Smart Ass Quotes in Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)

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Smart Ass Quotes:

  • Eddie Valiant: I'm through with taking falls / And bouncing off the walls / Without that gun, I'd have some fun / I'd kick you in the...

    [bottle falls on his head]

    Roger Rabbit: Nose!

    Smart Ass: Nose? That don't rhyme with "walls."

    Eddie Valiant: No, but this does.

    [kicks Smartass in the crotch, propelling him into a vat of Dip]

  • Smart Ass: Search the place, boys, and leave no stone interned.

  • Smart Ass: Stop that laughing. You know what happens when you can't stop laughing?

    [hits two with a plunger, and throws it at Stupid]

    Smart Ass: One of these days, you're gonna die laughing.

  • Smart Ass: [From outside Eddie's Office] Don't make us play rough, Valiant. We just want the rabbit.

    Roger Rabbit: What are we gonna do, Eddie? What are we gonna do, Eddie? What are we gonna do?

    Eddie Valiant: What's all this "we" stuff? They just want the rabbit.

  • [Eddie is hiding Roger and the handcuffs in his sink, to hide him from the Toon Patrol]

    Smart Ass: Okay, wise-guy. Where's the rabbit?

    Eddie Valiant: Haven't seen 'im.

    Smart Ass: [sniffs suspiciously at the sink] What's in there?

    Eddie Valiant: [holds up a dirty sock] My lingerie.

    Smart Ass: [yelps, winces, and covers his nose] I see, Valiant.

  • Smart Ass: Look, Valiant, we got a reliable tip-off. The rabbit was here. It was corrugated by several others. So cut the "bull-shtick"!

    Eddie Valiant: You keep talkin' like that, and I'm gonna have to wash your mouth out!

    [he sticks a bar of soap in Smart Ass's mouth, making the other weasels laugh]

  • Smart Ass: Say, Judge. You want we should disresemble the place?

    Judge Doom: No, Sergeant. Disassembling the place won't be necessary. The rabbit is going to come right to me.

    [Doom taps "Shave and a Haircut" on counter]

    Judge Doom: No toon can resist the old Shave-and-a-Haircut trick.

    [Continues tapping]

  • Smart Ass: Hey Judge, what should we do with the wallflower?

    [referring to Eddie who is now visible through the hole in the wall]

    Judge Doom: [holding Roger by the neck] We'll settle with him later. Right now, I feel like dispensing some justice. Bring me some dip.

  • Judge Doom: Have they got the will or not?

    Smart Ass: [Holding out Jessica's Love Letter from Roger found in Eddie's pocket] Nah, just a stupid love letter.

    Judge Doom: No matter. I doubt the will'll show up in the next fifteen minutes, anyway.

    Eddie Valiant: What happens in the next fifteen minutes?

    Judge Doom: Toontown will be legally mine, lock, stock and barrel.

  • Eddie Valiant: Everything's funny to you, ain't it, needlenose?

    Smart Ass: You got a problem with that, Valiant?

    Eddie Valiant: No, I just want you to know something about the guy you're gonna dip.

    [Pulls a lever on a calliope, which plays "The Merry-Go-Round Broke Down"]

    Eddie Valiant: [singing] Now Roger is his name / Laughter is his game / C'mon you dope, untie his rope / And watch him go insane.

    [He starts dancing and tumbling around, as the weasels laugh]

    Jessica Rabbit: He's lost his mind.

    Roger Rabbit: I don't think so.

  • Smart Ass: And as for you, Valiant, step out of line, and we'll hang you and your laundry out to dry.

  • Smart Ass: We searched Valiant boss. The will ain't on him.

    Judge Doom: Then frisk the woman.

    Greasy: *I'll* handle this one...

    [He puts his hand down her dress and feels around for a beat before screaming in pain and removing his hand which has been caught by a bear trap]

    Eddie Valiant: [to Jessica] Nice booby trap.

    [the weasels all laugh at Greasy's misfortune, but Doom glares at them and they stop]

    Judge Doom: Do they have the will or not?

    Smart Ass: Nah, just a stupid love letter.

    Judge Doom: No matter. I doubt that will is going to show up in the next fifteen minutes anyway.

    Eddie Valiant: What happens in the next fifteen minutes?

    Judge Doom: Toontown will be legally mine, lock, stock and barrel.

Browse more character quotes from Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)

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