Soldiers Quotes in Stripes (1981)

General Barnicke: Are you telling me that you men finished your training on your own?

John Winger: That's the fact, Jack.

Soldiers: That's the fact, Jack.

General Barnicke: Where is your drill sergeant, men?

John Winger: Blown up, sir!

Soldiers: Blown up, sir!

John Winger: Why'd the chicken cross the road?

Soldiers: To get from the left to the right

John Winger: He stepped out of rank, got hit by a tank

Soldiers: He ain't no chicken no more

Dewey Oxburger: My name's Dewey Oxburger. My friends call me Ox. You might have noticed that, uh, I've got a slight weight problem.

Soldiers: Nooo! Noooo!

Dewey Oxburger: Yeah, yeah I do. Yeah, I do. I went to this doctor. Well, he told me I swallow a lot of aggression... along with a lot of pizzas! Ha Ha Ha! Pizzas! I'm basically a shy person, I'm a shy guy. Uh, he suggested taking one these uh, aggression training courses. You know these aggression training courses like EST, those type of things. Anyway, it cost 400 bucks! 400 bucks to join this thing? Well I didn't have the money and I thought to myself, "Join the army"! It's free. So I figured while I'm here I'll lose a few pounds. And you got what, a 6 to 8 week training program here? A real tough one. Which is perfect for me.

[Looks around at all the soldiers and gestures emphatically]

Dewey Oxburger: I'm going to walk out of here a Lean, Mean, Fightin' Machine! Ha ha ha ha!

General Barnicke: Where have you been soldier?

John Winger: Training, sir.

Soldiers: Training, sir.

General Barnicke: What kind of training?

John Winger: Army training, sir.

Soldiers: Army training, sir.

Sergeant Hulka: You don't say "sir" to me, I'm a sergeant, I work for a living.

Soldiers: Yes, sergeant!

Sergeant Hulka: I didn't hear you!

Soldiers: *Yes, sergeant*!

Sergeant Hulka: *That's* what I wanna hear.

John Winger: Do you think this guy's over-doing it a bit?

Rogers: What can you set your watch by Harry?

Soldiers: This fuckin' rain!

[Ahchoo is getting beaten up by a group of soldiers and as Robin who is riding his horse searches for Ahchoo, he suddenly saw Ahchoo getting beaten up by a group of soldiers]

Robin Hood: Ahchoo?

[the soldiers briefly stop beating Ahchoo and face Robin Hood]

Soldiers: Bless you!

[the soldiers continues to beat up Ahchoo]

Ahchoo: Man, I hope someone is getting a video of this!

Soldiers: [chanting] Hamlet's mother, she's the queen / Buys it in the final scene / Drinks a glass of funky wine / Now she's Satan's Valentine.

Bill Rago: Hamlet's mama, she's a queen.

Soldiers: Hamlet's mama, she's a queen.

Bill Rago: Buys it in the final scene.

Soldiers: Buys it in the final scene.

Bill Rago: Drinks a glass of funky wine.

Soldiers: Drinks a glass of funky wine.

Bill Rago: Now she's Satan's valentine.

Soldiers: Now she's Satan's valentine.

Sergeant: Imagine your loved ones conquered by Napoleon and forced to live under French rule. Do you want them to eat that rich food and those heavy sauces?

Soldiers: No...!

Sergeant: Do you want them to have soufflé every meal and croissant?

Sergeant-Major: Squad... CAMP it UP!

[soldiers all chant in unison while mincing about]

Soldiers: Ooh get her! Whoops, I've got your number ducky, you couldn't afford me dear, two three. I'll scratch your eyes out! Don't come the Brigadier bit with us dear, we all know where you've been, you military fairy. Two, three, one, two, three, four, five, six. Whoops! Don't look now girls, the man has just minced in with that jolly colour Sergeant, two three. OOOOH!

Sergeant-Major: [walks on] Right now! Stop that! Silly. And a bit suspect, I think. Time for a cartoon.

[first lines]

Soldiers: Corpsman! Corpsman! Corpsman! Corpsman! For God sakes, corpsman! Corpsman! Corpsman!