Skroeder Quotes in Short Circuit (1986)

Skroeder: ...and I'm going to need some Hueys.

Howard Marner: Some what?

Skroeder: HELICOPTERS, Howard. Jesus Christ!

Howard Marner: I thought they were choppers.

Skroeder: Well, now they're called Hueys.

Howard Marner: Well, why wasn't I notified?

Ben Jabituya: "Unable. Malfunction."

Howard Marner: How can it refuse to turn itself off?

Skroeder: Maybe it's pissed off.

Newton Crosby: It's a machine, Schroeder. It doesn't get pissed off. It doesn't get happy, it doesn't get sad, it doesn't laugh at your jokes.

Newton Crosby, Ben Jabituya: [in unison] It just runs programs.

Howard Marner: It usually runs programs.

Howard Marner: Crosby, what's it gonna do?

Newton Crosby: Howard it's hard to say, it's malfunctioning, it may not do anything.

Skroeder: But it COULD decide to blow away anything that moves, couldn't it? COULDN'T IT CROSBY?

Skroeder: What the hell does it need input for?

Newton Crosby: I don't know; I guess it can't triangulate its position.

Howard Marner: That's a simple function.

Newton Crosby: Can you triangulate YOUR position, Howard?

Howard Marner: No.

Newton Crosby: Well, then - there you go!

[after Number 5 is seemingly destroyed]

Skroeder: [cheerfully] Now that, my friend, is how you kick ass!

Howard Marner: Years of research are down the tubes, and you're happy as a pig in slops.

Skroeder: [proudly] Just doing my job, sir.

Howard Marner: Maybe from now on you can do it somewhere else.

Skroeder: [after watching Crosby disassemble Number 5] What the hell is the matter with you, you four-eyed idiot?

Newton Crosby: [mumbling to himself] What an asshole.

Skroeder: [angrily] I heard that!

Newton Crosby: Let me tell you something. I don't like those NOVA guys any more than you do. In fact, I don't care if they ever get Number 5 back. But I wanna see it.

Stephanie Speck: If I show you where he is, do I have your word: You will not experiment on him, you will not flip the switches, and you will not take him apart?

Newton Crosby: Absolutely. You have my word.

Stephanie Speck: Okay. He's out back. I'll take you to him.

Skroeder: [walks up to them] Well, while you're at it, young lady, you can take me, too.

Newton Crosby: [surprised] Skroeder!

Skroeder: Terrific job, Crosby. Thanks for the help.

Newton Crosby: No. I had nothing to do with this!

Stephanie Speck: You bastard! You're a liar!