Snails Quotes in Dungeons & Dragons (2000)

Snails: I got a new name for "dumb": "Ridley"! This is the Ridleyest thing I've ever heard!

[while scaling the towers of the magic school, to Ridley]

Snails: Why don't we just rob God while we up here.

Snails: She must've put some kinda holding spell into that bracelet.

Ridley: Yeah, must be the only way she can get guys to come home with her.

Marina Pretensa: I'd have to put a feeble mind spell on myself to want to take *you* home.

Snails: That was funny.

Marina Pretensa: You're going to the city dungeon.

Snails: That wasn't.

Ridley: We gotta save Marina.

Snails: Wait. What about the dwarf?

Ridley: You get the dwarf. I'll get the girl.

Snails: Wait, how come I always gotta get the dwarf?

Norda: How old are you?

Snails: Twenty-three. Yeah, I know I'm a little young for you, but what if I get my hands on an aging potion, huh? I'll sacrifice a couple of years for you.

Norda: I'm two hundred and thirty-four.

[Ridley recites an incantation, hoping to decode a scroll]

Ridley: Alanor, salah, bedara!

[Nothing happens. Hands scroll to Marina]

Ridley: Can't blame me for trying. At least I...

[Ridley is sucked into the map]

Snails: Woo hoo! See that there? I knew that boy had talent!

Snails: I thought you said this was gonna be easy.

Ridley: No, I said it wasn't impossible.

Snails: See, that's the same thing you said when we robbed that little halfling's house.

[Ridley begins mouthing in time as Snails says;]

Snails: And who'd he catch? Me. And who'd he beat from the waist down? Me.

Ridley: Are you gonna jump?

Snails: You gonna catch me?

Ridley: I'm gonna catch you.

Snails: Promise?

Ridley: I promise. Now jump.

Snails: All right.

[There is a noise off to the side and Ridley turns around as Snails screams then falls to the ground]

Ridley: Sorry. I though I heard something.

Snails: You did. Me hitting the ground.

Sunset Shimmer: This looks terrible! There should be more streamers near the stage and fewer balloons.

[balloon pops]

Snips: Yeah, streamers!

Snails: And fewer balloons!

[thud]