterman: Yeah, I heard that part. That's when I knew I was gonna make other plans.

Joe Strombel: This'll be the biggest story to hit London since Jack the Ripper.

Sondra Pransky: Jack the Ripper. Is that capitalized?

Sondra Pransky: How can we meet him?

Sid Waterman: You know, I don't know... They have a class system. He's an aristocrat and, you know, we're... we're commoners. In fact according to his system, we're... I think we're probably classified as scum.

Sondra Pransky: Dad, I need to talk to you. Right now.

[serious]

Sid Waterman: Right now, sweetie? I was just about to pull some quarters out of Mrs. Quincy's nose!

Sondra Pransky: Do you have a family?

Sid Waterman: I had a wife but sh... she dumped me if you can believe that.

Sondra Pransky: Somehow...

Sid Waterman: She thought I was immature and that I never grew up... I had a great rebuttal for her, I coulda nailed her, you know, but uh... I raised my hand, she would *not* call on me.

Sondra Pransky: What are you putting in your metamucil?

Sid Waterman: Not everything in this world is sinister... just practically everything.

Sondra Pransky: Ugh... the Indian food made me sick.

Sid Waterman: What? You barely touched your cobra salad, how can you be sick?

Sid Waterman: Did you accomplish anything besides a possible pregnancy?

Sondra Pransky: I'll tell you what I did see: his mother, Lady Eleanor, has short-cut, brunette hair.

Sid Waterman: [stuttering] Yeah, but not a hooker?

Sondra Pransky: [shocked pause] No, Sidney, she's not a hooker! I hardly think so. She's practically royalty. Christ, you amaze me sometimes. Your brain!

Peter Lyman: What's wrong? Are you crying?

Sondra Pransky: No, I'm too tough to cry. My nasal passages do get congested when I'm sad, though.

Sondra Pransky: [Peter told them he'd be out of town but then they spotted him across the street] I just can't believe he lied to me!

Sid Waterman: Maybe he's just doing something he's ashamed of, like maybe he belongs to these clubs where he dresses up as a crossdresser, or maybe he does folk dancing!

Sondra Pransky: Why would Peter kill a prostitute?

Sid Waterman: Because it looks bad on his resume!

Sondra Pransky: He asked me to go dancing with him.

Sid Waterman: That's perfect strategy. You worm your way in like a rodent or a roach, and as the crumbs fall off the table, you collect them and we analyze them.

Sondra Pransky: [Speaking of Strombel] Look, the spirit appeared next to me. at first I thought he was one of your stooges.

Sid Waterman: I don't work with stooges. You know, because you gotta pay them health benefits.

Vivian: Who's Jade Spence?

Sondra Pransky: A would-be investigative reporter who has fallen in love with the object of her investigation.

Sid Waterman: You're a pretty girl. You know, I think you could probably get this guy to get interested in you.

Sondra Pransky: Oh, you're silly...

Sid Waterman: Yeah, particularly if he's got a twisted mind.

Sondra Pransky: [to Sid] Stop telling people I sprang from your loins!

Peter Lyman: You take after your father.

Sondra Pransky: [sarcastically] Great.

Peter Lyman: I just can't get the vision of you in your swimsuit out of my head.

Sondra Pransky: Oh I'm glad you liked it! It was marked down!

Sid Waterman: What about Indian food, do you like spicy food?

Sondra Pransky: No, no, it's OK, I don't have that much of an appetite.

Sid Waterman: But you will, when they bring out the prawns in hydrochloric acid...

Sondra Pransky: I think it's time that we show my story to a real journalist.

Sid Waterman: What do you mean, a real journalist?

Sondra Pransky: One that's living.

Desk Clerk: Peter Lyman. Yes, came in a few minutes ago.

Sid Waterman: What color bathing suit does he have on?

Sondra Pransky: Hey, what...?

Sid Waterman: I - do you want me clash with him?

[scoffs]

Sid Waterman: [at Peter Lyman's garden party] Should we hit the buffet table first, though? Because the stuff looks great.

Sondra Pransky: No, Dad! Remember, we wanted to look around.

Sid Waterman: Yes, of course, of course, blessed offspring.

Peter Lyman: [about Sondra] It's just so ironic. Because the way I first met her, I rescued her from drowning in our club pool, and she was a very, very weak swimmer.

Sondra Pransky: Hello?

[Peter turns and stares as Sondra comes into the room]

Sondra Pransky: I was faking at the pool to get your attention. Actually, I used to be captain of the Brooklyn Community swim team.

[she smiles]