Smokey Quotes in Stuart Little (1999)

Snowbell: Didn't your mother warn you that you shouldn't go out into Central Park at night?

Smokey: My mother was the reason you shouldn't go out into Central Park at night.

Snowbell: You think you could help me?

Smokey: Consider it done.

Snowbell: Thank-you Mister Smokey sir, how could I ever think you?

Smokey: Don't worry Tinkerbell, anytime.

Snowbell: Tinkerbell! Ha Ha, He called me Tinkerbell! You're a funny guy!

Smokey: Yeah, whatever. HOUSE CATS, Sheesh!

[while the alley cats are chasing Stuart in the roadster]

Lucky: I hope he runs out of gas!

Red: I hope you do!

Lucky: Why don't you run to the back?

Red: I can't help it! I have a nervous stomach!

Smokey: And I have an empty stomach! Now, get that mouse!

Smokey: Say good night... Tinkerbell.

[Snowbell gulps]

Stuart Little: Hey, Smokey! His name is Snowbell!

[Smacks him off the tree with a branch]

Smokey: AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGHHHHHHHHHH!

Snowbell: He's not just a mouse! He's... He's... he's family.

Smokey: Oh yeah. ha ha ha... I can see the resemblence...

[laughs evilly]

Smokey: How you doing? You must be Stuart.

Stuart Little: Actually... I must be going.

[Gets back into his little car]

Lucky: What's your hurry, Murray?

Red: Yeah, where ya going, Murray - - Urm Stuart. What's his name?

Monty, the Mouth: [while Stuart is hugging Snowball] Snow, what's he doing to your leg? I can't help to think that this is wrong.

Smokey: What the hell's going on here?

Snowbell: Urrrrm... Listen, Smokey... I want to quit this whole thing off... okay?

Smokey: Too late!

Smokey: [pushes the branch Stuart's on down] Here you go, boys! Dinner's served!

Monty, the Mouth: Alright, Smokey! Way to go!

Stuart Little: Oh dear!

Lucky: Look, it's mouse on a stick! I love mouse on a stick!

Monty, the Mouth: A little further! Keep him comin'! Keep him comin'! Alright I can almost reach him! Keep him coming! I got him, he's mine!

[Snowbell snaps the branch]

Monty, the Mouth: What the? Hey, the branch is the gonna!

Snowbell: Well, what have we got here?

Monty, the Mouth: Snow, don't come out here, the branch is breaking!

Snowbell: Stuart, are you alright?

Stuart Little: Yeah, yeah I'm okay.

Snowbell: Just hang on, I'll take it from here!

Monty, the Mouth: Huh? Take what?

[Snowbell pushes the branch Monty's on with Red and Lucky on further]

Monty, the Mouth: Hey, c'mon Snow! You wouldn't do this to me? I'm not your old buddy?

Snowbell: Don't worry, buddy! I'm sure you'll land

[he pushes the branch further]

Monty, the Mouth: No, no Snow! What're you doing?

Snowbell: On your feet!

[the branch snaps sending Red, Lucky and Monty into the water]

Lucky, Monty, the Mouth, Red: Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!

[all three cats splash in the water]

The Dude: Walter, ya know, it's Smokey, so his toe slipped over the line a little, big deal. It's just a game, man.

Walter Sobchak: Dude, this is a league game, this determines who enters the next round robin. Am I wrong? Am I wrong?

Smokey: Yeah, but I wasn't over. Gimme the marker Dude, I'm marking it 8.

Walter Sobchak: [pulls out a gun] Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.

The Dude: Walter...

Walter Sobchak: You mark that frame an 8, and you're entering a world of pain.

Smokey: I'm not...

Walter Sobchak: A world of pain.

Smokey: Dude, he's your partner...

Walter Sobchak: [shouting] Has the whole world gone crazy? Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules? Mark it zero!

The Dude: They're calling the cops, put the piece away.

Walter Sobchak: Mark it zero!

[points gun in Smokey's face]

The Dude: Walter...

Walter Sobchak: [shouting] You think I'm fucking around here? Mark it zero!

Smokey: All right, it's fucking zero. Are you happy, you crazy fuck?

Walter Sobchak: ...It's a league game, Smokey.

Walter Sobchak: OVER THE LINE!

Smokey: Huh?

Walter Sobchak: I'm sorry, Smokey. You were over the line, that's a foul.

Smokey: Bullshit. Mark it 8, Dude.

Walter Sobchak: Uh, excuse me. Mark it zero. Next frame.

Smokey: Bullshit, Walter. Mark it 8, Dude.

Walter Sobchak: Smokey, this is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.

Smokey: I know you don't smoke weed, I know this; but I'm gonna get you high today, 'cause it's Friday; you ain't got no job... and you ain't got shit to do.

Craig Jones: We ain't got no sugar.

Smokey: No sugar? Damn. Y'all ain't never got two things that match. Either y'all got Kool-aid, no sugar. Peanut butter, no jelly. Ham, no burger. Daaamn.

Smokey: Weed is from the earth. God put this here for me and you. Take advantage man, take advantage.

Smokey: I got mind control over Deebo. He be like "shut the fuck up." I be quiet. But when he leave, I be talking again.

Smokey: Remember it ,Write it down, take a picture, I don't give a fuck.

Smokey: Puff puff, give. Puff puff, give. You fuckin' up the rotation.

Smokey: Damn! Mrs. Parker finer than a motherfucker.

Craig Jones, Smokey: Hi, Mrs. Parker.

Mrs. Parker: Hi, boys.

Smokey: [quieter, but still audible] When you gonna let me *fuck* Mrs. Parker?

Mrs. Parker: What you say, honey?

Smokey: Huh? Nothing.

Pastor Clever: [at Smokey] Excuse me brother, what we call drugs at the 74th Street Baptist Church we call the sin of sin sins.

Smokey: Well round here, between Normandie and Western, we call this here a little twenty twen twen...

Craig Jones: Right...

Smokey: Nigga...

Pastor Clever: Give me a little for my cataracts.

Smokey: You didn't put in on this man.

[Smokey taking a crap outside]

Smokey: You better not tell anybody man.

Ezal: Man, I'm not, man.

Smokey: Keep it on the down low.

Ezal: Alright brother. Damn.

[Looks around and yells]

Ezal: Hey, Smokey back here taking a shit!

Smokey: Ezal!

Ezal: Well, I won't tell anybody else.

Smokey: [after Craig knocks out Deebo] You got knocked the fuck out, man! Give me my goddamn money...

[Smokey takes $200 from a knocked-out Deebo]

Smokey: Payback's a motherfucker, ain't it? Nigga!

[walking away]

Smokey: Pow! Pow, Pow, POW!

Red: [punches Deebo as he's getting up and takes chain back] My grandmama gave me this chain!

Ezal: [slowly walks to Deebo] Deebo? DEEBO! Man, you shoulda been bobbin' and weavin'! Look 'it at ya! GET UP! Since you ain't, maybe I'll take these shoes!

[struggling to take Deebo's shoe off]

Ezal: Big... foot... motherfucker, you can *have* ya knife! 'Cause I *STEAL*, I don't *KILL*.

Smokey: Older the berry, the sweeter the juice.

Craig Jones: Man, it's the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice.

Smokey: Yeah, well she blacker than a motherfucker too.

Smokey: [on phone] What's up Big Perm?... I mean Big Worm.

Smokey: [after breaking into Stanley's house] We got about two hundred dollars.

Deebo: *I* got about two hundred dollars.

Red: [after having his necklace snatched by Deebo] Hey, man, why didn't y'all help me!

Smokey: [slouching in his chair] Man, I'm high.

Red: Man, that's fucked up. If it was y'all, I would've helped y'all.

Craig Jones: What about the time he tried to choke me in Smoke's backyard?

Red: [pause, thinks about it] Oh, that was different.

Smokey: [sees Big Worm drives away] Florida Evans-looking motherfucker.

Smokey: Why don't you tell your daddy to comb his damn hair, look like some spiders is having a meetin' on his head.

Smokey: Why you not goin' to work?

Craig Jones: I got fired yesterday.

Smokey: No shit? I thought you had the day off yesterday.

Craig Jones: I did. I went in to pick up my check, came home, my supervisor called me about four o'clock, told me he got me on tape stealing boxes.

Smokey: The fuck you stealing boxes for? What you trying to build, a clubhouse?

Craig Jones: Hell, no, ain't got me on tape. But they said they did. Fired me on the spot. Talkin' about pressin' charges.

Smokey: Goddamn! You've got to be one stupid motherfucker to get fired on your day off.

Craig Jones: What I'm trippin on, is how you gonna sell bud, when you smoke it?

Smokey: I don't know. That's my only problem.

Craig Jones: Big Worm gonna fuck you up.

Smokey: Big Worm ain't gonna do a goddamn thing, man.

Craig Jones: All right...

Smokey: You know Craig? Craig got fired!

Big Worm: What the fuck that gotta do wit me?

Smokey: Man that fool just playin' man, I ain't trippin.

Craig Jones: That's yo problem. Aint' nobody playin' but you. You walk up and down the street all day playin'. He aint' playin' you think he playin' 'bout his money? He know where my momma stay know where you momma stay. He say he had a gun when you seen him right?

Smokey: Yeah

Craig Jones: Well name one person in the hood that play like that!

Smokey's mom: Smokey, get me some cigarettes.

Smokey: Well, give me some money.

[Smokey's mom gives Smokey a dollar]

Smokey: Wait, this isn't enough.

Smokey's mom: Make it enough.

Smokey: I've been smokin' ever since I was two.

Smokey: [tearing through Craig's open bedroom window curtain] Break yo' self Fool!

Craig Jones: Man, look what you did to my curtain. You better watch that window you climbing in fool 'fo you get blasted on.

Smokey: With what? You ain't got nothin' man.

Craig Jones: With this!

[pointing his Glock at Smokey]

Smokey: Man, Where you get that from?

Craig Jones: Yo Mama.

Smokey: Fuck you!

Craig Jones: Fuck you! He he he

[chuckling]

Smokey: Come on outside man, and stop playing.

Craig Jones: Gotta get dressed.

Smokey: Hurry Up!

Craig Jones: Don't tell me to hurry up!

Smokey: [calling Big Worm on his phone] Hey um, did somebody... page Smokey?

Big Worm: [v.o. on phone] Don't play dumb nigger, you know who the is! You got my money?

Smokey: I ain't got it, but I'm gonna get it.

[Big Worm hangs up]

Craig Jones: What happened?

Smokey: Man he just hung up... I think we better stay in the house.

Smokey: I won, gimme my money.

Deebo: What money!

Smokey: I lost.

Hector: [while smoking with Smokey] Hey, hey, hey! Take it easy, holmes!

Smokey: I know what I'm doin', man! Shut the fuck up!

[Hector and his friend laugh at him]

[last lines]

Smokey: [on phone] Yeah, I got your money. And I don't appreciate you sendin' your punk ass, busta ass, Jheri curl wearin' ass friends come down here to shoot at me and my homie. They'd like to got dealt with.

Big Worm: First of all, don't be callin' here like you some straight up "G", 'cause I'll cut your balls off and hand 'em to you, partner. I had to warn you too many times about my money, Smokey. You see, it's the principle of the whole thing. There's principalities in this.

Smokey: Yeah, well... I got your money anyways. And you sell that shit yourself next time, 'cause I'm goin' to rehab. I'm through with this shit.

[hangs up, then lights a joint]

Smokey: [to the viewer] I was just bullshittin'! And you know this, man!

Ezal: Smoke, buy me a 40oz for my birthday.

Smokey: Today your birthday?

Ezal: What's today?

Deebo: Come on Smoke, Stanley left his window open.

Smokey: I can't I'm on probation.

Deebo: Stop being a bitch and come on.

Smokey: The weed be lettin' you know... Evil lurks

Rita: Ooooh, What's up?

Smokey: Not a damn thannng!

Smokey: [about Red] He gonna cry in the car.

Smokey: [after smoking marijuana in the car with Hector and his friend, he finds himself running down the street in his white A-shirt and white briefs] The next thing I know, I was runnin' down the street in my damn drawers!

Joann: Smokey, I need you to go to the store and get me some cigarettes

Smokey: Give me the money

Joann: [she hands smokey one dollar]

Smokey: Wait, Wait, Wait, Wait a minute, what's this? This ain't enough

Joann: Make it enough

Smokey: DAMN!

Hector: 'Sup, Smokey?

Smokey: Fuck you.

Craig Jones, Smokey: [after they see Red's black eye] DAAAAAMN!

Smokey: Hey Linvy, what's a three letter word for "a sticky substance"?

[Linville thinks for a moment and then points to a wad of gum in his mouth]

Smokey: Spit? No, that's four.

Sam: [talking about The Brother] What am I supposed to do?

Fly: You the city, Sam. Figure out where to put him.

Sam: Men's shelter.

Smokey: Too smelly.

Sam: Okay. The Hilton. You got the tab?

Smokey: What they pay you for?

Sam: I just make phone calls. You want him out, you could call the cops.

Fly: Cops? Oh, man.

Smokey: He knew the death seat when he sat down on it.

Sam: It's not like I got to drum up more business for the city, you know?

Smokey: [Men in Black have just left] White folks get stranger all the time.

Miklo Velka: [Takes a Knife out and puts it on Clavo's neck] You want to see who I am, huh?

Cruz: ¡CALMALA, CALMALA!

Realthing: [Takes a gun and points it on Popeye] I'll do the warning shots, cabrón!

Smokey: We can do the Running Truck or we can op each other.

Apache: POCOS PERO LOCOS, HOMIE!

Cruz: Miklo, don't fuck around ese.

Clavo: Realthing, don't do it.

Cruz: Miklo, this vato is big trouble!

Miklo Velka: CALLATE!

Clavo: You blobbed into this game, gabacho, you better hold in 5 aces.

Miklo Velka: In the joint I was hustling more money than that punk ever dreamed of, he was punch my timeclock. WHAT'S THE GIG?

Cruz: Aguila, Aguila.

[last lines]

Jordan: Should we go back there and help Ed?

Smokey: Ed? Aw, he can talk his way out of this. I saw him talk his way out a lot of things.

Smokey: You know, if there were gangs around like in the old days, I'd be running things, not you. You'd be second lieutenant. You might have gotten by for a while on the Motorcycle Boy's rep, but you have to be smart to run things. You ain't got your brother's brains. It's nothing personal, Rusty James, but nobody would follow you into a fight because you'd get people killed - and nobody wants to be killed.

'Whopper': For ten cents I'd go down to the bank and close out my account.

'Smokey': Why? You still wouldn't have enough to pay for a shave!